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Review
I strongly recommend [this book] to all care home managers and staff teams
--John Burton, Caring Times
--John Burton, Caring Times
Review
"Shows how to minimze that distress and manage the dementia in ways that recall early pioneering work on dealing with madness . . . He writes clearly and plainly, gives good examples of the techniques he suggests, and stays always on the practical side. I expected this book to be depressing; it is exactly the opposite." "--Independent"
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
53 of 53 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
I have been battling with my mum for five years. Then I got this book, nothing prepared me for the gentle but very necessary slap around the face when I read it. Wow, I had spent so much time arguing and thinking that I had to keep my mum in my idea of reality when logically now I see I needed to enter her frame of logic in order to keep her calm, happy and oh so much more fun to be around!! if you only buy one book to help you work out your care plan, buy this one, dont hesitate, just buy it, I have asked everyone I know to read this book, its fab, next stop to go on the accompanying course. If you would like to talk about dementia, email me!! we can moan together xx
64 of 66 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Practical, helpful, sensitive, comforting, illuminating, brilliant, constructive - yes, it is all that, and more. Don't take (too much) notice of the negative reviewers as you really shouldn't miss this book. Infused with compassion and kindness (RARE qualities these days), the advice was developed by someone who clearly has a talent for non-confrontation and small talk, both of which it is wise to learn early on in your loved one's journey of confusion. Whether it is called dementia, alzheimer, memory loss, forgetfulness doesn't matter to those of us who are in pain watching our loved one deteriorate and struggle with their new and unfamiliar circumstances, and who want to find ways to make it hurt less - for them as well as ourselves.
This refreshingly positive book immediately takes away a lot of the suffering, and the judgments, for both "sides", at least in the earlier stages. We cannot (yet) speak about later stages but we feel SO different about the situation after reading this book - we've now read a great deal about memory matters and can vouch for the fact that no "expert" in clinical practice has made anything like the kinds of loving and caring PRACTICAL suggestions and procedures spelled out in this book, which we started putting into practice immediately. So what if it seems like "infantilising" the sufferer, who in our experience certainly did not feel we were doing this but who immediately brightened up and was much happier with our new approach.
Unfortunately, there are some situations even this book cannot help us with - how do you deal with an elderly person who is very upset - every single evening - because mother (dead 50 years) is late for supper and who won't accept any of the excuses you dream up?
As indicated in real-life stories given in the book, we also have noticed (from carers sharing stories at support groups) that the sufferer's partner is likely to find it very difficult to accept what is happening or to readily adopt the methods set out in this book. It IS hard to change the relationship habits of a long lifetime and the carer-partner is likely to have health challenges as well, which can make things even more difficult. The book is as much for them as for the direct victim of this horrible, slow-acting plague.
SPECAL, as the method is called, can transform (and has actually done so) some of the experiences of the dementia sufferer and of those around him/her.
LATER NOTE: I recently learned, to my sorrow, that several established dementia organisations now are against SPECAL, although they were originally in favour. As a result, the SPECAL charity expects to run out of money soon. If you want to attend a workshop on this method, don't delay!
This refreshingly positive book immediately takes away a lot of the suffering, and the judgments, for both "sides", at least in the earlier stages. We cannot (yet) speak about later stages but we feel SO different about the situation after reading this book - we've now read a great deal about memory matters and can vouch for the fact that no "expert" in clinical practice has made anything like the kinds of loving and caring PRACTICAL suggestions and procedures spelled out in this book, which we started putting into practice immediately. So what if it seems like "infantilising" the sufferer, who in our experience certainly did not feel we were doing this but who immediately brightened up and was much happier with our new approach.
Unfortunately, there are some situations even this book cannot help us with - how do you deal with an elderly person who is very upset - every single evening - because mother (dead 50 years) is late for supper and who won't accept any of the excuses you dream up?
As indicated in real-life stories given in the book, we also have noticed (from carers sharing stories at support groups) that the sufferer's partner is likely to find it very difficult to accept what is happening or to readily adopt the methods set out in this book. It IS hard to change the relationship habits of a long lifetime and the carer-partner is likely to have health challenges as well, which can make things even more difficult. The book is as much for them as for the direct victim of this horrible, slow-acting plague.
SPECAL, as the method is called, can transform (and has actually done so) some of the experiences of the dementia sufferer and of those around him/her.
LATER NOTE: I recently learned, to my sorrow, that several established dementia organisations now are against SPECAL, although they were originally in favour. As a result, the SPECAL charity expects to run out of money soon. If you want to attend a workshop on this method, don't delay!
14 of 14 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
If you know or live with someone with dementia, you will know how difficult life can be for both of you. I recently came across this insightful book offering advice and techniques devised by a lady called Penny Garner who, by observing her own mother's behaviour and working with patients at a community hospital, developed new skills to communicate with someone with dementia.
The aim of the book is to promote "lifelong well-being" not only for the sufferer but for the "carer" too who has to cope with typical dementia behaviour such as memory blanks and repetitive questioning. Being asked the same question over and over again in a matter of minutes can be devastating for all concerned as I've experienced first hand with my own 85 year old mother.
Penny Garner's son-in-law, Oliver James, has brought together various tried-and-tested techniques in this book. One I've found particularly useful is to identify the most frequent questions my Mum asks me. Then, instead of giving the same reply each time, the book suggests looking for a variety of answers and trying them out to find the one that receives the best reaction. What I like about this approach is that it keeps me focussed on the quality of my own responses and whilst it hasn't completely stopped me feeling frustrated at the constant repetition, it has helped me better understand my Mum's mental processes affected by dementia.
The aim of the book is to promote "lifelong well-being" not only for the sufferer but for the "carer" too who has to cope with typical dementia behaviour such as memory blanks and repetitive questioning. Being asked the same question over and over again in a matter of minutes can be devastating for all concerned as I've experienced first hand with my own 85 year old mother.
Penny Garner's son-in-law, Oliver James, has brought together various tried-and-tested techniques in this book. One I've found particularly useful is to identify the most frequent questions my Mum asks me. Then, instead of giving the same reply each time, the book suggests looking for a variety of answers and trying them out to find the one that receives the best reaction. What I like about this approach is that it keeps me focussed on the quality of my own responses and whilst it hasn't completely stopped me feeling frustrated at the constant repetition, it has helped me better understand my Mum's mental processes affected by dementia.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
Contented dementia
I would highly recommend this book to anyone caring and nursing somebody with dementia. It gives a great insight and a better understanding of how to care and avoid all the... Read more
Published 1 month ago by Ian3374
Contentment achieved
This book has completely changed the way myself and my siblings are managing to cope with my mother's dementia. Read more
Published 1 month ago by suki ture
A little bit more time with my grandmother
I live a long way from my Grandmother - sadly I only see her about once a month. She was diagnosed with dementia about 6 months ago. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Squawky parrot
Excellent book, Clay O'Shea talks about using this in real life.
Clay O'Shea talks real about dealing with two years of his mother's dementia by using the techniques outlined in this book. This is a must watch for feedback on these techniques! Read more
Published 3 months ago by Brian Rose
A must for anyone with a a dad or mum going quietly bonkers
We found this book to be a really fantastic help in understanding how we could support my wifes declining mum who has dementia. Read more
Published 4 months ago by Adrian Foster
Contented Dementia
Book perfect for research for University course. The book contained good information and met all the needs required. Would recommend.
Published 5 months ago by Phil
Anything that helps with dementia has gotta be a plus
This book was recommended to me by one of the staff on the hospital ward where my mother was recently a patient. Read more
Published 5 months ago by Ms. C. E. Barrett
Thoughtful Method!
Well worth reading, as the method which leads to the SPECAL approach, is an excellent way to progress. Read more
Published 5 months ago by Douglas C. Johns
Contented Dementia
I saw this book advertised in an eventing magazine and as I was at my wit's end with my mother's frequent, bizarre and angry phone calls I decided to purchase it. Read more
Published 6 months ago by olliebear
Contented Carers!
Thirty years as a GP did not prepare me for the challenge of caring for my mother with advanced demantia. This book gave me a lifeline and a method that works! Read more
Published 7 months ago by Janice
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