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The Chump Lady Survival Guide to Infidelity: How to Regain Your Sanity After You've Been Cheated On [Kindle Edition]

Tracy Schorn
4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (34 customer reviews)

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Book Description

The Chump Lady Survival Guide to Infidelity is for anyone who has ever been played for a fool, lied to, and left as carrion for the divorce lawyers.

Here's a book about infidelity that is not about saving your marriage single-handedly -- it's about saving your sanity.

Based on the writings from her popular blog "Chump Lady," Tracy Schorn's guide is the decoder ring you need to translate the manipulations of cheaters. Full of advice, gallows humor, and cartoons deflating the pomposity of cheaters, this is your step-by-step guide to navigate your way out of this nightmare.

Product Description

About the Author

Tracy Schorn is a blogger, cartoonist, and journalist, as well as a former chump.

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 1531 KB
  • Print Length: 126 pages
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00LBFO6Z8
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (34 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #72,792 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

4.9 out of 5 stars
4.9 out of 5 stars
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
18 of 19 people found the following review helpful
I discovered my ex's affair in 2010 which was unfortunately a couple of years before the chumplady was on the scene.

I went to individual counseling, marriage counseling and scoured books and infidelity websites and they all had one thing in common: I needed to own up to my part in the affair my ex had??? Um, hello! I wasn't there! I didn't tie him up and and force someone to land on his genitals. Not to mention that he was more than happy to pin his bad behavior on me too and it all just felt so wrong.

I knew in my heart our reconciliation was not genuine but I couldn't put it into words. Then I stumbled upon the chumplady; ironically from a link posted on a "Reconciliation Industrial Complex" site. It was like someone performed a cranial extraction from my rectum because that's clearly where my head was up to that point. She keeps it very simple and finally helped me understand why everything the RIC was feeding me was so wrong: Cheaters choose to cheat when there are many other honest options. They could've spoken up about their unhappiness, work with their spouse to fix the things that aren't working and then if all of the above don't work-ask for a divorce. Instead cheaters make unilateral decisions about our health and finances and a multitude of other things and keep us in the dark. It's abuse -plain and simple, black and white.

Anyone who tries to tell you different is more than likely cheating themselves.

Her book is a collection of the advice she's given over the past couple of years, along with some great new advice. It's succinct and puts some common sense in an area that has lacked it for a long time.
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17 of 18 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Life Saver 30 Jun. 2014
As a regular reader of her blog, I value her standpoint. I was beguiled by my own wishful thinking about my marriage and my ex-partner's campaign of confusion. It's an ongoing process but I've gone from a kind of paralysis to a growing optimism about my life. It's nothing short of amazing that her USP is a focus on our own value rather than being sucked into servicing someone else's deceitful narrative. Those who focus on her "potty mouth" need to put things into perspective. For some of us, those "potty" words are only in the book; many of our exes stifled any dissent. It is liberating to hear someone being angry on our behalf. Thanks to Tracy. "Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" I have mine back.
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15 of 16 people found the following review helpful
How I wish this book existed when I found our my (now ex) husband was cheating on me! I bought other books dealing with infidelity that advised being understanding and patient so that cheaters can have the time and support to stop their affairs, and followed that advice, all the time thinking that if only I followed that advice exactly, my marriage would be saved.

I did that. In my situation, it only led to my being taken advantage of even more.

Not only does The Chump Lady Survival Guide to Infidelity get you through the roughest days after discovering that you've been cheated on, but it also helps you to see the patterns of behavior that cheaters have, so that you know what to expect if you stay with a cheater, or know what to look for if you move on.

Simply put, the advice in this survival guide works.
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18 of 19 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Definite must read 29 Jun. 2014
Finally a book that tells the truth! This is a definite must-read!
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12 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars What you REALLY need to know about infidelity 23 July 2014
If there's one thing North Americans are good at, it's pretending that misfortune is a Good Thing That Can Make Your Life Better. Got cancer? You're a survivor. Been laid off? This is your chance to make a new life. Lost thousands of your citizens in a seemingly pointless foreign war? USA! USA! Been cheated on? Your marriage is about to get a whole lot better.

You know what? Misfortune CAN be the first step in building a new life, but first you have to acknowledge that it is misfortune. If you're experiencing the pain of finding out that your partner has been unfaithful, about the only writer out there who won't just hand you a line about the whole messy, awful business of having been a chump to your partner's sleazy con is, surprisingly, an American -- Michigan-born Tracy Schorn.

Schorn's blog has been a godsend to many (including me) who've found that the assumption most infidelity books starts with - that the cheater really cares about the pain they've deliberately inflicted - is just plain incorrect. In The Chump Lady Guide to Surviving Infidelity, Schorn expands on her blog writing to give her readers the information and encouragement they need to start a new life - one that doesn't include their cheater.

Yeah, you read that right. Schorn, unlike the vast majority of "infidelity experts" doesn't assume that you should try to "fix your marriage." If you've been abused by a teacher, a boss or a business associate, you don't try to fix the relationship: you get the hell out of it. The abuse of infidelity, and the connected lying, blame shifting and emotional cruelty is no different. Schorn, who is herself a former chump, writes with a combination of humour, vitriol for the cheater and deep compassion for the cheated on. If you've been cheated on and are wondering what on earth happened and what you can do about it, you won't find a better guide than Tracy Schorn.

You can get a taste of her writing at
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars This is the only book you need on infidelity
This book should be mandatory reading for everyone who has been cheated on. Tracy Schon not only describes the chump/cheater experience incredibly accurately (my cheating ex... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Constant Reader
5.0 out of 5 stars The best book on infidelity by a long mile.
Brilliant book - absolutely original, readable and much-needed. Chump Lady has written a guide which makes sense of the ball of misery and confusion that happens to a person when... Read more
Published 5 months ago by Mrs E. Eccles
5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic read!
For a refreshing approach to cheaters- please read this! highly recommended and will give you courage just like it did for me in such a horrid time in my life,
Published 6 months ago by Lou Lou
5.0 out of 5 stars Tracy Schorn is on your side and will show you why you did not force...
This is the only book to read when you find out your partner is having an affair. Tracy Schorn is on your side and will show you why you did not force the cheater to behave like... Read more
Published 6 months ago by Fijigirl
5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic book for anyone recovering from infidelity
Fantastic book for anyone recovering from infidelity. Pithy, funny, and a little vulgar - it's like getting advice from that friend who always tells you the truth and always has... Read more
Published 7 months ago by L. S. Cook
5.0 out of 5 stars It's amazing how little real support and understanding there is for...
If you are reading this review, chances are you've been cheated on, or know someone who has. Be kind to yourself. Buy this book, visit the website. Read more
Published 7 months ago by Jayne McCulloch
5.0 out of 5 stars Thank you
I found this book an amazing source of support and understanding throughout my chump experience. Thank you so much x
Published 8 months ago by Gillian Dorans
5.0 out of 5 stars Love this book!!!
I wish I would have read Tracy's book years ago! She is real about why reconciliation with a cheater isn't likely to happen!!! Read more
Published 9 months ago by Amy Davis
5.0 out of 5 stars So glad it's in the U
Arrived this morning. I couldn't put it down! So glad it's in the U.K. I have bought so many self help books. Read more
Published 9 months ago by Ms Sally Jackson
5.0 out of 5 stars The whole truth and nothing but the truth
Tracy Schorn writes the truth and truth rings out of every page with a clarity that banishes all the squeaky noises from cheaters and exposes them for the uncreative bunch they... Read more
Published 9 months ago by Clogs
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