Captivating [Paperback]

This is an amazing book.I found it encouraging, invigorating and empowering! I encourage all women to read it and find your self worth and confidence as the female of the species.
Worth reading again and again!

I've read a lot of searching/self-help books over the past 3 years, both secular and Christian, with the aim of trying to find out where I was going wrong in some areas of life. Most of them I have found very enlightening and helpful.The trail was leading me to John Eldredge's "Wild at Heart" (written for and about men) but when I read about "Captivating" (written for and about women) I decided to read that one first. Having read the blurb on the book and the reviews, I really thought this book would have a lot to say to me. And yes, in a way it does, in that I have underlined several sentences that sprang out at me, but I found I was very guarded all the way through, being uncertain of the accuracy of the interpretation of some of the bible passages, and at the end of the book I found myself unsure of exactly what the book was all about. I get the general idea but either it simply doesn't "speak" to me or the authors are not conveying what they want to say very well. It appears rather wishy-washy at times. On that basis I wouldn't exactly recommend it, but would say try it and see.

"Captivating" - I found the subtitle intriguing and the cover enchanting. The book claims to "unveil the mystery of a woman's soul" - that promise is hard to resist and the cover makes me think of fairy tales and castles and princesses!

Mr and Mrs Eldredge believe that ...

"Somewhere between the dreams of your youth and yesterday, something precious has been lost. And that treasure is your heart. God has set within you a femininity that is powerful and tender, fierce and alluring. No doubt is has been misunderstood. Surely it has been assaulted. But is it there, your true heart, and it is worth recovering. You are captivating."

I understand their desire to reconnect women with the beauty and power of their femininity - which is a gift from God - and I understand their desire to inspire women with deep and passionate love for Jesus. And yet I'm disappointed and disturbed by "Captivating".

.::~ Disappointed that such a lovely volume is not as true as it promises - and includes no exhortation to take up my cross (Mark 8:34) and follow my Messiah (Matthew 4:19) and take part in the great adventure and rewards of a life lived in love with Him (1 Corinthians 2:9)!

.::~ Disturbed that girls and women are reading a book that preaches what I believe to be a dangerous message - a message that will inspire them to follow their hearts rather than their Saviour ... wherever HE leads.

Reading "Captivating", I felt confused. On page after page, I disagreed with John and Stasi Eldredge, but I found MY convictions being confused by THEIR convictions. That sense of confusion is worrying. God and His Word are sometimes hard to understand (that's why there are so many Bible Commentaries in the world!), but He says He is not a God of confusion. Why is "Captivating" confusing?

.::~ It Contains a Partial Telling of The Truth ~::.

John and Stasi Eldredge say women ...

.::~ Want "to be romanced".

.::~ Want "to play an irreplaceable role in a grand adventure".

.::~ Want "to unveil beauty".

.::~ Have an enemy - the Devil.

.::~ Reach womanhood wounded.

I believe this is true, but only partially ...

All the women I know want to be pursued in love, want to be the heroine of a story, want to be pretty. Yes - woman as well as men have an enemy in the shape of the Devil. And ... yes ... women have been hurt by circumstances and relationships. BUT ... there's more to life than these "issues" - more to life than these truths.

.::~ It Focuses on ME ~::.

I believe that God knows me and cares about my heart, but I also believe there's more to life than my dreams, my desires, my heart. My initial problem with "Captivating" is the focus on women ... on us ... on ME and MY heart.

The truth is, whether we "feel" this to be true or not, that women are loved by God (1 John 4:9). We play a unique role in the great adventure (Jeremiah 29:11) of faith and history. And He wants us, the workmanship of His hands (Ephesians 2:10) created in His image (Genesis 1:27), to be eternally beautiful (1 Peter 3:4). He is our ally - and He is stronger than our enemy (1 John 4:4) and Jesus says He has already won the battle (John 16:33). And none of the bruises or breaks our hearts have endured have reached our hearts without passing His throne for good (Romans 8:28) - we may never know why He has allowed them, but we must never doubt His love (Romans 8:38) and grace (Titus 2:11).

And my heart is NOT the most important thing in the world - the most important thing in the world is the reality of God and His grace ... the greatest expressions of HIS heart.

Beyond that ... ? There's a world of souls out there beyond "Captivating". There's a generation of souls, in my city, partying and drinking every weekend because they have no hope ... and no vision for life and for eternity.

.::~ It's Truth and Focus is Supported By Unsubstantiated Claims ~::.

John and Stasi Eldredge don't support their claims from The Bible. I'm not aware of any biblical backing for their idea that "woman" is the ultimate expression of God's creativity - the "crescendo" of His creation. That's an example of Mr and Mrs Eldredge's theology that I find careless - as well as worrying.

"Captivating" is intuitive and experiential - rather than biblical. It quotes experiences from Mr and Mrs Eldredge's lives and scenes from their favourite films, rather than verses from The Bible, to support their claims ... as well as secular, rather than Christian, stories and poems and songs. But the heart of man is notoriously wicked (Jeremiah 17:9) - and hard to trust. And what if a man ISN'T a mountain man like Mr Eldredge or a princess girl like Mrs Eldredge? Is he less than masculine? Is she less than feminine? Or do they express themselves in unique ways? And what about the fact that secular art does not tend to reflect the heart of God?

"Captivating" is also seasoned with stories of women who have been abused and traumatised. I'm sorry (so sorry!) they've suffered. However ... their experiences are examples of humanity without God - not of GOD. In that respect, their experiences don't "prove" John and Stasi's points. They do, on the other hand, make dark and depressing reading.

At best, the arguments of "Captivating" feel unsubstantiated by the highest authority. At worst ... ? The blurring of secular ideas with Christian ideas is alarming.

.::~ John and Stasi encourage women to sense Jesus "romancing their hearts" through things like books and movies. I'm comfortable with the idea of Jesus encouraging our hearts through nature, but the idea of Him "romancing" our hearts makes me uneasy - and lots of books and movies, and other things women "like", do NOT reflect His heart.

.::~ Later Mr and Mrs Eldredge encourage women to use their "seductive" powers to "arouse" the masculinity in the men in their lives. Excuse me ... ?!? Read Proverbs 7 - surely there's to be not even a hint (Ephesians 5:3) of this in our hearts and lives!

In conclusion ... ?

I DO believe John and Stasi Eldredge wrote "Captivating" with good intentions - hoping to ...

"... invite women to recover their feminine hearts, created in the image of an intimate and passionate God."

Loving - and accepting love from - God is important (and part of a healing process in any season of our lives), but I believe it should be in the context of ... well ... God and what HE says about His heart, His world (and His plan for His world) and His women in His Word.

Following Jesus is about more than good intentions and doing what "feels" right - according to our hearts and our culture. Heed Paul's warning in Romans:

"For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened." (Romans 1:21)

We're called to more than this - let's ...

"... no longer be little children, tossed like waves and blown about by every wind of doctrine." (Ephesians 4:14)