- Paperback: 304 pages
- Publisher: Zondervan; Revised edition edition (13 Feb 1996)
- Language English
- ISBN-10: 0310209749
- ISBN-13: 978-0310209744
- Product Dimensions: 23.6 x 14.7 x 2.8 cm
- Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars See all reviews (59 customer reviews)
- Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 440,842 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Boundaries
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Product Description
Book Description
Based on the best-selling, award-winning book, this curriculum teaches the basics of developing healthy boundaries in order to maintain healthy relationships. It is designed for use with groups of all sizes and comes complete with 1 copy of the book, 1 leader’s guide, 1 120-minute video, and 1 participant's guide. 9 sessions.
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
From the Publisher
Synopsis:
While co-dependency was the buzzword of the 1980s, boundaries may be the word for the 1990s. According to authors and clinical psychologists, Henry Cloud and John Townsend, a boundary is defined as one’s personal property line and delineates those things for which he or she is responsible. The premise of their book, Boundaries, and its accompanying workbook, is that a great number of psychological, spiritual, and relational disorders have boundary conflicts at their core. This Gold Medallion award-winning book seeks to present a biblical treatment of boundaries, identifies how boundaries are developed and how they become disrupted, illustrates misconceptions of their function and purpose, targets boundary conflicts, and gives a program for developing and maintaining healthy limits. Boundaries affect all areas of our lives: · Physical boundaries help us determine who may touch us, how, and when. · Mental boundaries give us freedom to have our own thoughts and opinions. · Emotional boundaries help us deal with our own emotions and disengage us from the harmful, manipulative emotions of others. · Spiritual boundaries help us distinguish God’s will from our own and give us renewed awe for our Creator. The Boundaries Workbook, available separately, provides practical, non-theoretical exercises that will help set healthy boundaries with parents, spouses, children, freidns, co-workers, and even yourself. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.
While co-dependency was the buzzword of the 1980s, boundaries may be the word for the 1990s. According to authors and clinical psychologists, Henry Cloud and John Townsend, a boundary is defined as one’s personal property line and delineates those things for which he or she is responsible. The premise of their book, Boundaries, and its accompanying workbook, is that a great number of psychological, spiritual, and relational disorders have boundary conflicts at their core. This Gold Medallion award-winning book seeks to present a biblical treatment of boundaries, identifies how boundaries are developed and how they become disrupted, illustrates misconceptions of their function and purpose, targets boundary conflicts, and gives a program for developing and maintaining healthy limits. Boundaries affect all areas of our lives: · Physical boundaries help us determine who may touch us, how, and when. · Mental boundaries give us freedom to have our own thoughts and opinions. · Emotional boundaries help us deal with our own emotions and disengage us from the harmful, manipulative emotions of others. · Spiritual boundaries help us distinguish God’s will from our own and give us renewed awe for our Creator. The Boundaries Workbook, available separately, provides practical, non-theoretical exercises that will help set healthy boundaries with parents, spouses, children, freidns, co-workers, and even yourself. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.
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First Sentence
The alarm jangled. Read the first page
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
The alarm jangled. Read the first page
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Concordance
Browse Sample PagesConcordance
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
96 of 99 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Firstly, although the authors are Christian and have wriiten this book with numerous biblical references, you do not have to be a believer yourself to understand their 'message'. Personal 'boundaries' are as equally relevant to Moslems, Buddhists and so on, as they are to 'non believers like myself.
Many of us were brought up without a clear indication of the concept of boundaries. The nearest I can recall is that my father went to work to earn money which kept us and my mother cooked and kept house. As for children, well, they were to be seen, but not heard! There must have been other 'boundaries' that I was taught, but they are not obvious (even now at 56 years of age). Looking back on my life I can see that had I known of and developed boundaries such as those in this excellant book, my life would have been less 'hassle' and I would have been more easily understood by others.
Drs. Cloud and Townsend are clinical psychologists and their insight and knowledge of human interactions is 'mindblowing'. As an example, many of us who are in conflict with someone often take our grievences to a third party. Sometimes it is for advice, but probably more often than not we hope 'they' will agree that we are 'in the right'. By doing so, we put people in positions that is impossible, probably only with the facts that you wish them to have and the risk is that 'the problem' ropes in others who should not be involved.
However, these Christian authors are quite clear that the best way is to confront people with behaviour that you find difficult to cope with and work out a solution with them. Obvious isn't it? Only though, how many of us tackle problems in such a direct manner? Many Christians have been taught that the 'right way' is to turn the other cheek or show love instead. Therefore, it is immensely refreshing to receive advice from Christian authors that appear more human based and reassuringly effective in many cases, but not always I hasten to add.
They tell us that 'confrontation' helps both parties to 'grow'. All this seems common sense, but how many of us interact with others in the tradional Christian way?
There is so much good advice throughout this book (I particularly liked the 'spiritual laws') that it will be a constant companion to me for the remainder of my life.
Interestingly, this book has generated a respect in me of the Holy Bible that I neve had previously had. Thank you Drs Cloud and Townsend for a really helpful and important work.
I will be a more mature and a less complex character in my dealings with people I come into contact with as a result of your excellant book.
Many of us were brought up without a clear indication of the concept of boundaries. The nearest I can recall is that my father went to work to earn money which kept us and my mother cooked and kept house. As for children, well, they were to be seen, but not heard! There must have been other 'boundaries' that I was taught, but they are not obvious (even now at 56 years of age). Looking back on my life I can see that had I known of and developed boundaries such as those in this excellant book, my life would have been less 'hassle' and I would have been more easily understood by others.
Drs. Cloud and Townsend are clinical psychologists and their insight and knowledge of human interactions is 'mindblowing'. As an example, many of us who are in conflict with someone often take our grievences to a third party. Sometimes it is for advice, but probably more often than not we hope 'they' will agree that we are 'in the right'. By doing so, we put people in positions that is impossible, probably only with the facts that you wish them to have and the risk is that 'the problem' ropes in others who should not be involved.
However, these Christian authors are quite clear that the best way is to confront people with behaviour that you find difficult to cope with and work out a solution with them. Obvious isn't it? Only though, how many of us tackle problems in such a direct manner? Many Christians have been taught that the 'right way' is to turn the other cheek or show love instead. Therefore, it is immensely refreshing to receive advice from Christian authors that appear more human based and reassuringly effective in many cases, but not always I hasten to add.
They tell us that 'confrontation' helps both parties to 'grow'. All this seems common sense, but how many of us interact with others in the tradional Christian way?
There is so much good advice throughout this book (I particularly liked the 'spiritual laws') that it will be a constant companion to me for the remainder of my life.
Interestingly, this book has generated a respect in me of the Holy Bible that I neve had previously had. Thank you Drs Cloud and Townsend for a really helpful and important work.
I will be a more mature and a less complex character in my dealings with people I come into contact with as a result of your excellant book.
28 of 29 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
This book is what "self-help" books should be! Not only does it clearly define what boundaries are, but it clearly explains how they are developed (or not developed), and how having boundaries (or the lack thereof) affects every area of our lives. If you aren't sure you understand what boundaries are (much less how to have them in your life), this book is for you. If you have been going through life feeling that something is missing, but you can't quite figure out what's wrong, this book may change your life forever! I know it changed mine! It's much more than just learning when to say "yes" and when to say "no". It's about knowing what defines you as individual. While it emphasizes accepting responsibility for yourself -- your thoughts, actions, feelings -- it is by no means a "pull yourself up by your own bootstraps" kind of book! It truly is one of the best blends of Christianity and clinical psychology I have ever read!
37 of 39 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
This is a life-changing book, and a classic. I thnk the main message of the book can be summarised very simply: I need to understand where my boundaries are; take responsibility for the things within my own boundaries; and allow other people to take responsibility for the things within their boundaries.
Several aspects of the book can be quite annoying.
* It is American, with the cultural assumptions and norms that this implies.
* It is very Christian, with many references to Biblical stories and providing chapter and verse references to most of the quotes. This is not a problem for me, but I suspect it will limit the accessibility of the book for prople who are not evangelical Christians, which is a pity because the content works whatevery you believe.
* The style is very repetitive and obvious: you hear about the experiencs of a person who is struggling with areas of their life, they get taught how to apply appropriate boundaries, and you then hear about how much better their life is now that they apply the principles we have taught them.
All of which is to say that the book grates on some people's nerves. But don't let this put you off: whatever the problems of culture and style, the content is relevant and vital. If you are not applying these principles, this book could be one of the most important you will ever read; and if you are, it will help you understand why your life is so much better than most of the people around you - and how to help them take control of their lives.
Several aspects of the book can be quite annoying.
* It is American, with the cultural assumptions and norms that this implies.
* It is very Christian, with many references to Biblical stories and providing chapter and verse references to most of the quotes. This is not a problem for me, but I suspect it will limit the accessibility of the book for prople who are not evangelical Christians, which is a pity because the content works whatevery you believe.
* The style is very repetitive and obvious: you hear about the experiencs of a person who is struggling with areas of their life, they get taught how to apply appropriate boundaries, and you then hear about how much better their life is now that they apply the principles we have taught them.
All of which is to say that the book grates on some people's nerves. But don't let this put you off: whatever the problems of culture and style, the content is relevant and vital. If you are not applying these principles, this book could be one of the most important you will ever read; and if you are, it will help you understand why your life is so much better than most of the people around you - and how to help them take control of their lives.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
Taking back control of your life !!
I highly recommend this book for everyone to read, you'll see yourself in the pages written, and discover how to apply what you read to your life immediately. Read more
Published 4 days ago by Shirley Bigg
Potentially useful, sometimes unrealistic.
Although this book attempts to address an extremely important aspect of human relationships (i.e. establishing healthy boundaries) there are times when I feel the book was not very... Read more
Published 26 days ago by Cynthia Danute Cekauskas, LCSW
Excellent Book for couples
This book is invaluable to pre-married and married couples. It is based on Christian values and the Bible. It is written clearly with good examples that are easy to understand. Read more
Published 1 month ago by ND
Loved this book!
This is a wonderful book that brings so much clarity and empowerment. The biggest lesson it starts off with is that when someone creates a problem, YOU are the one who has to make... Read more
Published 4 months ago by Love tea
Yes or No
A very good book which I am reading slowly in order to take it in. We all say 'yes' too ofter and then realise it should have been 'no' and we end up being in a 'pickle'.
Published 10 months ago by Traveller
Poor reader
very difficult to read and follow. some useful insights. There must be more pragmatic books on the subject with less waffle.
Published 10 months ago by bajitabeebah
Excellent book
This is a fantastic book that teaches you to set healthy bounderies.some people always expect you to say yes and sometimes we even feel obligated to some of them because of... Read more
Published 12 months ago by Thangita
Boundaries
This is a FANTASTIC book!!
It's a must read if you feel you have a problem with boundaries - if you say yes to more than you want to because you feel you ought to, and then... Read more
It's a must read if you feel you have a problem with boundaries - if you say yes to more than you want to because you feel you ought to, and then... Read more
Published 12 months ago by mummy
A dvd is needed
This book is a course to go with a DVD but the DVD is only available in Region 1 format. The book invites you to undertake exercises using the DVD - tricky to do without the DVD. Read more
Published 13 months ago by M. Horsfall
Life changing book
Reading 'Boundaries' caused a light to switch on in my head, regarding some problems I have encountered over years. Read more
Published 15 months ago by Alison Shine
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