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But Inside I'm Screaming [Paperback]

Elizabeth Flock
3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)

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Book Description

1 Aug 2006
From the New York Times bestselling author of Me & Emma comes one woman’s unforgettable story about what it is to lose control as the world watches, and to figure out what went so very wrong. While breaking the hottest news story of the year, broadcast journalist Isabel Murphy falls apart on live television in front of an audience of millions. She lands at Three Breezes, a four-star psychiatric hospital nicknamed the “nut hut,” where she begins the painful process of recovering the life everyone thought she had. But accepting her place among her fellow patients proves difficult, and Isabel struggles to reconcile the fact that she is, indeed, one of them. As she faces the reality that in order to mend her painfully fractured life she must rely solely on herself, she must also accept an imperfect life in a world that demands perfection.

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Product details

  • Paperback: 316 pages
  • Publisher: MIRA; First Thus edition (1 Aug 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0778301281
  • ISBN-13: 978-0778301288
  • Product Dimensions: 19.6 x 12.6 x 2.4 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 555,367 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

*** BREAKING NEWS: I am delighted to announce that "O, The Oprah Magazine" named WHAT HAPPENED TO MY SISTER one of "Ten Titles To Pick Up Now" (September, 2012). ***

The single best career decision I ever made was chosing to leave something safe to try something risky. I look back now and smile at how blissfully unaware I was of all that is involved with getting something published but I am grateful I didn't have that as my goal.
All I wanted was to see if I could write a book I had in mind. My wish for everyone would be to experience the joy of completing something they feel so passionate about.
Being a writer is the hardest job I have ever had but it is also the best, most gratifying job I could hope for.
Visit my website (www.elizabethflock.com) and join me on Facebook: facebook.com/elizabeth.flock.author


Former journalist Elizabeth Flock reported for TIME and PEOPLE magazines before becoming a television reporter and anchor in San Francisco, California. After moving to New York, Flock became an on-air correspondent for CBS News covering breaking news both in the United States and abroad. Notably, reporting from Havana, Cuba, for Pope John Paul II's visit with Fidel Castro; reporting from London following the death of Princess Diana; and reporting from Hong Kong where she covered the handover from the British to the Chinese.
Flock's acclaimed first novel, BUT INSIDE I'M SCREAMING, a fictionalized account of a journalist's fight for sanity, was published by MIRA Books in 2003. Reviewers called the novel "riveting," "insightful," and, in the words of the Oakland Tribune, "hard to put down." BUT INSIDE I'M SCREAMING has since been translated into seven languages and has sold nearly a quarter of a million copies.
In 2005, Flock's second novel, ME & EMMA (MIRA Books), spent six consecutive weeks on the New York Times bestseller list. Called "a triumph" by bestselling author Kathleen DeMarco, ME & EMMA has been compared to TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD, and was referred to as "haunting...not soon forgotten," by Booklist. ME & EMMA was chosen as one of the "Best Books of 2005″ by Booksense (now called Indiebound) and was a Highlight Pick of the Year. In addition to being a bestseller in the UK, ME & EMMA has been published in 15 countries, translated into 10 languages and has approximately 500,000 copies worldwide.
EVERYTHING MUST GO (MIRA Books, 2007), Flock's third novel, is set in the Connecticut of her childhood. The Dallas Morning News wrote, "in Ms. Flock's talented hands, [Henry] becomes someone readers will keep rooting for long after it would seem the game is over," and Booklist wrote, "another strong characterization from Flock, who uncannily immerses herself in [the main character's] vulnerable, yet stalwart, psyche." On the show Sunday Papers, WGN-Radio's Rick Kogan called the main character "one of the most interesting characters in contemporary fiction."
In 2009, MIRA Books published SLEEPWALKING IN DAYLIGHT, Flock's novel about a stay-at-home mother struggling with a mid-life crisis while her teenaged daughter secretly descends into a dark world of drugs and disillusionment. "SLEEPWALKING IN DAYLIGHT is a finely wrought heartbreaker of a novel," wrote the Denver Post, "Flock writes in compulsively readable prose...shoot[ing] a quiver of arrows straight to the heart."
In August, 2012, Random House debuts the much-anticipated follow-up to ME & EMMA, called WHAT HAPPENED TO MY SISTER. The story picks up the day its predecessor leaves off and follows young Carrie Parker and her mother as they drive away from the shards of their shattered lives to begin anew. While on the road, the two meet another mother-daughter pair, Honor and Cricket, and the two young girls become fast friends. Soon they discover a surprising secret and their lives are changed forever. "From the opening sentence of [this] exceptional new novel, I was at its tender mercies," writes Elinor Lipman (New York Times bestselling author of THE INN AT LAKE DEVINE and THEN SHE FOUND ME). "Heart-wrenching and funny in unexpected ways, beautifully told and so satisfying...these memorable, lovable characters jumped off the page and have lodged themselves in my heart."
Elizabeth Flock lives in New York City.

Product Description


"This book has 'screenplay' written all over it." --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
17 of 17 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Honest, funny and moving - a great read! 5 Jan 2007
By Abi
This isn't a heart-wringing story of a battle with depression - although mental illness is at it's heart. This is an uplifting, and often really funny account of coming to terms with and accepting what many people regard as a weakness or failure in themselves.

I totally identified with the personal battles being fought, and the way that Isabel went through a series of fears, resentments and personal revelations before her emotional breakthrough.

What I really loved, however, was that Elizabeth Flock didn't resort to a trite ending where everything was rosy and Isabel lived happily ever after. That made the story all the more real, as coping with depression is a journey that for some people will last a lifetime, and may not always go smoothly. Leaving the reader guessing about Isabel's recovery and reintegration into life outside a mental hospital was a stroke of genius.

I thoroughly recommend this book - I'm not sure there are many authors who can deal with the subject of depression in such an honest, funny and moving way.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A fascinating account of one woman's breakdown 29 Sep 2006
Reporter Isabel is falling to pieces. After she crumbles on live tv and then attempts suicide she spends time at 'Three Winds', a psychiatric hospital, where she is closely monitored and encouraged to talk about her behaviour and attitude.

This was a fascinating book which I read in a few days as I couldn't put it down. It focuses on relationships created within the hospital, and also within Isabel's home life. As the book progresses the reader learns more about her and discovers how other people in her life may have contributed to her feelings of unworthiness. It's definitely a book which makes you think about mental illness and the stigma attached to it.

I really enjoyed this book. Although moving at times it was also empowering to see Isabel attempt to rebuild her life. An extremely well-written book - thought provoking and fascinating.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Emotionally Draining 24 Jan 2008
This novel took the author four years to write, and it's clearly understandable why: it's so harrowing. Broadcast journalist Isabel Murphy freezes on screen and after one too many suicide attempts checks herself into a psychiatric hospital. This is a disturbing read filled with memorable characters who are all too real, with heart-wrenching back stories. The road to mental wellness is so difficult with numerous setbacks, and Isabel does her best to struggle through. But perhaps the most powerful thing about this novel is that it makes the reader think about themselves, their own life, what breaks them down. As someone mentally ill, this novel really did get to me, articulating my feelings that I'd found indescribable. This novel gives a voice to those who can't find the right words. It's a real effort to keep reading this emotionally draining story, but it's worth it. Buy it for yourself and your loved ones. Share it with the world. And it may it help us all on the road to recovery.
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Deep, thought provoking and very different 5 Oct 2006
This is an amazing book - it is really thought provoking and although the ending is good it is one of those books that makes you feel very strange after you've read it. It is very touching and you cannot help but be influenced by the depth of the characters and the thought that has gone in to the plotlines. The style of writing is very clever and it is very effective in making the book even more unusual. It is a fantastic read and it is well worth a look...
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Losing Control - An Insider Story 26 Oct 2007
Many people think of depression as no more than being very fed-up and are unable to empathise with a sufferer, as they think the person should be able to 'pull themself together'. This novel, however, is an amazing insight into the real nature of the illness and the helplessness of losing control. Don't be fooled into thinking it's dreary though, because it's pretty fast paced and I found it difficult to put down. Isabel is a high achiever - a correspondent for ANN News, but when faced with the task of relaying the news of Princess Diana's fatal accident on live TV, she completely 'loses' it and very soon finds herself in a psychiatric hospital. The author herself was once a news correspondent for CBS and has also battled depresssion, so she knows what she's writing about. A great read and one that will leave the reader that much wiser!
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Not very deep or original, a bit disappointing 2 Aug 2006
The title just grabbed me and I expected a novel that really looked at the depression 'Isabel' was suffering from, but all the way through Flock seemed to be skipping over it, making the novel seem a little shallow. I would have preferred it to have been written in the first person so we could get inside Isabel's head, but maybe the decision to write in the thrid person was supposed to reflect her illness. It also seemed very familiar, it constantly reminded me of 'Girl, Interrupted' (which I preferred) just set in the present day. Althogether, a bit disappointing.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars But inside I'm screaming
I love purchasing secondhand books and this one arrived in very good condition, with areas that had be re-read by the previous owner, giving hints of the best bit of the book. Read more
Published 18 months ago by Ms. P. A. Beckles
4.0 out of 5 stars Evocative tale of depression
Isabel is a high flying, high achieving news reporter... until she falls apart on live TV and suffers a complete and utter breakdown that leaves her desperate and suicidal. Read more
Published on 2 Nov 2010 by Copycreate
2.0 out of 5 stars Disappointing
After reading Me & Emma, I rushed out to get another book by Elizabeth Flock. From reviewing the subject of this book, i expected great things from it - but found it to be a... Read more
Published on 16 May 2009 by Mel
1.0 out of 5 stars A struggle to get through.
Not at all what it promises to be - a big let down this one. I hated it.
No clues as to why she would even be suffering with depression, and for such a strong career woman she... Read more
Published on 15 April 2008 by Leeds lass
2.0 out of 5 stars Very disappointing compared to Me and Emma
After reading Me and Emma which was a very thrilling read with a great ending, I was extremely disappointed by this book. Read more
Published on 7 Jun 2007 by C. Swann
4.0 out of 5 stars Absorbing and Reflextive
I really liked this book and the way it was written...I could almost feel as if *I* was Isabel when I was reading it. Read more
Published on 25 Aug 2006 by Lockeyphage
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