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Drawing on thirty years of clinical experience, Bill O Hanlon one of psychotherapy 's most innovative practitioners and teachers examines this simple yet often elusive aspect of successful therapy: change. With his characteristic wit and style, O Hanlon presents the key concepts and most powerful methods for achieving personal transformation. Readers are provided with the perspective and inspiration necessary to embrace the risk and reward of change.
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40 of 49 people found the following review helpful
Delightful
16 Dec 2006
Format:Hardcover
INTRODUCTION
-----------------------
This is a book about overcoming resistance. It is equally applicable to being a self-help book or a book for therapists. O'Hanlon is heavily influenced by the psychiatrist Milton Erickson It is beautifully written and glides under the eye. The quotes that begin each chapter are the best that I have seen.
O'Hanlon has written several books about how to change, such as Do One Thing Differently and Solution Focused Therapy. He himself says that this is the best book of his to buy about change because it incorporates things he learnt earlier and put in earlier books. He appears to have backed away from being so solution-focused because doing so is too invalidating.
SUMMARY
----------------
INTRODUCTION
Erikson wrote that there were "seething forces of change" within people.
1. NEVER TRY TO TEACH A PIG TO SING: FINDING THE MOTIVATION AND ENERGY TO CHANGE
The anatomy of change
* Negative past motivation
o Diagnosis: mostly talk about past pain or dislikes (similar pattern for others)
o Person might be more motivated by their wounds than by their bliss, such as being told not good enough by school guidance counsellor
o Rx: "How does that hurt motivate you re the problem you brought in?"
o Rx: Find out how they changed and how they stayed stuck
o Rx: Link Rx with avoiding the problems again. Can always link all the special senses, thoughts, emotions, behaviours and environments of problems
* Negative present motivation
o When people are first admitted, they might be most motivated to change
o Alcoholic hitting bottom
o Rx: Find out what they don't like about the current situation and link this to the behaviour change
* Negative future motivation
o Rx: "Imagine, it is five years from now and you have/are still... How does that feel." / "You're 90 years old..."
o Rx: What potential futures do you want to avoid?
* Positive past motivation
o Rx: Find what worked in the past
o Rx: Find positive memories from the past
o Rx: Find what changes they made because of what they brought from the past
* Positive present motivation
o Rx: Get more of the same
o Rx: "We don't want to throw out the baby with the bathwater, so can you tell me about some parts of your life that are going well?"
o Rx: Use the current positive coping mechanisms
o Erickson prompted his son to think of dust on the basement floor as opposing armies
* Positive future motivation
o The optimists did not survive prisoner of war camps because they thought they would be freed by a particular date.
o What futures would one really like to have happen, then work backwards, then find out what the person would do now
o Can be linked with negative current motivation
Sometimes, the person pushing for change is not the one in the office, so you need to engage the patient with the person with the motivation. For example, writing to tell the court that the offender recons they do not have any problems.
You can create motivation by letting people experience the consequences of their action.
In order to motivate people, you might need to change people's environment.
Clarify the patient's concerns, complaints and suffering into problems.
Goals: "How will you know when you have gotten what you came for? How will they know when you have made the changes they want you to make."
Focus of therapy
* Complaint, by who
* Goals
o First signs of progress (in video talk)
o Final actions or results
o How to know when finished
2. THE JOURNEY OF 1000 MILES: THE SMALL-STEPS METHOD OF CHANGE
Bigger changes are harder and disrupt the person's environment. You could try something three times before giving up. Roger Bannister did not try to run under a certain time, but reduce his time by 1/16 second each race.
Strategies for small steps: 1 identify the problem, 2 do experiments, 3 change actions and/or point of view.
Find the smallest thing they could and would do. Or, make small commitments of time. Change point of view a little, for example, by giving oneself credit for one thing each day.
Pair the behaviour with something pleasurable.
3. THE SAME DAMN THING: THE BREAKING-PATTERNS METHOD OF CHANGE
Think of problems as patterns rather than things. Observe the pattern. Change the pattern rather than try to stop it. The pattern can be emotional, behavioural, cognitive, environmental or biochemical. Erickson would have his patient do something different, for example go to the library instead of stay at home, to break a pattern rather than because he knew what might happen. Example was walking backward up bus steps so too embarrassed to be scared. Another: only criticising spouse when had inhaled helium. Change the behaviour, location, timing or clothing. Another: eat with the non dominant hand to stop overeating. Another: set a timer and do the behaviour for 5 minutes then stop for 5 minutes. Increase the intensity of the behaviour before trying to decrease the intensity of the behaviour; moving ones hands or urinating through a tube(!) Link the problem to something else, such as putting on your new shoes when you go to binge, or, do 50 sit-ups every time you postpone doing the tax.
Notify aspects of the problem situation that are not problems and amplify them. Find competence patterns from another context and transfer them. Mindfulness. Karma is his word for behaviours due to core beliefs. Core beliefs...
What would a person who felt good about them self do in this situation. What would Jesus.
Notice results that recur that you do not like, like being in debt. Investigate your actions, feelings and underlying ideas at that time. Do something different. Repeat until you break the automatic pattern.
Ask yourself: what do you think you can not do, what do you think is the nature of people and the world. What could you do that would be incompatible with the above premise.
4. 52-CARD PICKUP: THE CRISIS METHOD OF CHANGE
Connection, compassion, contribution, wake-up call; response to crisis.
Connection example: Rudi Guiliani,
Contribution example: Mothers Against Drink Driving
Find out what you did last time that worked. What past crises have helped you make positive changes.
5. BLESS MY SOUL: THE MENTOR/MODEL METHOD OF CHANGE
The model can be close or far, what to do or what not to do. People can feel they have been given a blessing when they are told they can do something. Mentors can see potential and give specific guidance. Sting used Jimi Hendrix and Janice Joplin as models of what not to do.
Ask
* What has inspired you?
* Who has believed or believes the best in you?
* Who has encouraged you?
* Who are your role models?
* Who are your negative role models?
* Have you had mentors?
* Have you had any negative mentors?
* Do you know anyone who would handle the situation better than you are handling it?
6. CUSTOM REFRAMING: THE NEW PERSPECTIVE METHOD OF CHANGE
Someone found that deciding a child was Bad, Sad or Mad helped stuck behaviour even if the new perspective was not correct.
Reframing.
Have the patient sense that their situation is changeable rather than set. Can try experiments.
Have the patient focus their attention a little differently, such as
* Change orientation in time
o Past to present, for example, five things that happened that she was grateful for.
o Past to (untraumatising) future.
o Present to past (things she had done well)
o Present to the future
o Future to the past. Example: writing a memoir when the wife recons he lived in the future/dreams
o Future to present. Example: saying one good thing about the current situation when confronted about future.
* Orientation to/from internal to/from external
* Causation to/from internal or external
* View of the permanence of problems
o Assume that there is a time when the problem will be solved and ask how one might have changed or do you remember when one has not been depressed
* Accept rather than try to change
o Paradoxically can help change
o Happy couples often accept that they can not change their spouses
* Express gratitude/recognise what you have that has gone well
* Get a bigger or smaller perspective
o How will it look when you are 90
o What would Jesus say?
Don't believe everything you think: how to challenge and escape the domination of unhelpful thoughts
* You are bigger than your mind: disidentification, externalising, mindfulness
* Challenge thoughts: counter arguments, make slight shifts in self talk.
* Just the facts with observations/sensory-based descriptions
* Accept and soften towards one's thoughts
* Exaggerate one's thoughts until they are absurd or lose their power.
* Get into a dialogue rather than a monologue, for example, with other people or oneself
* Take action and do something incompatible with the unhelpful thought
Ask
* When did you think that the problem could not change?
* What part of the problem are you concentrating on?
* Do you usually concentrate on the past, present or the future?
* Do you have an internal or external locus of control?
* Might it be useful to accept some aspect of what the situation?
* Where could gratitude help?
* Do you need to have a broader or more narrow perspective?
7. RESIDENTIAL PSYCHOANALYSIS: THE RELATIONSHIP PATH TO CHANGE
Imago therapy, but the other person must need to help. Accept the person as they are at their core. Be ruthlessly compassionate but still call them on things. Be patient. Be rigorous about your part in any stuff ups.
8. BECOMING YOURSELF: HOW TO CHANGE BY BECOMING MORE OF YOUR TRUE SELF
"Bill, you are not living on the edges of our earth suite." Once the deforming mirror has been smashed.
Questions to ask yourself
* Do you feel comfortable in yourself, your skin and life?
* Do you feel you are doing the right work?
* Do you feel that you have left some significant pieces of yourself behind or lost them?
* Do you fantasise about running away and starting a new life with a new identity?
* If money and obligations were not issues, what would you be doing in your life?
9. HOW NOT TO CHANGE: ELEVEN STRATEGIES FOR STAYING STUCK, WITH A SPECIAL BONUS SECIONTION ON HOW TO INVITE OTHERS NOT TO CHANGE
1. Don't listen to anybody
2. Listen to everybody
3. Endlessly analyse and don't make changes. On the other hand, perhaps: "Don't just do something, stand there."
4. Blame others for your actions or problems. "We have only one person to blame and that's each other."
5. Blame yourself and put yourself down regularly
6. Keep doing the same things that don't work
7. Keep focusing on the same things when that focus doesn't help
8. Keep thinking the same thoughts when those thoughts don't help
9. Keep putting yourself in the same unhelpful environment
10. Keep relating to the same unhelpful people
11. Put more importance on being right than changing
The bonus section... Blaming people puts them on the defensive. Don't give unasked-for advice, don't address problems the patient does not want addressed. Balance acceptance and demands to change.
Some questions to ask
* Where have you resisted change?
* When have you thought for yourself/being swayed?
* When have you pushed someone else to change and not succeeded.
* When have you created a bad atmosphere?
* When have you been blaming or invalidation others and hoping they would change?
* In what ways have you been reinforcing the idea that the person you are trying to help is a victim and powerless?
* When have you been over supportive and not challenging enough?
CRITICISM
---------------
This is not a comprehensive guide to change. That is expected, as the book concentrates on motivation and morale. To induce change, induce constructional and functional alternative behaviours in steps in the behavioural chain before the challenging behaviours, alter establishing operations, use positive and/or negative rewards and/or punishments, and make the person aware of the new rules. To find out what that means, read Erick Emerson.
The second last line of page 143 should read "... but it has..." and not "... but is has...."
-----------------------
This is a book about overcoming resistance. It is equally applicable to being a self-help book or a book for therapists. O'Hanlon is heavily influenced by the psychiatrist Milton Erickson It is beautifully written and glides under the eye. The quotes that begin each chapter are the best that I have seen.
O'Hanlon has written several books about how to change, such as Do One Thing Differently and Solution Focused Therapy. He himself says that this is the best book of his to buy about change because it incorporates things he learnt earlier and put in earlier books. He appears to have backed away from being so solution-focused because doing so is too invalidating.
SUMMARY
----------------
INTRODUCTION
Erikson wrote that there were "seething forces of change" within people.
1. NEVER TRY TO TEACH A PIG TO SING: FINDING THE MOTIVATION AND ENERGY TO CHANGE
The anatomy of change
* Negative past motivation
o Diagnosis: mostly talk about past pain or dislikes (similar pattern for others)
o Person might be more motivated by their wounds than by their bliss, such as being told not good enough by school guidance counsellor
o Rx: "How does that hurt motivate you re the problem you brought in?"
o Rx: Find out how they changed and how they stayed stuck
o Rx: Link Rx with avoiding the problems again. Can always link all the special senses, thoughts, emotions, behaviours and environments of problems
* Negative present motivation
o When people are first admitted, they might be most motivated to change
o Alcoholic hitting bottom
o Rx: Find out what they don't like about the current situation and link this to the behaviour change
* Negative future motivation
o Rx: "Imagine, it is five years from now and you have/are still... How does that feel." / "You're 90 years old..."
o Rx: What potential futures do you want to avoid?
* Positive past motivation
o Rx: Find what worked in the past
o Rx: Find positive memories from the past
o Rx: Find what changes they made because of what they brought from the past
* Positive present motivation
o Rx: Get more of the same
o Rx: "We don't want to throw out the baby with the bathwater, so can you tell me about some parts of your life that are going well?"
o Rx: Use the current positive coping mechanisms
o Erickson prompted his son to think of dust on the basement floor as opposing armies
* Positive future motivation
o The optimists did not survive prisoner of war camps because they thought they would be freed by a particular date.
o What futures would one really like to have happen, then work backwards, then find out what the person would do now
o Can be linked with negative current motivation
Sometimes, the person pushing for change is not the one in the office, so you need to engage the patient with the person with the motivation. For example, writing to tell the court that the offender recons they do not have any problems.
You can create motivation by letting people experience the consequences of their action.
In order to motivate people, you might need to change people's environment.
Clarify the patient's concerns, complaints and suffering into problems.
Goals: "How will you know when you have gotten what you came for? How will they know when you have made the changes they want you to make."
Focus of therapy
* Complaint, by who
* Goals
o First signs of progress (in video talk)
o Final actions or results
o How to know when finished
2. THE JOURNEY OF 1000 MILES: THE SMALL-STEPS METHOD OF CHANGE
Bigger changes are harder and disrupt the person's environment. You could try something three times before giving up. Roger Bannister did not try to run under a certain time, but reduce his time by 1/16 second each race.
Strategies for small steps: 1 identify the problem, 2 do experiments, 3 change actions and/or point of view.
Find the smallest thing they could and would do. Or, make small commitments of time. Change point of view a little, for example, by giving oneself credit for one thing each day.
Pair the behaviour with something pleasurable.
3. THE SAME DAMN THING: THE BREAKING-PATTERNS METHOD OF CHANGE
Think of problems as patterns rather than things. Observe the pattern. Change the pattern rather than try to stop it. The pattern can be emotional, behavioural, cognitive, environmental or biochemical. Erickson would have his patient do something different, for example go to the library instead of stay at home, to break a pattern rather than because he knew what might happen. Example was walking backward up bus steps so too embarrassed to be scared. Another: only criticising spouse when had inhaled helium. Change the behaviour, location, timing or clothing. Another: eat with the non dominant hand to stop overeating. Another: set a timer and do the behaviour for 5 minutes then stop for 5 minutes. Increase the intensity of the behaviour before trying to decrease the intensity of the behaviour; moving ones hands or urinating through a tube(!) Link the problem to something else, such as putting on your new shoes when you go to binge, or, do 50 sit-ups every time you postpone doing the tax.
Notify aspects of the problem situation that are not problems and amplify them. Find competence patterns from another context and transfer them. Mindfulness. Karma is his word for behaviours due to core beliefs. Core beliefs...
What would a person who felt good about them self do in this situation. What would Jesus.
Notice results that recur that you do not like, like being in debt. Investigate your actions, feelings and underlying ideas at that time. Do something different. Repeat until you break the automatic pattern.
Ask yourself: what do you think you can not do, what do you think is the nature of people and the world. What could you do that would be incompatible with the above premise.
4. 52-CARD PICKUP: THE CRISIS METHOD OF CHANGE
Connection, compassion, contribution, wake-up call; response to crisis.
Connection example: Rudi Guiliani,
Contribution example: Mothers Against Drink Driving
Find out what you did last time that worked. What past crises have helped you make positive changes.
5. BLESS MY SOUL: THE MENTOR/MODEL METHOD OF CHANGE
The model can be close or far, what to do or what not to do. People can feel they have been given a blessing when they are told they can do something. Mentors can see potential and give specific guidance. Sting used Jimi Hendrix and Janice Joplin as models of what not to do.
Ask
* What has inspired you?
* Who has believed or believes the best in you?
* Who has encouraged you?
* Who are your role models?
* Who are your negative role models?
* Have you had mentors?
* Have you had any negative mentors?
* Do you know anyone who would handle the situation better than you are handling it?
6. CUSTOM REFRAMING: THE NEW PERSPECTIVE METHOD OF CHANGE
Someone found that deciding a child was Bad, Sad or Mad helped stuck behaviour even if the new perspective was not correct.
Reframing.
Have the patient sense that their situation is changeable rather than set. Can try experiments.
Have the patient focus their attention a little differently, such as
* Change orientation in time
o Past to present, for example, five things that happened that she was grateful for.
o Past to (untraumatising) future.
o Present to past (things she had done well)
o Present to the future
o Future to the past. Example: writing a memoir when the wife recons he lived in the future/dreams
o Future to present. Example: saying one good thing about the current situation when confronted about future.
* Orientation to/from internal to/from external
* Causation to/from internal or external
* View of the permanence of problems
o Assume that there is a time when the problem will be solved and ask how one might have changed or do you remember when one has not been depressed
* Accept rather than try to change
o Paradoxically can help change
o Happy couples often accept that they can not change their spouses
* Express gratitude/recognise what you have that has gone well
* Get a bigger or smaller perspective
o How will it look when you are 90
o What would Jesus say?
Don't believe everything you think: how to challenge and escape the domination of unhelpful thoughts
* You are bigger than your mind: disidentification, externalising, mindfulness
* Challenge thoughts: counter arguments, make slight shifts in self talk.
* Just the facts with observations/sensory-based descriptions
* Accept and soften towards one's thoughts
* Exaggerate one's thoughts until they are absurd or lose their power.
* Get into a dialogue rather than a monologue, for example, with other people or oneself
* Take action and do something incompatible with the unhelpful thought
Ask
* When did you think that the problem could not change?
* What part of the problem are you concentrating on?
* Do you usually concentrate on the past, present or the future?
* Do you have an internal or external locus of control?
* Might it be useful to accept some aspect of what the situation?
* Where could gratitude help?
* Do you need to have a broader or more narrow perspective?
7. RESIDENTIAL PSYCHOANALYSIS: THE RELATIONSHIP PATH TO CHANGE
Imago therapy, but the other person must need to help. Accept the person as they are at their core. Be ruthlessly compassionate but still call them on things. Be patient. Be rigorous about your part in any stuff ups.
8. BECOMING YOURSELF: HOW TO CHANGE BY BECOMING MORE OF YOUR TRUE SELF
"Bill, you are not living on the edges of our earth suite." Once the deforming mirror has been smashed.
Questions to ask yourself
* Do you feel comfortable in yourself, your skin and life?
* Do you feel you are doing the right work?
* Do you feel that you have left some significant pieces of yourself behind or lost them?
* Do you fantasise about running away and starting a new life with a new identity?
* If money and obligations were not issues, what would you be doing in your life?
9. HOW NOT TO CHANGE: ELEVEN STRATEGIES FOR STAYING STUCK, WITH A SPECIAL BONUS SECIONTION ON HOW TO INVITE OTHERS NOT TO CHANGE
1. Don't listen to anybody
2. Listen to everybody
3. Endlessly analyse and don't make changes. On the other hand, perhaps: "Don't just do something, stand there."
4. Blame others for your actions or problems. "We have only one person to blame and that's each other."
5. Blame yourself and put yourself down regularly
6. Keep doing the same things that don't work
7. Keep focusing on the same things when that focus doesn't help
8. Keep thinking the same thoughts when those thoughts don't help
9. Keep putting yourself in the same unhelpful environment
10. Keep relating to the same unhelpful people
11. Put more importance on being right than changing
The bonus section... Blaming people puts them on the defensive. Don't give unasked-for advice, don't address problems the patient does not want addressed. Balance acceptance and demands to change.
Some questions to ask
* Where have you resisted change?
* When have you thought for yourself/being swayed?
* When have you pushed someone else to change and not succeeded.
* When have you created a bad atmosphere?
* When have you been blaming or invalidation others and hoping they would change?
* In what ways have you been reinforcing the idea that the person you are trying to help is a victim and powerless?
* When have you been over supportive and not challenging enough?
CRITICISM
---------------
This is not a comprehensive guide to change. That is expected, as the book concentrates on motivation and morale. To induce change, induce constructional and functional alternative behaviours in steps in the behavioural chain before the challenging behaviours, alter establishing operations, use positive and/or negative rewards and/or punishments, and make the person aware of the new rules. To find out what that means, read Erick Emerson.
The second last line of page 143 should read "... but it has..." and not "... but is has...."
7 of 9 people found the following review helpful
A survey recommended for both psychology collections and general-interest libraries.
4 Mar 2007
Format:Hardcover
A very strongly recommended addition to the reading list of anyone who has or is contemplating any form of therapy to improve their lives or help them deal with the their problems, CHANGE 101: A PRACTICAL GUIDE TO CREATING CHANGE IN LIFE OR THERAPY tells of the one thing all therapies have in common: they all work with clients to facilitate change. That said, it's surprising that few books on therapy identify this common denominator to treatment - or survey the basic idea of what constitutes helpful change. Bill O'Hanlon provides keys to achieving personal transformation, offering specific methods to encourage change. His background as a licensed marriage and family therapist lends to reality-based discussions in a survey recommended for both psychology collections and general-interest libraries.
3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
A GREAT BOOK!!
30 July 2010
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
I BOUGHT THIS BOOK FOR AN ONLINE COURSE, BUT READ THE ENTIRE BOOK IN ONE SITTING, EVEN THOUGHT IT WAS ASSIGNED OVER 3 WEEKS!
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