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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
32 of 32 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
The answers for Parents and Carers of Unattched Children,
By
This review is from: Building the Bonds of Attachment: Awakening Love in Deeply Troubled Children (Paperback)
If you are experiencing such problems, do read "Building the Bonds of Attachment" by Daniel Hughes.
Our daughter and her husband adopted a lovely two year old boy. They were given no information of the damage caused to him during his first year of abuse and abandonment by those to whom he looked for love, protection and sustenance, his parents. Eventually the infant was removed and Fostered, though sadly this was to a woman, poorly monitored and without the ability to cope with her own children let alone those Fostered by her. Neither his Parents nor his Foster Carer had the ability to give him the love, structure and confidence in adults that all children need to build bonds of loving trust with those controlling their lives. Our Daughter and Son-in-Law spent five years in a desperate search to understand how they could help their loved but hugely demanding adopted son to control his rages and inexplicable behaviour. His school did try to understand him but still excluded him a day for bad behaviour. Daniel Hughes's book was a revelation to them and to me. It confirmed that some things that they had tried were mistaken but others could be built upon. At last they and their son are to receive real Attachment Disorder Syndrome Counselling and find the hope of enabling their little boy to let go of his perception of being bad and in exchange learn to love and trust his new family in complete confidence. Read this book with relief that, with the correct counselling, there can be a good future for such tormented children, avoiding the life of crime and prison which would otherwise be their lot, to become the happy settled person locked inside.
26 of 26 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
a life-line for parents of adopted or fostered children!,
By Short Read "Long Read" (North Wales) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Building the Bonds of Attachment: Awakening Love in Deeply Troubled Children (Paperback)
I read this first when I was fostering my (now) adopted daughter. It was like being given a translation dictionary for a language I didn't speak. It helped me understand and communicate how much I loved her and wanted to help. I bought it again recently because I need it for continual reference. Buy it, read it, re-read it. No-one else told me this stuff! Everyone said the naughty step works (which it does for children who aren't disturbed). Children who have sufferred need a different approach. Thank you Dan Hughes.
56 of 57 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Applying the theory of trauma,
By
This review is from: Building the Bonds of Attachment: Awakening Love in Deeply Troubled Children (Paperback)
As a foster carer, this book has been critical in enabling me to understand the children I care for even though they are teenagers.
It documents in detail how one foster carer who works closely with Daniel Hughes, manages a difficult and traumatised child. This presents the concepts of trauma in the process of caring, and present practical methods without being didactic, that can be applied intelligently in other situations. The more theoretical analysis of the care that accompanies each chapter allowed me to use to the best possible extent, the information that I gleaned from the book. I eventually understood the implications for traumatised children as they become adolescent and traumatised; because very few teenagers who come into care have resolved their early childhood trauma. Dan Hughes' explanations also helped me a lot in understanding the timescales involved in this kind of therapy, which can be longer than you ever imagine. A must for anyone who is working with children.
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