I originally bought this for my horse Stella, but one morning, discovering I had run out of butter, I decided to try a squirt on my morning toast.
And I couldn't bridle my sheer joy furlong. Nothing could surpass the taste of that lovely pure bred moistened by lovely oil and topped with lashings of Fillydelphia.
Up until that day I'd like to think I had quite a stable diet, but now every morning I'm chomping at the bit to gallop from the fridge to the magic pump bottle to spread some oily magic across my baps.
I'm trying to jockey my good lady wife into trying it, I thought perhaps I could stirrup some into her morning brew - but she always cries foal with some pony and trap excuse, making herself hoarse snorting "Mu'le regret it!" I told her I under-stud and to trot on, but my God, what a mare.
But, not wanting to saddle her with my new pump-action obsession, I've decided to harness my excitement and give what I call my delicious nutritious oily `thorough bread' a go on my neigh-bours.