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Book Description
A true tale of envy, thwarted ambition and doing the write thing
Product Description
'"Right!" My Dad slammed his fist against the dashboard. "If you want to die let's f***ing die together!"
"Dad...don't," I said, referring to the profanity rather than the death-threat.
But my father was lost in his own private Thelma and Louise moment. His sleep-deprived eyes were like ping-pong ball halves. His heel hit the accelerator...'
Tim Clare had always dreamed of greatness. Of writing a critically-acclaimed bestseller and quitting the rat-race of everyday life. The problem was that his friends had got there first and he was... well... nowhere. Seething with envy, single and still living with his parents, he decided to have one last shot at getting his masterpiece published. After all, things couldn't get any worse. Could they?
From grovelling shamelessly to Jeffrey Archer on a reality TV show to a fraught encounter with The Most Powerful Woman in Publishing, a spectacular mental breakdown to an excruciating suicide pact moment with his dad, Tim soon finds the answer is a resounding 'yes'...
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
Wonderfully self-aware and self-deprecating, and surprisingly lacking in bitterness (boo!) this was a lot of fun to read, and extremely quick as well: I think I finished it in about 4 or 5 hours. I also did what gushing reviewers always claim they do, and LOL'd several times during the reading (mostly towards the end, although not the final section which is genuinely moving and sad). More to the point, I thought it was generally very well-written and a superb idea for a book - see also "Killing Bono".
It could perhaps have done with a *tiny* bit more editing, as there are a few unculled patches of purple prose, which serve to remind us of Tim Clare's true (as yet unrealised) ambition of being a published novelist, but it must be bloody hard to switch from fiction to memoir (especially while being slowly eaten alive by envy) so fair enough. My other two minor gripes are:
a) there was a lot of build up, both in individual chapters and in the book itself, towards disaster and drama which never really materialised (the dreaded book launch of mate Joe's novel, for example, ends up underwhelmingly nice) - what my friend Andrew calls "a long drive for a small house". The prose in these parts (and, I'm afraid to say, the prologue) tends towards the Woman's Weekly True Life Story variety. He can and does write so much better in the rest of the book - but these sections are unnecessarily exaggerated, IMHO.
b) I would have loved to read more about his getting the book deal! It's such an interesting twist of fate, and I'm so curious to know what happened: did his agent get sick of hearing him moan and tell him to write it down, did he start writing it out of frustration and show his agent/editor some, did he bump into a publisher at a party who said "what I'm really looking for is a comic memoir of frustrated ambition" - what?! That's the real story, after all - or maybe he's saving it for the sequel ...?
That said, he's a talented chap and I would totally buy a sequel, or any novel he manages to get published. Except maybe the one about the dog-headed boy.
It could perhaps have done with a *tiny* bit more editing, as there are a few unculled patches of purple prose, which serve to remind us of Tim Clare's true (as yet unrealised) ambition of being a published novelist, but it must be bloody hard to switch from fiction to memoir (especially while being slowly eaten alive by envy) so fair enough. My other two minor gripes are:
a) there was a lot of build up, both in individual chapters and in the book itself, towards disaster and drama which never really materialised (the dreaded book launch of mate Joe's novel, for example, ends up underwhelmingly nice) - what my friend Andrew calls "a long drive for a small house". The prose in these parts (and, I'm afraid to say, the prologue) tends towards the Woman's Weekly True Life Story variety. He can and does write so much better in the rest of the book - but these sections are unnecessarily exaggerated, IMHO.
b) I would have loved to read more about his getting the book deal! It's such an interesting twist of fate, and I'm so curious to know what happened: did his agent get sick of hearing him moan and tell him to write it down, did he start writing it out of frustration and show his agent/editor some, did he bump into a publisher at a party who said "what I'm really looking for is a comic memoir of frustrated ambition" - what?! That's the real story, after all - or maybe he's saving it for the sequel ...?
That said, he's a talented chap and I would totally buy a sequel, or any novel he manages to get published. Except maybe the one about the dog-headed boy.
2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
I really enjoyed reading Tim Clare's "We can't all be astronauts". It's a book like no other I've read: very hard to put down and intriguing. Accessible, yet a tour de force of wordsmithery.
It is ostensibly about the struggle to be a published author: not a who-dunnit, rather a how-did-he-get-it-done? Tim moves uneasily among the schmoozers and fakers of the publishing industry until he finally interviews its Pol Pot, who turns out to be ... read the book!
Where this book really scores, however, is on the intimacy of the relationship between the author and his reader. The book pulls no punches in describing the effects that this uphill struggle has on those around the author and (especially) on him. This, at times, makes for harrowing and moving reading. Yet Tim Clare's triumph is to keep the dark light: it is a book that may make you cry, but will certainly make you laugh.
Through it all, Tim develops as a person, and the last chapters are a touching lesson in acquired humanity.
Tim Clare has vaulted the first hurdle: he is a published author. He deserves now to glide over the second: to be a best-selling one.
It is ostensibly about the struggle to be a published author: not a who-dunnit, rather a how-did-he-get-it-done? Tim moves uneasily among the schmoozers and fakers of the publishing industry until he finally interviews its Pol Pot, who turns out to be ... read the book!
Where this book really scores, however, is on the intimacy of the relationship between the author and his reader. The book pulls no punches in describing the effects that this uphill struggle has on those around the author and (especially) on him. This, at times, makes for harrowing and moving reading. Yet Tim Clare's triumph is to keep the dark light: it is a book that may make you cry, but will certainly make you laugh.
Through it all, Tim develops as a person, and the last chapters are a touching lesson in acquired humanity.
Tim Clare has vaulted the first hurdle: he is a published author. He deserves now to glide over the second: to be a best-selling one.
3 of 5 people found the following review helpful
This is a corker of a book, the funniest I've read for ages but also the most thoughtful. "There's no success like failure, but failure's no success at all" says Dylan in one of his songs, yet Tim Clare has made a huge success out of what he saw as failure. In a desperate quest for literary fame and fortune Clare has painfully funny encounters with lots of big name authors and publishers. Clare's insights are fascinating, like watching Louis Theroux trying to blend into a surreal backdrop.
Clare and the friends he writes about have come through a degree course in creative writing and boy, can he write. He cleverly interweaves friends, family, and celebrities in a narrative that never loses pace or fails to surprise. In between the laugh-out-loud comedy and crazy situations there is a lot of thoughtful, insightful writing about hope, despair, self-belief, talent and friendship. And if you're worried it's all going to be bleak, be reassured: it isn't. The book confirms that you learn from family and friends what you don't learn on a degree course.
This book should be made compulsory reading for anyone at a turning point in their life. It will also be enjoyed by anyone who has ever done something really stupid, regretted it, and then seen the funny side of it.
Clare and the friends he writes about have come through a degree course in creative writing and boy, can he write. He cleverly interweaves friends, family, and celebrities in a narrative that never loses pace or fails to surprise. In between the laugh-out-loud comedy and crazy situations there is a lot of thoughtful, insightful writing about hope, despair, self-belief, talent and friendship. And if you're worried it's all going to be bleak, be reassured: it isn't. The book confirms that you learn from family and friends what you don't learn on a degree course.
This book should be made compulsory reading for anyone at a turning point in their life. It will also be enjoyed by anyone who has ever done something really stupid, regretted it, and then seen the funny side of it.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Physician, heal thyself!
The framework of this book is the bloody-nosed confrontation between the world of books and a young author. And the blood is real. Read more
Published 22 months ago by timp
A book about how not to write
Two stars might seem a little harsh but it's the best I can offer this book. It's the tale of a writer who wants what just about all unpublished writers want: to get published. Read more
Published on 29 Mar 2010 by seun
Getting published is about practising until you're really good, then...
I remember reading somewhere that publishers and the BBC don't want books or plays about people struggling to be writers. Read more
Published on 23 July 2009 by Peter Wade
Down and Out in Hay and Edinburgh
There are two sorts of writers: the ones who can write, the ones who can't. It doesn't take long to differentiate - a few pages at most. Read more
Published on 5 July 2009 by Timothy Withers
Highly Enjoyable, Mostly Funny, A Little Bit Sad...
Since childhood, Tim Clare had it all figured out - step 1: Grow up. Step 2: Write a novel that is hailed a critical and commercial success mere hours after its publication. Read more
Published on 24 Jun 2009 by Catherine Howard
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