I don't usually post reviews but this book is so unique, so useful, so needed in the Alt.sex community, that I am compelled to comment. I found the BDSM scene four years ago. I had many questions about how to navigate the community in a polite and respectful manner. Once in the BDSM community, I crossed paths with transgender folk, polyamorous folk, and queer folk. This has been a journey of discovery for me and at times I've been at a loss how to interact and build friendships - I wasn't sure about the etiquette and I didn't want to offend people in the process of getting to know them.
This book would have been a tremendous help. And actually, after reading it, is an interesting and engaging etiquette guide for interactions with the world at large. It is useful for navigating dating within any community, social events (parties, weddings) in any community, and delivers good advice for the workplace as well.
In many cases I found my initial judgment of how to approach new people was correct. I was relieved to see that in some cases, the reactions I had seen were inappropriate from the other party. But in other cases, I found new strategies for showing empathy and respect. I did disagree with one statement in the book: The author's opinion on public displays of affection at large street fairs (Pride & Folsom Street Fair) is that anything beyond hand holding and social kissing is not appropriate. These events are targeted at encouraging people with alternative lifestyles to be proud of that lifestyle and is one of the few places that you *can* freely express your sexuality. I believe that attendees understand that in advance and the "displays" they see are not a surprise, therefore, acceptable. But the book gave me another perspective on this situation.
This book is now at the top of my "what to recommend to a newbie" in the scene list. No, it doesn't address the play & safety issues that must be considered before jumping into BDSM play, but it gives you a foundation for respectful communication that really is required before those other conversations should occur.