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A courageous, innovative, and clinically sensitive work, Building the Bonds of Attachment illustrates the process of repairing children who have been severely damaged by abuse and neglect. In quasi-novel format, Daniel Hughes focuses on one girl's struggles within the foster care system; by portraying her inner world, he enables us to understand and empathize with the dynamics of reactive attachment disorder. Hughes's approach to treatment comes alive, thanks to the interweaving of narrative with a wealth of clinical information.--Karen B. Walant
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With the unmistakable authority of a clinician, Dan Hughes builds a stirring story around the composite figure of Katie--a fragmented, tormented, isolated little girl in foster care whose terror, shame, rage and despair drive her to deeds like lacing the family hamburger with her own feces--in order to expose the tragedy of the attachment-impaired child. The author also affirms and demonstrates the possibility of transformative intervention. Allison is the confident, compassionate, and controversial therapist who diagnoses and treats Katie's profound attachment disorder. Jackie is the therapeutic foster mother who fights to create a lasting bond with Katie by applying Allison's blend of affective attunement and effective discipline. Dr. Hughes speaks in both popular and clinical voices as he animates Katie's demoralizing but eventually reparative odyssey through more homes than any child should have to live in, drawing on his decades of experience with foster and adopted youngsters, their families, and the professionals who support them. Building the Bonds of Attachment: Awakening Love in Deeply Troubled Children is richly webbed with commentary on the dynamics of that odyssey, and also on the separate and tandem roles of case manager, therapist, and parent-surrogate.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
37 of 37 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
If you are experiencing such problems, do read "Building the Bonds of Attachment" by Daniel Hughes.
Our daughter and her husband adopted a lovely two year old boy. They were given no information of the damage caused to him during his first year of abuse and abandonment by those to whom he looked for love, protection and sustenance, his parents. Eventually the infant was removed and Fostered, though sadly this was to a woman, poorly monitored and without the ability to cope with her own children let alone those Fostered by her. Neither his Parents nor his Foster Carer had the ability to give him the love, structure and confidence in adults that all children need to build bonds of loving trust with those controlling their lives.
Our Daughter and Son-in-Law spent five years in a desperate search to understand how they could help their loved but hugely demanding adopted son to control his rages and inexplicable behaviour. His school did try to understand him but still excluded him a day for bad behaviour.
Daniel Hughes's book was a revelation to them and to me. It confirmed that some things that they had tried were mistaken but others could be built upon. At last they and their son are to receive real Attachment Disorder Syndrome Counselling and find the hope of enabling their little boy to let go of his perception of being bad and in exchange learn to love and trust his new family in complete confidence.
Read this book with relief that, with the correct counselling, there can be a good future for such tormented children, avoiding the
life of crime and prison which would otherwise be their lot, to become the happy settled person locked inside.
Our daughter and her husband adopted a lovely two year old boy. They were given no information of the damage caused to him during his first year of abuse and abandonment by those to whom he looked for love, protection and sustenance, his parents. Eventually the infant was removed and Fostered, though sadly this was to a woman, poorly monitored and without the ability to cope with her own children let alone those Fostered by her. Neither his Parents nor his Foster Carer had the ability to give him the love, structure and confidence in adults that all children need to build bonds of loving trust with those controlling their lives.
Our Daughter and Son-in-Law spent five years in a desperate search to understand how they could help their loved but hugely demanding adopted son to control his rages and inexplicable behaviour. His school did try to understand him but still excluded him a day for bad behaviour.
Daniel Hughes's book was a revelation to them and to me. It confirmed that some things that they had tried were mistaken but others could be built upon. At last they and their son are to receive real Attachment Disorder Syndrome Counselling and find the hope of enabling their little boy to let go of his perception of being bad and in exchange learn to love and trust his new family in complete confidence.
Read this book with relief that, with the correct counselling, there can be a good future for such tormented children, avoiding the
life of crime and prison which would otherwise be their lot, to become the happy settled person locked inside.
27 of 27 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I read this first when I was fostering my (now) adopted daughter. It was like being given a translation dictionary for a language I didn't speak. It helped me understand and communicate how much I loved her and wanted to help. I bought it again recently because I need it for continual reference. Buy it, read it, re-read it. No-one else told me this stuff! Everyone said the naughty step works (which it does for children who aren't disturbed). Children who have sufferred need a different approach. Thank you Dan Hughes.
56 of 57 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
As a foster carer, this book has been critical in enabling me to understand the children I care for even though they are teenagers.
It documents in detail how one foster carer who works closely with Daniel Hughes, manages a difficult and traumatised child. This presents the concepts of trauma in the process of caring, and present practical methods without being didactic, that can be applied intelligently in other situations. The more theoretical analysis of the care that accompanies each chapter allowed me to use to the best possible extent, the information that I gleaned from the book.
I eventually understood the implications for traumatised children as they become adolescent and traumatised; because very few teenagers who come into care have resolved their early childhood trauma.
Dan Hughes' explanations also helped me a lot in understanding the timescales involved in this kind of therapy, which can be longer than you ever imagine. A must for anyone who is working with children.
It documents in detail how one foster carer who works closely with Daniel Hughes, manages a difficult and traumatised child. This presents the concepts of trauma in the process of caring, and present practical methods without being didactic, that can be applied intelligently in other situations. The more theoretical analysis of the care that accompanies each chapter allowed me to use to the best possible extent, the information that I gleaned from the book.
I eventually understood the implications for traumatised children as they become adolescent and traumatised; because very few teenagers who come into care have resolved their early childhood trauma.
Dan Hughes' explanations also helped me a lot in understanding the timescales involved in this kind of therapy, which can be longer than you ever imagine. A must for anyone who is working with children.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
Building the bonds of attachment.
This is a really good read, worrying, as it reflects different parts of each of my two adopted daughters. Gives some good ideas on dealing with different situations. Read more
Published 6 months ago by Lucy
Great Read
Building the Bonds of Attachment: Awakening Love in Deeply Troubled Children
Great read for people working with parents and foster carers
Great read for people working with parents and foster carers
Published 15 months ago by hipdudess
attachment
A bit heavy - going & as a foster carer made me feel inadequate as the carers in the book seem to good to be true .Does give some good pointers & ideas for working with children.
Published 23 months ago by Pcallaghan
Building the bonds of attachment
A really fantastic book. I have been fostering for five years and I think that all fostering agencies ought to give all their new foster carers this book to read before they begin... Read more
Published on 1 Dec 2009 by Mr. A. Mrs Sarah Cook
It's was about my little one!
Must read for anyone thinking about adopting a neglected child. I was amazed to be reading about my little one. Read more
Published on 30 Oct 2009 by Mrs. Rebecca Bartley
Necessary reading for student social workers
This book very simply illustrates the dilemma that is attachment disorder as so often seen in the behaviour in fostered and adopted children. Read more
Published on 31 Aug 2009 by Mrs. M. O'neill
A good read
I really enjoyed this book. I was fascinated by the approach taken, it obviously worked well in this case. I didn't want to put the book down.
Published on 3 Feb 2009 by Mrs. Rh Ive
A good insight into the mind of a troubled child
My wife and I have both read this book, she rates it very highly and were she writing this review would rtate it 5, I feel that whilst in parts it is very good, in other areas it... Read more
Published on 15 Aug 2008 by Mr. S. J. Morawiec
A must-read for foster parents!
Dan Hughes wrote this book with me in mind. I read this book while fostering a 9 yr old girl who had attachment disorder that, without proper treatment, would have destroyed her... Read more
Published on 14 May 1999
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