Committed
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'A writer of incandescent talent.' Annie Proulx
Product Description
At the end of her bestselling memoir Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert fell in love with Felipe - a Brazilian-born man of Australian citizenship who'd been living in Indonesia when they met. Resettling in America, the couple swore eternal fidelity to each other, but also swore to never, ever, under any circumstances get legally married. (Both survivors of difficult divorces. Enough said.) But providence intervened one day in the form of the U.S. government, who - after unexpectedly detaining Felipe at an American border crossing - gave the couple a choice: they could either get married, or Felipe would never be allowed to enter the country again. Having been effectively sentenced to wed, Gilbert tackled her fears of marriage by delving completely into this topic, trying with all her might to discover (through historical research, interviews and much personal reflection) what this stubbornly enduring old institution actually is. The result is Committed - a witty and intelligent contemplation of marriage that debunks myths, unthreads fears and suggests that sometimes even the most romantic of souls must trade in her amorous fantasies for the humbling responsibility of adulthood. Gilbert's memoir - destined to become a cherished handbook for any thinking person hovering on the verge of marriage - is ultimately a clear-eyed celebration of love, with all the complexity and consequence that real love, in the real world, actually entails.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
17 of 17 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Insightful,
By
This review is from: Committed: A Sceptic Makes Peace with Marriage (Paperback)
I could relate to this book because I also felt the same about marriage. Once divorced, I couldn't imagine wanting to get married again ever. But I was faced with a similar situation in my relationship. I did not qualify to stay in Italy with my boyfriend and try and "make a life with him" so we were forced to get married for Immigration purposes.Gilbert's search for the meaning of marriage is interesting because she explores other cultural traditions and opinions and leaves you with a feeling of utter confusion. I would like to think that this was a bit on purpose because it exemplifies exactly what she is struggling with, which is not wanting to fall into the North American dillusion that another person "completes us". As North Americans we have a tendency to "romanticize" about love and marriage and yet this book hits the nail on the head from any "Government State" perspective around the world, which is marriage is meant to keep some sort of order in the world and community. But, at the same time, the rules of "engagement" is a shifting platform with the integration of education for women in otherwise secluded villages, the virtual world of the Internet, affordable travel and Expatriate societies sprouting up everywhere. Gilbert never loses sight of the emotions she feels for her spouse (good and bad), but as a woman, she struggles with her sense of self and independence. She has taken a leap of faith indeed, but isn't everything in life worth having a bit of a leap of faith? This book left me with a feeling that Gilbert's plight is not a solitary one. She has spoken for many in this everchanging world we live in. It's inspirational to know that she was not going to take orders from the State sitting down.
57 of 61 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Patchy, but ultimately satisfying,
By
This review is from: Committed: A Sceptic Makes Peace with Marriage (Paperback)
Like so many others, I was curious to know what happened to Elizabeth and her Brazilian lover Felipe after Eat, Pray, Love ended. As the book opens they are still happily together, but with no intention of marrying. It becomes clear however that they will not be able to live together in the US unless they are married. (Or as Elizabeth puts it, they are "sentenced to marry by the Homeland Security Department").This book is about how they spend most of the next year traveling in Asia waiting for Felipe's visa to process and for much of this time that Elizabeth researches the concept of marriage. So the book is part love story, part travelogue and part history. Or again as Elizabeth puts it, a memoir (with extra socio-historical bonus sections!) about her efforts to make peace with the institution of marriage. The results are patchy. The historical/sociological parts are well written and interesting enough, but after a while it feels too much like a lecture. (Especially when Elizabeth puts her case for same sex marriages. I have no issue with her views, but neither am I very interested in them). It's when she's describing her own experiences that Gilbert's writing really shines. There are wonderful accounts of encounters with the local people in Laos, Cambodia and Vietnam and I was also totally absorbed in her relationship with Felipe which she describes in a very honest and moving way. While she still has the same chatty and open writing style (which is very easy to read), she comes across as more mature and less self-absorbed this time around. I'm not sure this book will stay with me in the way that Eat, Pray, Love did, but it was a satisfying read that did also make me think more about my own views on marriage.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Disappointing and self-indulgent,
By
This review is from: Committed: A Love Story (Paperback)
This is not a novel, it is an etude of marriage wtritten by an increasingly self-obsessed author, who has time and money to travel around the world to get her head around the "insurmountable" concept of marriage. She makes an issue out of absolutely nothing. You either want to get married and commit to the person you love or you don't. Sure she's been stung by a tricky divorce but it could have been much worse - there were no kids involved, it just hurt like hell. I'm afraid that can happen and it's called adult life.And shock, horror, the grand revelation of this book is that marriage has been perceived differently over the years and continues to be viewed differently across the globe...purrlease tell me something I didn't know! It is different from couple to couple for heaven's sake. The book is weak and extremely irritating. I was so looking forward to it as I loved "Eat, Pray, Love". I thought that book was a brave voyage of discovery shared intimately with the reader and very well written. This on the other hand is a "nothingness". I found myself wanting to shake Elizabeth Gilbert and shout "get a grip". The book is one long navel-gazing study of why the author can't have it all. It is adolescent in its naivety.
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