Cellular [DVD] [2004]

Jessica Martin (Kim Bassinger) lives the good life in the SoCal suburb of Brentwood - you know, where OJ lived - with her realtor husband Craig (Richard Burgi) and 11-year old son Ricky (Adam Taylor Gordon). One day, after waving Ricky off on the school bus, Jessica's home is invaded by three thugs led by Greer (Jason Statham). After shooting the housekeeper - perhaps one of the shortest bit parts in history, the intruders carry Martin off to a house in the hills (with a million $ view of the San Fernando Valley), where she's locked in the attic with a smashed phone until Craig hands over an item about which she knows nothing. Being a high school science teacher, Jessica coaxes the phone back to life and dials out by touching two wires together. Calling blindly, she manages to reach the young and irresponsible Ryan (Chris Evans) cruising the coast down by Venice Beach. After much tearful pleading, Martin convinces Ryan that her plight is real, and this launches the latter off on a day-long odyssey of chases and violence as he tries to rescue Jessica and her soon-to-be-abducted son, all the while maintaining that tenuous phone connection to the near-hysterical woman. Obviously, Ryan has never heard the old adage, "No good deed goes unpunished."

CELLULAR has everything necessary for a vicarious, nail-biting thrill ride at the movies. There's the truly vicious villain (Greer), the gorgeous damsel in distress (Jessica), and the completely engaging knight-errant (Ryan), all perfectly played by their respective actors in an ingenious plot. Then there's the delicious supporting role of William H. Macy as Mooney, the police desk sergeant who reluctantly gets involved in the mayhem when all he really wants is to retire and run a day spa with his girlfriend. And to top it off, the film's creators bedevil Ryan with those little daily annoyances that the viewers will personally know so well: a patronizing sales clerk, having to "take a number" in a crowded store, an obnoxious lawyer, bad cellular reception in tunnels and stairwells, an officious security guard, a driver in the next car playing the stereo too loud, slowpokes in the fast lane, and street delays caused by inopportune construction.

CELLULAR isn't one of the year's greatest cinematic achievements, but, for pure entertainment value and fun, it rates 5 stars if you're not too discriminating and willing to overlook a few credibility gaps. I mean, you can't actually park your car curbside in front of the terminal at LAX.

Finally, Jessica's knowledge of human anatomy, when combined with a sharp object, gives fair warning that you probably don't want to p.o. your high school science teacher.

Jessica Martin (Kim Bassinger) lives the good life in the SoCal suburb of Brentwood - you know, where OJ lived - with her realtor husband Craig (Richard Burgi) and 11-year old son Ricky (Adam Taylor Gordon). One day, after waving Ricky off on the school bus, Jessica's home is invaded by three thugs led by Greer (Jason Statham). After shooting the housekeeper - perhaps one of the shortest bit parts in history, the intruders carry Martin off to a house in the hills (with a million $ view of the San Fernando Valley), where she's locked in the attic with a smashed phone until Craig hands over an item about which she knows nothing. Being a high school science teacher, Jessica coaxes the phone back to life and dials out by touching two wires together. Calling blindly, she manages to reach the young and irresponsible Ryan (Chris Evans) cruising the coast down by Venice Beach. After much tearful pleading, Martin convinces Ryan that her plight is real, and this launches the latter off on a day-long odyssey of chases and violence as he tries to rescue Jessica and her soon-to-be-abducted son, all the while maintaining that tenuous phone connection to the near-hysterical woman. Obviously, Ryan has never heard the old adage, "No good deed goes unpunished."

CELLULAR has everything necessary for a vicarious, nail-biting thrill ride at the movies. There's the truly vicious villain (Greer), the gorgeous damsel in distress (Jessica), and the completely engaging knight-errant (Ryan), all perfectly played by their respective actors in an ingenious plot. Then there's the delicious supporting role of William H. Macy as Mooney, the police desk sergeant who reluctantly gets involved in the mayhem when all he really wants is to retire and run a day spa with his girlfriend. And to top it off, the film's creators bedevil Ryan with those little daily annoyances that the viewers will personally know so well: a patronizing sales clerk, having to "take a number" in a crowded store, an obnoxious lawyer, bad cellular reception in tunnels and stairwells, an officious security guard, a driver in the next car playing the stereo too loud, slowpokes in the fast lane, and street delays caused by inopportune construction.

CELLULAR isn't one of the year's great cinematic achievements, but, for pure entertainment value and fun, it rates 5 stars if you're not too discriminating and willing to overlook a few credibility gaps. I mean, you can't actually park your car curbside in front of the terminal at LAX.

Finally, Jessica's knowledge of human anatomy, when combined with a sharp object, gives fair warning that you probably don't want to p.o. your high school science teacher.