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The Brentford Chainstore Massacre (The Brentford Trilogy Book 5) Kindle Edition

4.3 out of 5 stars 21 customer reviews

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Length: 372 pages Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
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Product Description


"'Stark raving genius...alarming and deformed brilliance'" (Observer)

Book Description

Brentford celebrates the New Millennium - two years early to avoid the rush.

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 636 KB
  • Print Length: 372 pages
  • Publisher: Far Fetched Books (4 July 2012)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars 21 customer reviews
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #16,878 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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More About the Author

Robert Rankin describes himself as a teller of tall tales. The Morning Star describes him as 'The Master of Silliness', and his publisher describes him as The Master of Far Fetched Fiction. He is the author of more than thirty novels, of which he has sold millions of copies, and he is published - and making people laugh - around the world.

Despite his remarkable publishing success, Robert has never taken himself too seriously. He loves going on tour, signing books for readers, and his appearances at signings and conventions are legendary, often including a stand-up routine, a song (accompanied by his 'air-ukulele'), and an always-entertaining question-and-answer session. Robert Rankin is a great entertainer, whether in person or through his novels, with wit, humour and an incredible personal warmth.

But that's not all! In addition to being a talented writer, comedian and musician, he's also an incredible artist . . . so incredible, that he creates his own stunning book covers.

Reading his books can and will inspire you, scare you, thrill you and, above all, entertain you. His novels are an outlet for the soul, and food for the imagination.

The Brentford Trilogy:

The Antipope
The Brentford Triangle
East of Ealing
The Sprouts of Wrath
The Brentford Chainstore Massacre
Sex and Drugs and Sausage Rolls
Knees Up Mother Earth
The Brightonomicon

The Armageddon Trilogy:

Armageddon: The Musical
They Came and Ate Us
The Suburban Book of the Dead

Cornelius Murphy Novels:

The Book of Ultimate Truths
Raiders of the Lost Car Park
The Most Amazing Man Who Ever Lived

The Trilogy That Dare Not Speak Its Name:

Sprout Mask Replica
The Dance of the Voodoo Handbag
Waiting for Godalming

The Witches Trilogy:

The Witches of Chiswick
Knees Up Mother Earth
The Brightonomicon

Eddie Bear Novels:

The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse
The Toyminator

Standalone Novels:

The Greatest Show Off Earth
The Garden of Unearthly Delights
A Dog Called Demolition
Nostradamus Ate My Hamster
Snuff Fiction
Web Site Story
The Fandom of the Operator
The Da-da-de-da-da Code

Customer Reviews

4.3 out of 5 stars
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Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
After the amusing but slightly under whelming Sprouts of Wrath Rankin returns with the 5th (and so far final) book in the Brentford Trilogy. I’m mystified as to some of the negative comments here; as far as I’m concerned this book has it all. It starts with the best premise of any – the cloning of Jesus Christ from blood on the Turin Shroud, coupled with some of the most inspired lunacy I’ve ever read from Robert Rankin. This isn’t plot heavy, and Rankin knows just when to take his foot off the pedal and concentrate on the humour. Its got a great story, its funny as hell, and it contains some fine writing. What more could you ask for?
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Format: Paperback
Some years ago, in a copy of Amiga Format, I reviewed Zool from Gremlin Graphics. In one section, talking about the DIY level of the game, I mentioned that Zool was in his own Texas Chainstore massacre. I doubt Robert Rankin ever saw that review... but the line is still funnny enough. As is the rest of this book.
Rankin's perennial heroes, Pooley and O'Malley return from wherever it is that they reside whilst not saving the world from imminent descruction by marauding mystical and satanic forces (for non-fans, that place is the Bar Counter of the Flying Swan pub in Brentford).
This time, they wish to put right the wrongs done so long ago, when a medeival monk returning from the vatican with a papal grant of extra days for Brentford, was mugged, and had the decree stolen from him. You see, if Brentofrd gets its days back, they can legally celebrate their millenium early, and get a big grant from the millenium fund.
The books as twisted as usual, implausible in a strangely plausible sort of a way. Rankin is a great genius. Read this book.
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Format: Paperback
If this is to be the final novel in the Brentford series of books then its a satisfatory climax. Not one of Rankins best though I think. The plot is good but never fully developed. While the need to provide a happy ending find him shoehorning in an unlikey love interest for Pooley in the final third of the book. Overall I got the impression Rankin is a little bored with his creations, and the don't spark as they have done previously.
Still entertaining but not up to his highest atandards.
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Format: Paperback
As someone who enjoys Rankin's work, but who doesn't feel that he always writes to his potential, this was a welcome and pleasant surprise. Easily the best of the Brentford books (the increasingly inaccurately named trilogy) so far and quite possibly Rankin's best novel full stop.

This one has it all: a plethora of really great gags (some running, some not), one of the strongest Rankin storylines (i.e. not just a series of sketches slung together, as is all too often the case with Rankin's plots), a range of typically bizarre Fortean-style phenomena, and of course there's the much loved characters of Brentford who are on their finest form.

What's more, though, amongst the silliness there's a touching, almost mature quality to this book, which is quite unlike anything I've ever read in a Rankin novel before. There's almost a sense that this is Robert Rankin for grown-ups, which is not to ridicule the rest of his work but for me it's his most well-rounded and truly intelligent book, as well as having a lot of heart, plus all the wit and weirdness that you'd expect from a Brentford book.

Avoid the nay-sayers. They're just saying 'nay'. This rocks, said a lady in a straw hat.
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Format: Paperback
I really can't add anything that Alan Thirsk has not already said in his excellent review, I can only concur. I am a huge fan of the Brentford books; the Antipope was very good, the Brentford Triangle absolutely superb, I think East of Ealing was _relatively_ weak but we were back on track with the Sprouts of Wrath - good, solid Rankin.
I'd enjoyed all 4 books so much that, pessimist that I am, I was waiting for the bubble to burst. I would say that with 'Chainstore', though the bubble has defnitiely gone 'pop' it IS still a Brentford book and still worthy of 3 stars.
The plot of the book is as strong and imaginitive as any of the previous four; but the previous reviewer is right on the money when he writes that its handling is, "just too flippant and loose". The book is full of stupid asides, between author and reader, about the book. I got the feeling whilst reading this that Rankin knew the book was way short of the mark, and his self-conscious asides just undermined the story from the word go. When the plot reached a cul-de-sac Rankin would need to rescue it with a conspicuous bodge job, and then he'd joke with the reader with a note to the effect, "I know that bit was ropey but I can't really be bothered". I can't help feeling that a Rankin at the top of his form would have ignored the inconsistencies and ploughed un unabashed - or written a tighter story to start with.
The use of the main characters was poor - with Pooley and Omally being separated for much of the book - most unwise. Rankin also seemed to be attempting to make up for lack of content with really squirmingly corny jokes - he literally lost of the plot.
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