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Botox Diaries, THE [Paperback]

Lynn Schnurnberger , Janice Kaplan
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)

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Book Description

1 May 2005
In a world where plastic surgery is as popular as a pair of sexy Manolo Blahniks, suburban single mom Jessica Taylor is trying to make it past forty with nothing more than moisturizer and a swipe of mascara. Her glamorous best friend, TV producer Lucy Baldor, has a different idea of aging gracefully. “My body is a temple,” Lucy explains. “I just don’t want it to crumble like St. John the Divine.”
Jess and Lucy’s friendship has weathered the trials of marriage, the births of children, and the transition from itty-bitty bikinis to “Kindest Cut” one-piece suits. Now the women are discovering that midlife crises aren’t just for men—they’re equal-opportunity dilemmas.
To Jess’s dismay, Lucy announces that she’s taken a lover. A very famous lover. Her husband, Dan, is bound to find out (especially after a picture of the amorous duo appears on Page Six of the New York Post), but Lucy’s too wrapped up in the joys of expensive lingerie and romantic retreats to care. Jess finds herself in the midst of her own romantic predicament when, after ten years of silence, her sexy French ex-husband, Jacques, ends up back in her life—and in her bed.

Whether navigating bake sales, bicoastal affairs, or bagels-and-Botox parties, these wise and witty women know that their friendship will remain the one true thing they can count on. Well, that and a good push-up bra, of course. And their bond withstands everything—from an orgy in Willie Nelson’s trailer to a reality TV-show bachelor named Boulder.
Funny, brazen, and often poignant, this irresistible novel offers an unexpected and entertaining look at two women’s midlife adventures. From Thai massage to tantric sex, who would have thought forty could be so much fun?


From the Hardcover edition.

Product details

  • Paperback: 336 pages
  • Publisher: Ballantine Books; Reprint edition (1 May 2005)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0345468589
  • ISBN-13: 978-0345468581
  • Product Dimensions: 1.9 x 13 x 20.5 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 1,958,802 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Botox, bikinis and...PTA meetings?? 9 Feb 2006
Format:Paperback
I got this book as a freebie in a goodie bag and although I'd never really had any interest in reading it, I figured no book is better than a free book. So I decided to give it a whirl and plucked it out of my "to read" pile and boy am I glad that I did! The writing team of Lynn Schnurnberger and Janice Kaplan have delighted us with a uproarious novel about the difference between growing older and getting better as two friends struggle to keep up while holding on to what they treasure most, their family and their friendship.

`THE BOTOX DIARIES' was funnier than I imagined and kept me reading into the wee hours of the morning trying not to laugh so hard that I would wake my husband! I now see why this was last summers "it" book and can't wait to read `MINE ARE SPECTACULAR' by this amazing writing team!

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com: 3.1 out of 5 stars  61 reviews
14 of 14 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Injecting some fun 4 Dec 2004
By E. A Solinas - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Hardcover
It's no secret that most chick-lit books are for the twentysomething crowd -- a few are for thirtysomethings. But Janice Kaplan and Lynn Schnurnberger aim a bit higher in "The Botox Diaries," an entertaining but flawed look at the lives of New York's fortysomething mothers and wives.

Single mom Jessica Taylor is trying to keep up with the deranged supermoms, while her flighty producer pal Lucy fixes her up on disastrous dates with horny plastic surgeons. And then Jessica realizes that Lucy is cheating on her lovable husband Dan, with a boorish TV host. Now Jessica is stuck between her two friends, as Lucy takes resort trips and tantric sex lessons with her new lover. What makes it even worse is that Lucy's "what he doesn't know won't hurt him" attitude is exactly like that of Jessica's ex-husband, Jacques.

Coincidentally, Jacques then reappears in Jessica's life, and seems to be trying to win her back. She allows herself to be swept along, but wonders what it is really up -- and if Jacques can learn to be faithful. Between reluctantly dating a gay surfer and attending a Botox party, Jessica struggles to fix both her own life and Lucy's disintegrating marriage.

Few books take a look at the female midlife crisis -- let's face it, women can panic as easily as men about turning forty. Even so, it's a bit hard not to cringe as Lucy blithely cheats on her husband, assuming that her side nookie won't be uncovered. At one point, the wit falls away in favor of drama, when it looks like Lucy's marriage is over forever.

But the book is about more than just midlife crises -- Kaplan and Schnurnberger also look at experienced romance, aging (and Botox), motherhood, and the pressure to keep up with deranged supermoms. Their style is witty and detailed, although the plot tends to meander. However, they have a witty, literate edge to their writing, without seeming to name-drop. Jessica's description of Chekhov as a Russian "Sex and the City" is hilarious.

Jessica is the "au naturel" one -- she's very unself-conscious and down to earth. She's a little too passive, however -- why couldn't she tip Dan off anonymously? Lucy is a stereotype of the shallow, overmoneyed woman, and Jacques a stereotype of the faithless French lover. Sadly, the book falls into the old chick-lit trap of providing a convenient love interest for Jessica, though they have zero chemistry and he appears less often than the Gen-X gay surfer.

An awkward love story mars this story of love, motherhood, infidelity and botulism. But "The Botox Diaries" is still an entertaining read, especially for the forty-plus set -- really, aren't you sick of all chick-lit heroines being the same age?
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Best Beach Book Of The Summer 12 Jun 2004
By A Customer - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Hardcover
The Botox Diaries is a fabulous book about two women in their forties, Jess and Lucy, which is breezy, fun and more. Lucy goes through a mid-life crisis and ends up in an affair with a famous TV star -whose name I just loved!- Hunter Green. Jess' French ex-husband, Jacques, has come back to New York and is chasing her again. The plot is fast paced and funny and you really end up caring about Jess and Lucy and their friendship. This is a fabulous book which is perfect for all of us who loved "The Devil Wears Prada" and "Sex and the City". LOVED IT.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars More Than Chick Lit 9 Jun 2004
By A Customer - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Hardcover
The Botox Diaries is a cut above even the best chick lit.
When I think of chick lit I think of improbable people in improbable situations. And the characters are usually too brittle to be believable.
These characters, on the other hand, have famlies, homes, jobs --and mishaps. There's an "I Love Lucy" strain to this novel that takes comedy past one-liners. The characters and situations are genuinely funny.
At the same time, "The Botox Diaries" is part fairy-tale--which is to say that it's far less cynical than most chick-lit. The characters have hearts and real relationships--not just with men, but with daughters, neighbors, friends.
This is what makes it such a good read.
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