Controlling People and over 2 million other books are available for Amazon Kindle . Learn more
  • RRP: £10.99
  • You Save: £2.20 (20%)
FREE Delivery in the UK on orders over £10.
In stock.
Dispatched from and sold by Amazon.
Gift-wrap available.
Quantity:1
Controlling People: How t... has been added to your Basket
+ £2.80 UK delivery
Used: Good | Details
Sold by owlsmart_usa
Condition: Used: Good
Comment: Good clean copy with no missing pages might be an ex library copy; may contain marginal notes and or highlighting
Trade in your item
Get a £0.34
Gift Card.
Have one to sell?
Flip to back Flip to front
Listen Playing... Paused   You're listening to a sample of the Audible audio edition.
Learn more
See all 3 images

Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand and Deal with People Who Try to Control You Paperback – 1 Jan 2004


See all 6 formats and editions Hide other formats and editions
Amazon Price New from Used from
Kindle Edition
"Please retry"
Paperback
"Please retry"
£8.79
£4.83 £2.96
£8.79 FREE Delivery in the UK on orders over £10. In stock. Dispatched from and sold by Amazon. Gift-wrap available.

Special Offers and Product Promotions

  • When you trade in £15 or more you’ll receive an additional £5 Amazon.co.uk Gift Card for the next time you spend £10 or more.

Frequently Bought Together

Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand and Deal with People Who Try to Control You + The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond + Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
Price For All Three: £26.22

Buy the selected items together


Trade In this Item for up to £0.34
Trade in Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand and Deal with People Who Try to Control You for an Amazon Gift Card of up to £0.34, which you can then spend on millions of items across the site. Trade-in values may vary (terms apply). Learn more

Product details

  • Paperback: 315 pages
  • Publisher: Adams Media Corporation; 3 edition (1 Jan. 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 158062569X
  • ISBN-13: 978-1580625692
  • Product Dimensions: 14.6 x 2.1 x 21.6 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (39 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 66,688 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Discover books, learn about writers, and more.

Product Description

Review

"...the most important thing is to realize that you don't deserve to be treated that way."-Oprah Winfrey (advance praise for Controlling People); "A groundbreaking new book."-Newsweek

Inside This Book (Learn More)
First Sentence
Have you ever been puzzled or disturbed by the behavior of a family member, friend, or coworker and found yourself wondering, What's going on? Read the first page
Explore More
Concordance
Browse Sample Pages
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
Search inside this book:

Customer Reviews

4.1 out of 5 stars

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

73 of 76 people found the following review helpful By MyLittleEye on 26 Aug. 2006
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book is has given me many useful insights into the whys and hows of emotionally abusive behaviour. The other reviewers here have effectively listed it's many plus points.

However, the title says "How to Recognize, Understand and *Deal* with People Who Try to Control You

I had hoped for more concrete methods described in the dealing with controllers aspect. The book's concluding chapters seemed to me to consist of many quotes from people congratulating either themselves or Evans on having 'broken the spell'. I found it hard to distil firm techniques that would help me practice spellbreaking. The abuse I witness is very subtle and hard to pin down and confront in the workplace and the methods mentioned seem to me best suited for "In your face" abuse.

Finally so many books and websites on abuse and bullying are overtly gender biased and Patricia Evan's book is no exception. I think a better balanced insight could have been gained from illustrating the patterns of control and abuse with more examples of people abused by female partners or colleagues. When the "typical" gender dynamic is reversed it really does highlight the power and recurring pattern of controlling abusive behaviour.

The path to becoming an abuser is not a "Man thing". It can flow from mother to daughter from wife to husband, even employee to boss! Being a target of abuse is not the female prerogative.

Myself, my father, my partner and her father, have all been the objects of "control connections" from spellbound women and those women in turn were the victims of maternal abuse and neglect.
Read more ›
6 Comments Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
28 of 29 people found the following review helpful By Hello on 21 April 2009
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
In describing how the controlling mindset works, this is the best book I've ever read: clear in its theories, insightful, convincing, perceptive and not unsympathetic to the controlling person. If you want a view into how such thinking works, this is your book.

On the other hand, it suffers several flaws. Minor ones first: Evans spends time reflecting on the worldwide political implications of her psychological theory that start moving into unsupported vagueness, and that's pages that could more usefully have been devoted to constructive advice, plus over-reaching a bit. Also, she rather over-uses her invented phrases, 'Controller', 'Pretend Person' and so on, which gives the book an almost cultic feel at times. There are times when the book feels a bit over-excited about its theory.

This wouldn't be too bad, but there are two serious flaws: it offers frustratingly little advice on what to do about such situations - saying 'What?' whenever someone makes an inappropriate remark is honestly about as far as it goes - and its structure is rather meandering.

It's a real shame that she speaks vaguely of the 'Controller' throughout and doesn't consider any changes of nuance according to the relationship. Why not, for instance, have a chapter on husband-to-wife control, wife-to-husband, parent-to-child, friend-to-friend, boss-to-employee and so on? All of these are slightly different situations where the same problem can occur, and the victims' options are very different in each. Such a structure would not only be more helpful but would also make the book far easier to navigate and reread. As it is, it's hard to remember what Evans says where; it all blurs into one general theory.

A great theory, to be sure.
Read more ›
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Annie on 10 April 2012
Format: Paperback
This is the best book that I have found to date , about the "walking through glue" sensation of living or being under another person`s control; feeling so helpless and bound down with that loss of self determination and suffering that abuse of ones own self integrity. Once it enters a family for example , it seems to attract more controllers down through the generations because the lack of self worth is set, and the vibration is there. I suppose this applies in employment as well.
In order to help you to shorten your misery by finding the appropriate information, there is a similar but also different type of control as explained by a different author, in " Puzzling People" which you might wish to check out? This type of mayhem will take forever for many to identify , just like it was for me. It is a wasted life and I think that we would agree that understanding can help us to deal with it without the added confusion.
These two books are totally brilliant, as they both deal with different facets of very severe disturbance in our lives.

To return to the main subject, I agree that this book, " Controlling People" does not seem to provide enough , in the way of an antidote or solution, compared to the strength of the problem, but I think it is the best that we can access so far! If it has worked for some, then it is well worth giving it a go? The book explains the problem brilliantly which is a start. We can understand what is what from this book, and so the book can reduce the confusion. We also know that we are not entirely alone in this place that such controllers place us, as it afflicts unknown thousands or even millions of us, all of us hopelessly looking for a solution !
Read more ›
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again

Most Recent Customer Reviews



Feedback