Chastened is the story of how 30-odd Observer journalist Hepzibah Anderson gives up sex for a year, in an attempt to instead find love.
All of this sounds like a worthy cause, you might think, or at the very least an interesting change of routine - except that while she may forgo penetrative sex (as she admits, this is a very subjective definition of sex), she fails to give up the painfully toxic relationship that she embarked upon her year of chastity in order to avoid. Descriptions of disappointing encounters with her -frankly creepy sounding- commitment-phobic lover unfortunately make up the bulk of this book. I suppose she deserves some credit for writing about this in such intimate detail, as it's like watching a car crash - you know and she clearly knows that it's doomed- yet time after time she doesn't pull herself away. But this failure to learn from mistakes makes for neither instructive nor particularly interesting reading.
Anderson claims that her year of celibacy left her feeling freer and more sure of what she wanted from a relationship - but this assertion is massively devalued by the fact that she focuses her attention almost exclusively on a succession of indistinguishable, but all slightly older men (she helpfully gives them vomit-worthy nicknames such as "Mr Vermilion" so you can tell them apart), to whom she time after time fails completely in communicating her desires.
The experience of reading Chastened is hardly improved by Ms Anderson's writing, which is simultaneously incredibly flowery and quite directionless, peppered with many a laboured metaphor, over-long passage of description and banal, out-of context quote. By the middle of the book, one gets used to the fact that both the book and her attempts at self-reflection are rapidly going nowhere and it becomes a quick read, with the predictable ending that -literally- on the anniversary of her "vow" she jumps straight into bed with someone she already has doubts about.
However I feel a tiny bit wiser for having read this book, as the sheer boringness of her self-obsessed waffling has inspired me to stop thinking about my own relationships -or lack thereof- and get on with enjoying the more important things in life.