Numerous reasons cause adopted teenagers to reconnect with their birth family via Facebook, creating new challenges for adoption today and tomorrow. Incorporating theory, practice, anecdotes, metaphors, diagrams, models and case studies, this accessible book, written by an experienced adopter, clearly explains these complex issues. It maps connections between trauma, child development, grief, adolescence, contact, truth telling and parenting styles; offering fresh perspectives and strategies for parents and professionals.
Bubble Wrapped Children
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Helen is the rosetta stone for the adoption community. Her ability to understand many communication and psychological models and convert them into practical usage is much needed and welcomed. Helen knows first hand the challenges of being a parent of adopted children and yet has the ability to step back and be objective. Her book updates the adoptive community to the electronic age by addressing the ramifications of social media - Michael Grinder.
About the Author
Helen Oakwater, the adoptive parent of a sibling group, has worn many different hats in the adoption world. As a trainer, communicator and professional coach she has a unique insight into the adoption and trauma world and incorporates these multiple perspectives into her work.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
By Ruth
Format:Paperback
`Bubble Wrapped Children' is a `must read' for teachers, social workers, doctors, police, solicitors, youth workers and of course, adoptive and foster parents - in fact, everyone involved in working with children. The book is well researched and has a life, vitality and understanding that can only come from someone who has lived with `bubble wrapped children' and experienced first-hand the issues dealt with in the book.
The author has taken a subject which has wide implications for our society and education system and covered it in a powerful and informative way in a book illustrated throughout with clear and helpful diagrams. It's an `easy read' in terms of its clarity and style whilst the issues covered and some of the personal stories shared, are incredibly difficult .
The book covers so much more than the influences of social media on adopted children -the affects and legacy of early traumatic experiences are covered expertly and anyone wanting a clear and balanced explanation of the reasons why some young people present with challenges which are often difficult to fathom, will find many of the answers they need here.
The final chapter provides a strong message and some practical strategies for dealing with this subject. I hope it gets into the hands of some of the main decision makers and helps not only to change the course of adoption in the UK as well as giving new insights to adopters and foster carers but that it also gives the professionals working with some of the most traumatised children and young people in the country a real grasp of the effects of `toxic' parenting on our children.
There's a great use of metaphor, making some complex concepts so much easier to grasp. BWC provides a wonderfully clear map for anyone needing to understand the vulnerable and challenging children they live and work with. It is, without a doubt the clearest and most helpful book I've read on the subject.
The author has taken a subject which has wide implications for our society and education system and covered it in a powerful and informative way in a book illustrated throughout with clear and helpful diagrams. It's an `easy read' in terms of its clarity and style whilst the issues covered and some of the personal stories shared, are incredibly difficult .
The book covers so much more than the influences of social media on adopted children -the affects and legacy of early traumatic experiences are covered expertly and anyone wanting a clear and balanced explanation of the reasons why some young people present with challenges which are often difficult to fathom, will find many of the answers they need here.
The final chapter provides a strong message and some practical strategies for dealing with this subject. I hope it gets into the hands of some of the main decision makers and helps not only to change the course of adoption in the UK as well as giving new insights to adopters and foster carers but that it also gives the professionals working with some of the most traumatised children and young people in the country a real grasp of the effects of `toxic' parenting on our children.
There's a great use of metaphor, making some complex concepts so much easier to grasp. BWC provides a wonderfully clear map for anyone needing to understand the vulnerable and challenging children they live and work with. It is, without a doubt the clearest and most helpful book I've read on the subject.
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
By A. G. Horne
Format:Paperback
The themes in this book are extremely powerful. The author does not judge and condemn. The book is written with clarity and compassion from someone who knows first-hand the sheer hell in adopting traumatised children. A loving family environment is not enough. That cannot be exaggerated.
From reading the book, I gained a clearer idea of what trauma is and the lasting negative impact on a child. Also the author breaks down the elements of "outstanding" versus "toxic" parenting. Very disturbing but enlightening. It was moving to finally understand why birth mothers repeatedly have babies despite the children being subsequently removed by social services. It is not through promiscuity or lack of contraception. The birth parents themselves are victims of a previous generation of toxic parenting. The sense of worthlessness and shame they experience damages everything in their lives.
The advent of Facebook has completely transformed the delicate dynamics of family life for adopted children and their parents. It is chilling to realise the easy access toxic birth parents now have to the children they are unable to care for but want to have back by any means fair or foul.
I would recommend ANYONE who works with young people and especially policy and decision makers to read this book. If we can interrupt the damage done by generations of toxic parenting by providing properly targeted therapeutic care who knows how society as a whole could benefit? The author provides ideas and solutions that are worth heeding.
From reading the book, I gained a clearer idea of what trauma is and the lasting negative impact on a child. Also the author breaks down the elements of "outstanding" versus "toxic" parenting. Very disturbing but enlightening. It was moving to finally understand why birth mothers repeatedly have babies despite the children being subsequently removed by social services. It is not through promiscuity or lack of contraception. The birth parents themselves are victims of a previous generation of toxic parenting. The sense of worthlessness and shame they experience damages everything in their lives.
The advent of Facebook has completely transformed the delicate dynamics of family life for adopted children and their parents. It is chilling to realise the easy access toxic birth parents now have to the children they are unable to care for but want to have back by any means fair or foul.
I would recommend ANYONE who works with young people and especially policy and decision makers to read this book. If we can interrupt the damage done by generations of toxic parenting by providing properly targeted therapeutic care who knows how society as a whole could benefit? The author provides ideas and solutions that are worth heeding.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
By Steve
Format:Paperback
I've just finished reading Bubble Wrapped Children and it brings together many of those issues that, if you're in the adoption process you've read about, were unsure about or even hadn't yet thought about. It's succinctly written to provide clarity in a style that makes it easy to read. The book is not just about facebook, it discusses, then brings together, all the elements that makes facebook the adoption gunpowder keg that it is and how adoptive parents can prevent the explosive effects facebook can bring, without adoptive parents knowing until it's too late. If you are an adoptive parent are about to be one, it's essential reading. Thank you Helen Oakwater.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
good book
as with all books about keeping children safe I was very interested in this book and I wasn't disappointed with the read.
Published 1 month ago by deb
5.0 out of 5 stars
A breathe of fresh air
I purchased this book a few weeks ago from Amazon and once I started reading it,I could not put it down. This was a breathe of fresh air for me. Read more
Published 3 months ago by Miranda
5.0 out of 5 stars
Superb resource, informative, accurate and a damn good read.
I have been a social worker for over 20 years and have found this book a superb resource, written by a woman who knows her stuff and isn't afraid to share her 20 years of learning... Read more
Published 8 months ago by Ms
5.0 out of 5 stars
Lisa
An excellent resource for anyone involved in the lives of traumatised children. Easy read, I shall definitely be recommending this book to others.
Published 11 months ago by lisad
5.0 out of 5 stars
Bubble Wrapped Children
An excellent book which enabled us as adoptive parents to be treated seriously when we shared our concerns about our 3 statemented daughters with their schools and colleges.
Published 14 months ago by BobLeV
5.0 out of 5 stars
To read is to understand
Social Networking brings with it social responsibilities...or at least it should. For vulnerable members of society, such as those described in this insightful book, it can bring a... Read more
Published 15 months ago by Lynda Gilbert
5.0 out of 5 stars
From the heart
I have found this an informative, reflective and incredibly useful book. It is clearly written drawing on experience that adopters can relate to and identify with. Read more
Published 16 months ago by Alison
5.0 out of 5 stars
This book packs a punch
Adopters - and anyone working with adoptive families - read this book! If the Facebook time bomb has not yet affected you, read it and prepare. Read more
Published 16 months ago by Lynne Cooper
Listmania!
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