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Building the Bonds of Attachment: Awakening Love in Deeply Troubled Children
 
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Building the Bonds of Attachment: Awakening Love in Deeply Troubled Children [Paperback]

Daniel A. Hughes
4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)
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Building the Bonds of Attachment: Awakening Love in Deeply Troubled Children + Principles of Attachment-Focused Parenting: Effective Strategies to Care for Children (Norton Professional Books) + The Boy Who Was Raised As a Dog: And Other Stories from a Child Psychiatrist's Notebook - What Traumatized Children Can Teach Us About Loss, Love, and Healing
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Review

Everyone's read them--those books that fundamentally change the way you look at things. Before reading Building the Bonds of Attachment, I had read a great deal on the subject. Despite recurring behavioral problems with my older child, I thought I was on the right track. Then I read Hughes's book and finally understood what I had to do help my daughter. This is the book I'd recommend to every adoptive parent. -- Ann Keisling Adoptive Families I thought the first edition of Building the Bonds of Attachment a magnificent book and recommended it to everyone I knew. The changes in the second edition make it even more essential reading for all who care for and work with children who have suffered neglect, loss, and trauma, and therefore haven't a clue about how to love and connect with others. This beautifully realized story of a young girl's struggle to learn how to love makes gripping reading and will be an inspiration for all those whocare for troubled children. In dramatized form the book presents a model both for the kind of therapy and the equally important kinds of parenting, that are needed to awaken love in deeply troubled children. The approach, which is securely founded inthe very latest research about trauma, attachment and brain development clearly lays out the kinds of care that a child needs in order to overcome the scarring effects of early neglect and frightening physical abuse. An important new emphasis is on the crucial importance of caregivers' understanding and coming to terms with their own early attachment experiences. This is a must read book that will have a profound influence on the whole field of treatment of troubled children. -- Phyllis B. Booth, MA, LCPC, LMFT, RPT/S, director of training at the Theraplay Institute Daniel Hughes has once again proven his keen insight into the psyches of unattached children. This book is filled with gems of wisdom about the therapeutic parenting of wounded children and the often counterintuitive ways one has to respond to their behavior. Through the voices of a foster mother, psychotherapist, and social worker, Hughes creates a pattern for understanding, empathizing, and treating these vulnerable and provocative children in a manner than can bring true healing, not just temporary relief. In this edition, Hughes has added the importance of having the mother look into her own attachment issues to ensure that the child can feel safe enough to relinquish control to her, an essential step toward self-regulation. This book is a must-read for all adoptive and foster parents and the professionals who work with them. -- Nancy Verrier, adoptive mother, psychotherapist, and the author of The Primal Wound and Coming Home To Self Dr. Hughes has done the impossible: take the gold standard in practical texts for both the clinician and the foster or adoptive family, and make it better, by nearly any measure. Where would we have been without the first edition of this clear-headed, practical, clinically sound book? And now Dr. Hughes has taken the courageous step of modifying some of his own ideas and recommendations, in accord with new research, and the honing of his own views through continued clinical practice. -- Michael Trout, author of The Jonathon Letters, Director of The Infant-Parent Institute, Inc I thought the first edition of Building the Bonds of Attachment a magnificent book and recommended it to everyone I knew. The changes in the second edition make it even more essential reading for all who care for and work with children who have suffered neglect, loss, and trauma, and therefore haven't a clue about how to love and connect with others. This beautifully realized story of a young girl's struggle to learn how to love makes gripping reading and will be an inspiration for all those who care for troubled children. In dramatized form the book presents a model both for the kind of therapy and the equally important kinds of parenting, that are needed to awaken love in deeply troubled children. The approach, which is securely founded in the very latest research about trauma, attachment and brain development clearly lays out the kinds of care that a child needs in order to overcome the scarring effects of early neglect and frightening physical abuse. An important new emphasis is on the crucial importance of caregivers' understanding and coming to terms with their own early attachment experiences. This is a "must read" book that will have a profound influence on the whole field of treatment of troubled children. -- Phyllis B. Booth, MA, LCPC, LMFT, RPT/S, director of training at the Theraplay Institute

Product Description

"Building the Bonds of Attachment" is the second edition of a critically and professionally acclaimed book for social workers, therapists, and parents who strive to assist poorly attached children. This work is a composite case study of the developmental course of one child following years of abuse and neglect. This work focuses on both the specialized psychotherapy and parenting that is often necessary in facilitating a child's psychological development and attachment security. It blends attachment theory and research, and trauma theory with general principles of both parenting and child and family therapy in developing a model for intervention. This work is a practical guide for the adult - whether professional or parent - who endeavor to help such children.

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
37 of 37 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
If you are experiencing such problems, do read "Building the Bonds of Attachment" by Daniel Hughes.
Our daughter and her husband adopted a lovely two year old boy. They were given no information of the damage caused to him during his first year of abuse and abandonment by those to whom he looked for love, protection and sustenance, his parents. Eventually the infant was removed and Fostered, though sadly this was to a woman, poorly monitored and without the ability to cope with her own children let alone those Fostered by her. Neither his Parents nor his Foster Carer had the ability to give him the love, structure and confidence in adults that all children need to build bonds of loving trust with those controlling their lives.
Our Daughter and Son-in-Law spent five years in a desperate search to understand how they could help their loved but hugely demanding adopted son to control his rages and inexplicable behaviour. His school did try to understand him but still excluded him a day for bad behaviour.
Daniel Hughes's book was a revelation to them and to me. It confirmed that some things that they had tried were mistaken but others could be built upon. At last they and their son are to receive real Attachment Disorder Syndrome Counselling and find the hope of enabling their little boy to let go of his perception of being bad and in exchange learn to love and trust his new family in complete confidence.
Read this book with relief that, with the correct counselling, there can be a good future for such tormented children, avoiding the
life of crime and prison which would otherwise be their lot, to become the happy settled person locked inside.
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27 of 27 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I read this first when I was fostering my (now) adopted daughter. It was like being given a translation dictionary for a language I didn't speak. It helped me understand and communicate how much I loved her and wanted to help. I bought it again recently because I need it for continual reference. Buy it, read it, re-read it. No-one else told me this stuff! Everyone said the naughty step works (which it does for children who aren't disturbed). Children who have sufferred need a different approach. Thank you Dan Hughes.
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56 of 57 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
As a foster carer, this book has been critical in enabling me to understand the children I care for even though they are teenagers.

It documents in detail how one foster carer who works closely with Daniel Hughes, manages a difficult and traumatised child. This presents the concepts of trauma in the process of caring, and present practical methods without being didactic, that can be applied intelligently in other situations. The more theoretical analysis of the care that accompanies each chapter allowed me to use to the best possible extent, the information that I gleaned from the book.

I eventually understood the implications for traumatised children as they become adolescent and traumatised; because very few teenagers who come into care have resolved their early childhood trauma.

Dan Hughes' explanations also helped me a lot in understanding the timescales involved in this kind of therapy, which can be longer than you ever imagine. A must for anyone who is working with children.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
Building the bonds of attachment.
This is a really good read, worrying, as it reflects different parts of each of my two adopted daughters. Gives some good ideas on dealing with different situations. Read more
Published 6 months ago by Lucy
Great Read
Building the Bonds of Attachment: Awakening Love in Deeply Troubled Children

Great read for people working with parents and foster carers
Published 15 months ago by hipdudess
attachment
A bit heavy - going & as a foster carer made me feel inadequate as the carers in the book seem to good to be true .Does give some good pointers & ideas for working with children.
Published 23 months ago by Pcallaghan
Building the bonds of attachment
A really fantastic book. I have been fostering for five years and I think that all fostering agencies ought to give all their new foster carers this book to read before they begin... Read more
Published on 1 Dec 2009 by Mr. A. Mrs Sarah Cook
It's was about my little one!
Must read for anyone thinking about adopting a neglected child. I was amazed to be reading about my little one. Read more
Published on 30 Oct 2009 by Mrs. Rebecca Bartley
Necessary reading for student social workers
This book very simply illustrates the dilemma that is attachment disorder as so often seen in the behaviour in fostered and adopted children. Read more
Published on 31 Aug 2009 by Mrs. M. O'neill
A good read
I really enjoyed this book. I was fascinated by the approach taken, it obviously worked well in this case. I didn't want to put the book down.
Published on 3 Feb 2009 by Mrs. Rh Ive
A good insight into the mind of a troubled child
My wife and I have both read this book, she rates it very highly and were she writing this review would rtate it 5, I feel that whilst in parts it is very good, in other areas it... Read more
Published on 15 Aug 2008 by Mr. S. J. Morawiec
A must-read for foster parents!
Dan Hughes wrote this book with me in mind. I read this book while fostering a 9 yr old girl who had attachment disorder that, without proper treatment, would have destroyed her... Read more
Published on 14 May 1999
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