The Butcher, The Baker, The Candlestick Maker: An Erotic Memoir [Kindle Edition]

 

 

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This is one of the best books I've read in years and had me gripped night after night, fighting sheer physical exhaustion just to read another chapter before succumbing to slumber. No, not just for the explicitness of the descriptions of the sex (which are pretty erotic indeed), but for the absolute frankness and emotional honesty which led to them being the way they are. The author has clearly been on a huge emotional journey as well as a sexual one and the way she lays her soul (as well as her body) bare in this pageturner has to be admired. She's clearly a great person as well as a great writer. All power to her pen! If you're a prude, just don't read this. If you're open enough to discuss sexual matters, you'll really enjoy this.

I had to write a review on this book. It goes without saying anyone even slightly prudish should not read this. That much is obvious! I am not sure why people have given it only one star for not being erotic enough, what did they expect with a `chick lit' cover like this? I personally did not find it erotic at all - just laugh out loud funny, and I mean that in a good way. Suzanne knows what she wants and she goes out and gets it. I read this book so quickly as it was well written and kept me reading to find out what happened next.

A few problems I have with it (and maybe her if I am honest). Warning!! I might spoil the `plot' for people with the below comments. Number 1) what is with the drink driving? Seriously?? The amount of times she says she is in Soho House drinking 4 martinis and then gets in her car. What is up with that? 2) Some of the guys she describes seem very unattractive, ie: she describes Daniel as overweight with some missing teeth - yuk! She seems to have sex with most people even if she doesn't fancy them that much. 3) Her poor kids - the amount of random men they see passing through is not good. She seems to introduce all these men to her kids very quickly. Is having an alcoholic, drug addict living with you really good for your kids? Flying your kids to New York and have them sleep in the spare room while you have sex? Moving in a guy who permanently wears cycling shorts and then changing all the locks when she finds out he is seeing someone else? Taking your kids on holiday with a guy you've been seeing for 5 minutes? I am all for her getting lots of sex but I don't think its something her sons should know about.

Having said this I still thought it was a great book and well worth reading. Hilarious and honest.

There are two reasons I had to read this book. One is because it's an incredibly popular book in certain circles (i.e. people involved with erotica), and number two is because it had some poor reviews on Amazon, and I had to see whether they were right or not. I'm going with not. The reason most of these people have slagged off the book is because of the content, rather than the writing. And, at the end of the day, if you don't agree with someone sleeping around, then why on earth read the book? It's stated exactly what the book is about - "An erotic memoir" kind of gives it away. So I don't agree with those people for giving the book a bad review because of their beliefs. At the end of the day, it's each to their own, and if that's the way Suzanne wants to live her life then it's up to nobody but her, and we shouldn't judge.

So I took the book on face value, and got stuck in right away. I actually admire her honesty. It takes someone with a lot of guts to write a true life book like this under their own name, and I've seen first hand that she does get some stick for it. But hopefully, she just takes it with a pinch of salt.

I enjoyed the book because a great deal of it was about breaking the rules. Suzanne has done pretty much everything that is frowned upon by "society" - sleeping around, going to swingers clubs and bars, etc etc. She's lived a naughty and dangerous life and has seen fit to write about it, probably to open many people's eyes. Mine were already wide open considering my writing and some of the people I mix with (primarily on the internet), but I'd personally love to see the reactions of some people walking down the street where Suzanne talks about Rio's being and realising what the place is. It's amazing how much people can sweep under the carpet when they don't want to deal with it.

I think Portnoy was incredibly brave to write and publish her book. I think the writing is pretty good, and although I didn't find it particularly erotic (it's written in a rather matter of fact way, rather than a blow by blow account of sexual encounters), I did find it interesting, and I got an insight into the swinging world and its inner workings. I think if this book had been written anonymously, and published as fiction, people would have praised it. But because there's a name and a face to the things she's done, people attack her.

I do, however, feel a little sorry for Portnoy. Although she's done things that people would consider to be wrong, there is a heart under that confident exterior, and she is still searching for someone to look after it. But perhaps publishing this book under her own name and airing her dirty laundry means that many men will probably run a mile after discovering her past, and she's made it a lot harder for herself to find a decent guy to love her for what she is, rather than what she's done. I do hope she can find that guy, and doesn't get caught in the trap of sleeping around for the rest of her life.

A gripping read. As I said, I didn't find it particularly erotic due to the way it was written, but I did find it interesting, and I praise Portnoy for showing the world exactly what goes on behind closed doors. She may not be an angel, but nor are many of the people she's associated with. Those who aren't easily offended, give this book a go!

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› See all 22 customer reviews on Amazon.co.uk

 

3.0 out of 5 stars honest and fun
thought I was really going to love this , Suzanne described so much of London that i know and at first i was hooked . Read more

Published 2 months ago by cartoon

1.0 out of 5 stars terrible!
This is quite possibly the worst sex book written. For someone who has so much sex this woman is boring, boring, boring. Its not erotic, terribly written, and not funny. Read more

Published 19 months ago by xxxx

3.0 out of 5 stars Worth a read!
This book is quite sexually explicit in parts, but overall I don't think there's anything that stands out unique to it. Read more

Published on 13 Jan 2010 by D. Parker

5.0 out of 5 stars a whole new outlook
I stumbled across this book on amazon as its not my usual read (may be now)
I found this book gripping and detailed, i felt i lived many moments with Suzanne, although her... Read more

Published on 7 Sep 2008 by Ms. E. A. Longyear

1.0 out of 5 stars don't spend the money
If I could give this a rating it would be minus 10. This has to be the worst book I have ever spent money on. Read more

Published on 20 Mar 2008 by M. thompson

5.0 out of 5 stars Raw and honest sexuality
Suzanne's book is refreshingly raw and honest. Although many might find her raw and open sexuality disconcerting, her frank honesty makes the book highly believable and enjoyable,... Read more

Published on 30 July 2007 by Jerry

5.0 out of 5 stars I thoroughly enjoyed this book
I found this book to be a wonderfully current view of sexuality in a growing segment of the population in the 21st century. Read more

Published on 24 July 2007 by Tom Davis

5.0 out of 5 stars An Erotic Memoir
I applaud Ms. Portnoy for her open and honest depiction of her erotic lifestyle. I found her book to be refreshingly open, honest and forthright. Read more

Published on 19 July 2007 by Kathy

5.0 out of 5 stars I couldn't put it down (it certainly raised the pulse)
Stuck at Heathrow I saw this book and thought seems like an interesting and thought provoking read also a change from the usual Dan Brown rubbish. Read more

Published on 6 Sep 2006 by City Rogue

1.0 out of 5 stars The Butcher, The Baker, The Candlestick Maker: An Erotic Memoir
What a complete waste of a tree. I'm not judging how she chose to live her life, I understand her reasonings, just a pity she doesn't do it with more a little more descreation... Read more

Published on 20 Aug 2006 by Audrey

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