Practical, helpful, sensitive, comforting, illuminating, brilliant, constructive - yes, it is all that, and more. Don't take (too much) notice of the negative reviewers as you really shouldn't miss this book. Infused with compassion and kindness (RARE qualities these days), the advice was developed by someone who clearly has a talent for non-confrontation and small talk, both of which it is wise to learn early on in your loved one's journey of confusion. Whether it is called dementia, alzheimer, memory loss, forgetfulness doesn't matter to those of us who are in pain watching our loved one deteriorate and struggle with their new and unfamiliar circumstances, and who want to find ways to make it hurt less - for them as well as ourselves.
This refreshingly positive book immediately takes away a lot of the suffering, and the judgments, for both "sides", at least in the earlier stages. We cannot (yet) speak about later stages but we feel SO different about the situation after reading this book - we've now read a great deal about memory matters and can vouch for the fact that no "expert" in clinical practice has made anything like the kinds of loving and caring PRACTICAL suggestions and procedures spelled out in this book, which we started putting into practice immediately. So what if it seems like "infantilising" the sufferer, who in our experience certainly did not feel we were doing this but who immediately brightened up and was much happier with our new approach.
Unfortunately, there are some situations even this book cannot help us with - how do you deal with an elderly person who is very upset - every single evening - because mother (dead 50 years) is late for supper and who won't accept any of the excuses you dream up?
As indicated in real-life stories given in the book, we also have noticed (from carers sharing stories at support groups) that the sufferer's partner is likely to find it very difficult to accept what is happening or to readily adopt the methods set out in this book. It IS hard to change the relationship habits of a long lifetime and the carer-partner is likely to have health challenges as well, which can make things even more difficult. The book is as much for them as for the direct victim of this horrible, slow-acting plague.
SPECAL, as the method is called, can transform (and has actually done so) some of the experiences of the dementia sufferer and of those around him/her.
LATER NOTE: I recently learned, to my sorrow, that several established dementia organisations now are against SPECAL, although they were originally in favour. As a result, the SPECAL charity expects to run out of money soon. If you want to attend a workshop on this method, don't delay!