- Hardcover: 180 pages
- Publisher: Pocket Books (7 Oct 2002)
- Language English
- ISBN-10: 0743232283
- ISBN-13: 978-0743232289
- Product Dimensions: 16 x 13.6 x 2.2 cm
- Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
- Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 260,200 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Product Description
Review
From the bestselling author of The Blue Day book comes an uplifting look at the perennial search for Mr Right told through a delightful mix of retro images and wise and witty words. An extraordinary collection of rejection letters sent by publishers to now famous writers is sure to entertain and delight readers. Includes rejections of le Carr , Orwell and Joseph Heller. Dedicated to prisoner FF8282 and designed to help fill the time of the bereft millions who have nothing to read until the gates fly open and the world's most missed writer bounces out. The first book by cult cartoonist Dr Parsons, who stalks the corridors of power and pomposity armed with crayons and coloured pencils like some small, bearded avenging god. A selection of often hilarious, sometimes poignant, school reports of the great and the good, including Jeremy Paxman, Harry Enfield, Elton John, John Lennon, Jilly Cooper, Michael Heseltine among others.
Product Description
From Lord Asquith to Charlotte Church, a selection of often hilarious, sometimes poignant, school reports of the great and the good. A few examples: 'Though her written work is the product of an obviously lively imagination, it is a pity that her spelling derives from the same source' (Beryl Bainbridge) 'His flying off the handle will only mar his efforts, and he must learn tact while not losing his outspokeness' (Jeremy Paxman) 'He is so regular in his irregularity that I really don't know what to do' (Winston Churchill) 'Certainly on the road to failure...hopeless...rather a clown in class...wasting other pupils' time' (John Lennon) 'She must try to be less emotional in her dealings with others' (Diana, Princess of Wales)
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I was in the mood for something quick and uplifting, and this did the trick. This collection of school reports shows that when men and women who grew up to become influential are like most others--a couple shone as exemplary students, but many were disobedient and caused their teacher's hair to grow grey. I could definitely see teachers smiling to themselves as they read this.
I was also struck by how witty and sardonic these teachers were. Some excerpts:
Alan Coren, Journalist and Broadcaster: Coren's grasp of elementary dynamics is truly astonishing. Had he lived in an earlier eon, I have little doubt but that the wheel would now be square and the principle of the lever just one more of man's impossible dreams.
Dame Judi Dench: Judi would be a very good pupil if she lived in this world.
John Lennon: Certainly on the road to failure . . . hopeless . . . rather a clown in class . . . wasting other pupil's time.
Sir Norman Wisdom, Actor: The boy is every inch a fool but luckily for him he's not very tall.
Woody Allen - While cautiously holding out some hope of readmission suggested he seek counseling for his inability to take life seriously.
Beryl Bainbridge, novelist: Though her written work is the product of an obviously lively imagination, it is a pity that her spelling derives from the same source. Geography: Her knowledge of the subject is so poor as to make one wonder if she is simple-minded.
Winston Churchill: is a constant trouble to everybody and is always in some scrape or another. He cannot be trusted to behave himself anywhere.
Good fun for a free afternoon, but probably best gotten from a library or borrowed from a friend.
I was also struck by how witty and sardonic these teachers were. Some excerpts:
Alan Coren, Journalist and Broadcaster: Coren's grasp of elementary dynamics is truly astonishing. Had he lived in an earlier eon, I have little doubt but that the wheel would now be square and the principle of the lever just one more of man's impossible dreams.
Dame Judi Dench: Judi would be a very good pupil if she lived in this world.
John Lennon: Certainly on the road to failure . . . hopeless . . . rather a clown in class . . . wasting other pupil's time.
Sir Norman Wisdom, Actor: The boy is every inch a fool but luckily for him he's not very tall.
Woody Allen - While cautiously holding out some hope of readmission suggested he seek counseling for his inability to take life seriously.
Beryl Bainbridge, novelist: Though her written work is the product of an obviously lively imagination, it is a pity that her spelling derives from the same source. Geography: Her knowledge of the subject is so poor as to make one wonder if she is simple-minded.
Winston Churchill: is a constant trouble to everybody and is always in some scrape or another. He cannot be trusted to behave himself anywhere.
Good fun for a free afternoon, but probably best gotten from a library or borrowed from a friend.
0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
Brilliant for those longer trips to the toilet. I particularly liked Richard Brier's reports. I think though, they could have got more mileage out of it by having more well known celebrities in it. Liz Barker and Simon Thomas- I doubt most of the readers will have heard of these two. However, given what a challenge it must have been to get reports out of celebrities, they've done a good job here.
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