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Confessions of a Chatroom Freak [Hardcover]

Mr Biffo
4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
RRP: 10.99
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Book Description

4 May 2007
'Almost dangerously hilarious. A ridiculous book that fails in
every aspect but one: being the funniest thing in the world' - Tim Moore,
author of French Revolutions and Do Not Pass Go.

The Internet: the greatest aid to communication in human history, a
repository of mankind's accumulated wisdom, and a global community where
free speech reigns. But mostly it's a family sized bucket of filth.

Confessions of a Chatroom Freak contains the lurid transcripts of genuine
conversations between beautiful chatroom addict LoopyLisa21f and a
succession of would-be suitors.

By turns disturbing, hilarious, and surreal, Confessions of a Chatroom
freak reveals what our friends and colleagues really get up to online - and
then confuses the hell out of them.

After Confessions of a Chatroom Freak you'll never engage in cybersex

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Product details

  • Hardcover: 328 pages
  • Publisher: The Friday Project Limited (4 May 2007)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1905548516
  • ISBN-13: 978-1905548514
  • Product Dimensions: 21 x 13.8 x 2.4 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 170,948 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

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Product Description

About the Author

When he's not laying honey traps for aroused, lonely men, Mr
Biffo is usually a BAFTA-nominated screenwriter called Paul Rose.

He has written for everything from EastEnders to Sooty, and was a lead
writer on cult children's series My Parents Are Aliens. He is currently
writing for a number of original TV comedies.

As Mr Biffo, he created, edited and wrote the legendary Teletext videogames
magazine Digitiser. He owns several wigs.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

LoopyLisa21f: Can I ask you something, dear?

PhilPhil69: wot?

LoopyLisa21f: When you say I look like a man, you're not actually saying
I'm ugly though, are you?

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Put down the Internet and walk away 25 Jan 2008
If you've ever engaged in electronic flirting (dot matrix frottage, or "dottage" to the youngsters, I believe) you'll know that sometimes people you meet on the Internet aren't what they seem. For a start, nearly all of them are illiterate and many do not have even a basic knowledge of human anatomy.

Thankfully, LoopyLisa21f is not one of those people. Possessed of a graphic ability to describe all the body's orifaces and the various fluids that come out or go into them, this is her life story online. Like the films Hard Candy, You've Got Mail or Indiana Jones And The Lost Weekend Of IRC, this story demonstrates the horror that unfurls when a bit of harmless computer banter is allowed to escalate into a bit of more harmful computer banter.

Mr Biffo has constructed an excellent expositional study into the metatexuality of modern social function, interactivity and communications paradigms. This is an entertaining novel that will have you.
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I bought this book because a) I was drunk, and b) it was a penny (plus p+p).

Luckily, it's the best penny (plus p+p) I've ever spent.

Follow the adventures of LoopyLisa21f, a young, soon-to-qualify primary school teacher, as she bats off potential suitors from all 4 corners of the wwweb with stories of her bad friend Craig, her unhinged father and some extraordinarily badly-lit, unflattering photos.
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7 of 11 people found the following review helpful
By Phil
Trust me when I say that this is one of the funniest books I read recently. Never has a trawl through the slightly sordid world of internet-chat rooms been so amusing, thanks to the off-kilter mind of LoopyLisa21F (aka Mr Biffo).

This adopted persona manages to confuse, tempt, bewilder her virtual-suitors, bringing their best laid plans of potential cybersex crashing down in a ball of surrealness that had me quite literally, slumped on a desk, crying with laughter, tears in my eyes, snot dribbling out my nose while fighting for breath. Not a pretty sight, but still a glowing testement to how funny this is.
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10 of 16 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars I wanted to laugh... but was bored. 29 May 2007
I have to admit I haven't yet read the second half of 'Confessions of a chatroom freak' as having reached half way i've become bored with Loopy Lisa!

The series of exchanges with would-be suitors starts brightly enough, but each subsequent encounter becomes formulaic and predictable until the point at which I lost interest. As an impulse purchase this was a disappointment.
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6 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Super! 2 May 2007
I had the (good) misfortune of reading this book where I work, mostly as an assistant in an art gallery and found it nearly impossible to repress sudden and alarming fits of laughter, which I had to try and disguise as choking and sneezing.

Well done Mr Biffo! I thouroughly enjoyed your book. Some of my favourite bits were - the rabbi whose hat and shoes fly off with a honk, the dungarees fastened with pencils, and Craig. But mostly, it is the innocence of LoopyLisa which comes through in her chats to some generally very pervy men.
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2 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Genius 10 Oct 2007
By Chris
Made me laugh a hell of a lot. Without a doubt one of the funniest books I've ever read. Mr Biffo writes like nobody else. It's surreal, rude, bizarre, and it seems to make a point and work on a few different levels, being both puerile, yet becoming strangely quite touching as it goes along.
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3 of 6 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Very ordinary 26 Oct 2007
This author is not half as funny as he thinks he is. I waded through pages and pages of self-satisfied ramblings in the hope that some jewel might emerge.

It didn't. Don't bother.
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0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Laugh out loud (LOL) genius!!! 31 Aug 2011
By Debs911
This is such a funny book, it's now my favourite ever!!!

It's not however, for prudes or those with no sense of humour.

Do not read if easily offended!!!

Do read if you love a good laugh!!!!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Horrifically Enlightening
One of those books of which you think, 'Of course! It's obvious! I could have done that!' Well yes, but you didn't, did you? Mr. Read more
Published on 3 Jun 2008 by Aloysius Jumbo
1.0 out of 5 stars Dull, dull, dull, dull, dull...
I can sum up this book in one word, "dull." Not only does it claim to be something that it's not, it's incredibly predictable and repetitive. Read more
Published on 28 April 2008 by C. Macdonald
5.0 out of 5 stars Pure Lovely Insanity!
I must confess that I am a late comer to the idea of chatrooms. When I first stumbled onto the Internet, the idea of chatting to people I didn't know held little to no appeal for... Read more
Published on 1 Jan 2008 by Jamieson Villeneuve
5.0 out of 5 stars Freaking Fantastic
While many books may claim to be laugh-out-loud funny, the truth is few come even remotely close to this comedy masterpiece. Quite simply hilarious from start to finish. Read more
Published on 12 Nov 2007 by G. Lambert
5.0 out of 5 stars Love it!
Clearly a love it or hate it sort of book, but I do think some people are slightly missing the point. Read more
Published on 27 Oct 2007 by Vitamin C .
1.0 out of 5 stars Dull and unispired
This book consists of pages and pages of largely lifeless dialogue with barely a funny moment to compensate for the effort of ploughing through it. Read more
Published on 7 Oct 2007 by Sam Clifford
5.0 out of 5 stars Do not read whilst eating unless you want a new paint effect on your...
As someone old enough never to have been near a chatroom, Mr Biffo's book was an enlightening read.

LoopyLisa21, a primary school teacher looking for love, manages to... Read more
Published on 26 May 2007 by BiscuitOfTheBoo
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