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Children of the Self-absorbed: A Grown-up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents
 
 

Children of the Self-absorbed: A Grown-up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents (Paperback)

by Nina W. Brown (Author)
3.7 out of 5 stars See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
RRP: £16.50
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Customers buy this book with When You and Your Mother Can't be Friends by Victoria Secunda

Children of the Self-absorbed: A Grown-up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents + When You and Your Mother Can't be Friends
Price For Both: £23.48

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Product details

  • Paperback: 250 pages
  • Publisher: New Harbinger Publications,U.S.; 2nd Ed edition (1 May 2008)
  • Language English
  • ISBN-10: 1572245611
  • ISBN-13: 978-1572245617
  • Product Dimensions: 22.8 x 15.2 x 1.2 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
  • Amazon.co.uk Sales Rank: 63,508 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

    Popular in this category:

    #45 in  Books > Health, Family & Lifestyle > Psychology & Psychiatry > Pathological Psychology

Product Description

Synopsis
Being a parent is usually all about giving of yourself to foster your child's growth and development. But what happens when this isn't the case? Some parents dismiss the needs of their children, asserting their own instead, demanding attention and reassurance from even very young children. This may especially be the case when a parent has narcissistic tendencies or narcissistic personality disorder. From the author of "Working with the Self-Absorbed and Loving the Self-Absorbed", this major revision of a self-help classic offers readers a step-by-step approach to resolving conflict and building a meaningful relationship with a narcissistic parent."Children of the Self-Absorbed, Second Edition", offers clear definitions of narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder to help readers identify the extent of their parent's problem. Readers learn the different types of destructive narcissism and how to recognize their effects on relationships. With the aid of proven techniques, readers are assured that they are not helpless against their parent's behavior, and that they needn't consider giving up on the relationship.

Instead, realistic strategies and steps are suggested for learning to set mutually agreed upon behaviors that can help fulfill the needs and expectations of both readers and their parents.


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Children of the Self-absorbed: A Grown-up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents
43% buy the item featured on this page:
Children of the Self-absorbed: A Grown-up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents 3.7 out of 5 stars (3)
£12.49
When You and Your Mother Can't be Friends
27% buy
When You and Your Mother Can't be Friends 4.8 out of 5 stars (11)
£10.99
Narcissism: Denial of the True Self
14% buy
Narcissism: Denial of the True Self 3.9 out of 5 stars (8)
£5.99
The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment
8% buy
The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment 4.6 out of 5 stars (7)
£24.64

 

Customer Reviews

3 Reviews
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4 star:
 (2)
3 star:
 (1)
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Average Customer Review
3.7 out of 5 stars (3 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

 
91 of 92 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars A bit simplistic and disappointing, 5 Feb 2003
By A Customer
With both my parents fitting the narcissism profile, I was eager to read this book as it was billed as being one of the best. The first two or three chapters, on how to recognise narcissistic behaviour and the reactions that narcissism tends to provoke in other people, were really excellent, but the rest of the book I found pretty disappointing.

The author has some frankly bizarre ideas about what empathy is (which is a bit worrying, considering she's supposed to be a therapist!). The "how to empathise" section tells you to pick a feeling (any feeling) that you yourself might feel in someone else's place, and then state to that person "You are feeling ...". The example she gives is that of a student asking "Should we study for the test?", and the teacher responding, "You are feeling overwhelmed and you have too much to do to study for the test". This isn't empathy, it's projection of one person's feelings onto another! Empathy is the ability to find out and respect what another person actually does feel, regardless of whether you yourself would feel that way in their place (e.g. actually asking a student whether they feel overwhelmed, not just grandly stating that this is what they feel!)

Also I found the exercises in the book a bit simplistic. This would be a good book for anyone just looking for ways to "keep the peace" with an N-parent, but for insight and healing I'd really recommend "When You And Your Mother Can't Be Friends" by Victoria Secunda instead.

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24 of 24 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Children of the Self Absorbed, 12 Jul 2006
By A Reader "Flo" (Birmingham, UK) - See all my reviews
At the age of 41 and after much self-examination I finally have answers to so many questions I have had for so many years. This book has helped me more than any other I have read to put my life into perspective and explain who I am, where I have come from and what has made me the person I am from a psychological perspective. As the daughter of a narcissistic mother I feel I finally have the insight I need to address some of the most challenging and difficult aspects of my life. In this book almost every paragraph spoke volumes to me and explained so much of my past life. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. In the next edition please explain how same sex and different sex relationships between parents and children may alter the impact of the DNP.
A Reader, UK
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16 of 16 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Helpful, 20 Mar 2007
I liked this book more than some others on the subject as it dealt with aspects of self-development and the future, rather than just helping to identify the problem. Before reading it, I had reached the decision that I would never see my parents again but I can now see several ways to deal with their behaviour if I meet them at family events. This can be useful if you want to continue to have a relationship with other family members who don't realise that there is a problem.
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