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Product Description
Book Description
Product Description
Whether you're negotiating with an angry boss or a difficult colleague - or, indeed, a stubborn teenager - you can learn to use your emotions to help you achieve the result you want.
Building Agreement show you how to control the five 'core concerns' that motivate people:
-- Express appreciation for what others think, feel or do
-- Build affiliation and turn an adversary into a colleague
-- Respect autonomy in others and gain autonomy in return
-- Acknowledge status and simultaneously establish your own worth
-- Choose a fulfilling role during the process of negotiating
Using the latest research of the Harvard Negotiation Project, the group that brought you the groundbreaking book Getting to Yes, this is a superbly practical guide to mastering essential negotiating skills.
Originally published in hardback under the title Beyond Reason.
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Customer Reviews
For me, the most interesting part of the book is were the authors explain five core concerns -- appreciation, affiliation, autonomy, status and role -- and their effect on decision making. They provide sensible advice on how to use these concerns as levers to keep negotiations constructive. Here is a quote from the book giving you an example: "Perhaps the most powerful way to soothe someone's emotions is to appreciate their concerns. There are three elements in appreciating someone. You want to UNDERSTAND the other's point of view; FIND MERIT in what they are thinking, feeling, or doing; and COMMUNICATE the merit you see." I think that is a terrific way to put it!
The content of this book is one thing that makes it worthwhile. Another reason why I like it is that it is exceptionally well-structured. I like it when authors do their very best to make it as easy as possible for readers to understand their core messages. Fisher and Shapiro succeed very well in this.
Fans of Getting to Yes have probably run into attorneys and negotiators who didn't want to play ball. These people may have been hostile, manipulative and short-sighted. But it's hard to reason with these parties using the Getting to Yes principles if you do not have your own emotions under control.
Beyond Reason is a much needed and valuable resource for dealing with the emotional context for negotiations.
The process for taking the initiative (express appreciation, build affiliation, respect autonomy, acknowledge status, and choose a fulfilling role) is constructive, common sense methods that anyone will feel comfortable doing. As helpful as that process is, I found the most useful advice coming in chapters 8-10 which describe how to be ready for strong emotions, being prepared for negotiations and the case history of the border dispute resolution between Ecuador and Peru.
The examples in the book are well chosen to illustrate the principles and breathe life into those concepts. Roger Fisher and Daniel Shapiro have a light touch that defuses your apprehension as you address this subject.
I also recommend that you read Crucial Conversations, a good complementary book on how to address strong emotions in others and yourself when they arise unexpectedly and unpleasantly.
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