Clash of Empires: Battle for Asia [DVD]

Oh boy, I thought I had plumbed the depths already, but this one goes down all the way to the bottom of the Phillipine trench, which is not so far away from Malaysia where this utter dross was made. All sounded fairly promising. A film very loosely based on the 16th century Malay chronicles about a Roman prince who travels east to marry a Chinese princess of the Han dynasty. An East meets West historical extravaganza along the lines of Valerio Massimo Manfredi's book "Empire of the Dragons", or so I forlornly hoped. What I got was very different! I won't give any detailed synopsis, because I simply don't want to waste my time reviewing such utter rubbish. I wasted quite enough watching it! Lets just say everything about the film is dire, which sums it up nicely. It was apparently Malaysia's second most expensive film ever. What a terrible waste of money. The acting is worse than that in my village panto. The plot is non existent. The action is about the worst I have ever seen, with special effects that beggar belief for all the wrong reasons. The fact that I watched this film to the end is testament to my stubborn streak, that merges seamlessly into stupidity. I have never watched a Malaysian film, and after this experience it is doubtful I will ever watch another. After watching a few decent films recently it was back to reality with a vengeance. Don't be fooled by the cover. As usual be guided by the Amazon star rating which is never too far away from the truth. It does not even fall into the Ed Wood "its so bad it has to be good" category. Just do yourself a favour and avoid wasting 107 minutes of your life. Surely this film deserves to sweep the honours at the Golden Turkey awards. This is a 21 carat doozy!

This is not a good film, however I am going to try to be objective. It is based on The Malay Chronicles from the 16th Century, which are pretty much myth and if you approach this as a sort of swords and sandals `Sinbad' then from certain viewer's points of view this may have some merit.

It supposedly tells the story of the uniting of the Han Chinese Empire and the Roman Empire of Hadrian, a Roman `Prince' is sent to marry a Chinese `Princess' and they are to meet in Malaysia via Goa, where the hapless Romans have to enlist the aid of a sea rover (Merong Mahawangsa) who claims to be descended from Alexander the Great. Once they get to this place of the `joining of empires' and a 'great trading centre'(a beach with a few bits of bamboo) where this ceremony is to take place, things start to go wrong.

If you have stuck with it thus far there is then a big fight, which is basically what this movie is selling itself as, a fight fest. I don't want to spoil the `plot' but needless to say after many, many plot holes there is some more fight scenes. I watched this with my nephew and one of his friends and they thought it was `awesome' etc. I begged to differ citing the historical, factual, material and language inaccuracies, all to no avail. That I think is the point, if you are prepared to suspend belief and forget even basic historical knowledge, then there is an average fight fest type of film trying to get out. The cover does mention the special effects as `stunning' well to have believed that you probably would needed to have been `stunned' possibly with a taser.

Also there really is not a `clash of empires'; more like a fight over some rock in the Pacific Ocean, so pretty much setting itself up for a fall straight away. It was to be called `The Malay Chronicles' which would have been more honest, but we all know that war sells. Also the sleeve claims that Alexander the great was `a renowned naval captain and traveller...' There was me thinking he was a sort of Emporer, General and looked like Colin Farrel, glad they put me straight.

The CGI is quite good in places, but the speeded up action scenes are a missed opportunity, the acting is wooden to faux melodrama and the sets are a bit `make do and mend'. The de rigueur man on man combat does go on interminably; I am always amazed that in a battle where everyone is `tooled up' that the two main protagonists decide to go for a bit of martial arts fisty cuffs, just stab him already. At 107 minutes this did seem like a chore, but it does have an audience, I just think with a 15 rating they have accidentally excluded most of them.

This is one of those films where the cover art makes you think that the film might be better than the reviews, that the reviewers might be snobs!?

Nope!

It is one of the worst films i have ever seen, i cant even think where to go with the appaling costumes, the terrible sets, the amazingly bad acting.... Im amazed that money was ever spent on something so utterly without any sign of redemption.

no stars zero... in fact minus stars for this film... really soo so ooo bad... do not buy this film.