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Bubble Wrapped Children
 
 

Bubble Wrapped Children [Kindle Edition]

Helen Oakwater
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)

Digital List Price: £8.95 What's this?
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Product Description

Product Description

Numerous reasons cause adopted teenagers to reconnect with their birth family via Facebook, creating new challenges for adoption today and tomorrow. Incorporating theory, practice, anecdotes, metaphors, diagrams, models and case studies, this accessible book, written by an experienced adopter, clearly explains these complex issues. It maps connections between trauma, child development, grief, adolescence, contact, truth telling and parenting styles; offering fresh perspectives and strategies for parents and professionals.

About the Author

Helen Oakwater, the adoptive parent of a sibling group, has worn many different hats in the adoption world. As a trainer, communicator and professional coach she has a unique insight into the adoption and trauma world and incorporates these multiple perspectives into her work.

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
By Ruth
Format:Paperback
`Bubble Wrapped Children' is a `must read' for teachers, social workers, doctors, police, solicitors, youth workers and of course, adoptive and foster parents - in fact, everyone involved in working with children. The book is well researched and has a life, vitality and understanding that can only come from someone who has lived with `bubble wrapped children' and experienced first-hand the issues dealt with in the book.

The author has taken a subject which has wide implications for our society and education system and covered it in a powerful and informative way in a book illustrated throughout with clear and helpful diagrams. It's an `easy read' in terms of its clarity and style whilst the issues covered and some of the personal stories shared, are incredibly difficult .

The book covers so much more than the influences of social media on adopted children -the affects and legacy of early traumatic experiences are covered expertly and anyone wanting a clear and balanced explanation of the reasons why some young people present with challenges which are often difficult to fathom, will find many of the answers they need here.

The final chapter provides a strong message and some practical strategies for dealing with this subject. I hope it gets into the hands of some of the main decision makers and helps not only to change the course of adoption in the UK as well as giving new insights to adopters and foster carers but that it also gives the professionals working with some of the most traumatised children and young people in the country a real grasp of the effects of `toxic' parenting on our children.

There's a great use of metaphor, making some complex concepts so much easier to grasp. BWC provides a wonderfully clear map for anyone needing to understand the vulnerable and challenging children they live and work with. It is, without a doubt the clearest and most helpful book I've read on the subject.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
The themes in this book are extremely powerful. The author does not judge and condemn. The book is written with clarity and compassion from someone who knows first-hand the sheer hell in adopting traumatised children. A loving family environment is not enough. That cannot be exaggerated.

From reading the book, I gained a clearer idea of what trauma is and the lasting negative impact on a child. Also the author breaks down the elements of "outstanding" versus "toxic" parenting. Very disturbing but enlightening. It was moving to finally understand why birth mothers repeatedly have babies despite the children being subsequently removed by social services. It is not through promiscuity or lack of contraception. The birth parents themselves are victims of a previous generation of toxic parenting. The sense of worthlessness and shame they experience damages everything in their lives.

The advent of Facebook has completely transformed the delicate dynamics of family life for adopted children and their parents. It is chilling to realise the easy access toxic birth parents now have to the children they are unable to care for but want to have back by any means fair or foul.

I would recommend ANYONE who works with young people and especially policy and decision makers to read this book. If we can interrupt the damage done by generations of toxic parenting by providing properly targeted therapeutic care who knows how society as a whole could benefit? The author provides ideas and solutions that are worth heeding.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Adopters - and anyone working with adoptive families - read this book! If the Facebook time bomb has not yet affected you, read it and prepare. If it has, read it and you'll understand much more and know you're not alone. And if you don't know if contact with birth family has started, find out fast!
The book is current, relevant and thoroughly explores the potential for Facebook to derail adopted youngsters, and their adoptive families. I found the author's voice incredibly powerful. She speaks as an adopter and therefore to adopters. Yet she also presents information on trauma and its impact that is more authoritative, up to date and easy to understand than I have read elsewhere.
All professionals in the field - and all involved in funding post adoption services - should read this book. If the case for quality support for traumatised children placed in adoptive families has not been heard strongly enough before, it will now. The book packs a real punch. Ignore its message at your peril.
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