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Born for Love: Why Empathy Is Essential--and Endangered
 
 

Born for Love: Why Empathy Is Essential--and Endangered [Kindle Edition]

Bruce D. Perry , Maia Szalavitz
4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (16 customer reviews)

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Review

"An accessible and important work of popular science."--BigThink.com

Product Description

“Bruce Perry is both a world-class creative scientist and a compassionate therapist.”

—Mary Pipher, author of Reviving Ophelia

 

Born for Love is the definitive book on empathy. Renowned psychiatrist Bruce Perry has appeared on Oprah, CNN, National Public Radio’s All Things Considered, and other programs as an expert in this hot area of neuroscience, and has been cited as such in Newsweek, the New York Times, and The New Yorker (in a story written by Malcolm Gladwell). He and co-writer Maia Szalavitz explore empathy’s startling importance in human evolution and its significance for our children and our society. The authors of The Boy Who was Raised as a Dog present a powerful case that love is essential…and endangered.


Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 555 KB
  • Print Length: 387 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 0061656798
  • Publisher: HarperCollins e-books; Reprint edition (6 April 2010)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B003D20RRI
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (16 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #75,702 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
4.7 out of 5 stars
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
20 of 22 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
This book was a very entertaining and enlightening surprise. It brought into stark reality the effect of the US 'each for his own' concept, and precisely how it not only undermines empathy, but rather a lot more.

It is articulately written and well organised, with well explained and appropriate case studies. And a good balance between the necessary touchy-feely and the mechanics of empathy and related matters. I strongly feel that the potential audience is large - including those who are aware how un-empathic they are, for being so may not be the best for their health. I personally plan to reread it in order to better absorb the many concepts and details offered.

Splendid!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Missing today 12 Jun 2014
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Back in the fifties John Bowlby described the dangerous results of an institutional upbringing. Today there are writers carrying on his work. 'Born for Love' says it all and yet never was a book like this more needed.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Flawed Ideology 16 Mar 2014
By Dr. Delvis Memphistopheles TOP 100 REVIEWER VINE VOICE
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
An interesting book about empathy but starts with so many false premises, it is difficult to separate the good from the bad. For example there is no therapeutic method detailed within the book, nothing there which points to working with young people who have experienced early trauma. More importantly there is no sense of emotional recovery and this colours the whole of the "research" as the imported nihilism becomes a tautology - abused people do not get better and therefore we study how damaged they are. It is an ideology which permeates psychiatry.

What the reader gets is a description of various diagnoses used to stigmatise the other. Some of these issues relate to early attachment trauma, such as the boy from the affluent parents who has no empathy. This was by far the best of the case histories for me, as it brought home the developmental issues inherent in a family which had money wealth power and status. It details how an emotional deficiency is passed on.

The case history of the East European orphans is the sounding bell for the inherent nihilism which pervades the book ie people do not transcend their diagnosis. If you are trashed in early childhood you are inevitably going to be carrying these developmental scars into adulthood. These are going to manifest themselves as intra familial genetic codes. There is a great deal of speculation around voles and oxytocin, tales of rats in cages and a whole range of speculative psychological treatises are relentlessly deployed; triggers, neurons, chemical imbalances. The trouble is none of this is science as it has no proof. But it is however deployed in layperson's terminology as though it has been proved beyond certainty and therefore has legitimacy. It has not.
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7 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Fascinating exploration of an important subject 30 Aug 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
As part of my research for the characters of an upcoming novel, I'd been looking for a book on empathy with case studies of people at different points along the empathy continuum. Not only did "Born for Love" meet my expectations in this respect, it taught me a whole lot more. Written in an informed yet accessible style with plenty of well researched case studies, the book clearly explains what empathy is, how it might have evolved, the conditions needed for its development, and the tragic consequences of impeding that development. It then goes on to make some interesting observations of how our present culture may be creating grave problems for society through its failure to nurture and promote this important faculty within our children.

Thoroughly recommended.
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6 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Most fascinating read 8 Mar 2013
Format:Paperback
Usually I find scientific books somewhat hard to read and follow, they don't exactly tend to be pageturners! However this read I would recommend to everyone and anyone. The implications of the studies and their outcomes are amazing and I find myself telling so many people about this book; what you think doesn't matter and can't possibly be connected ...actually really does/is. The scientific background combined with 'real-life' stories (even though they are American and therefore occasionally a bit crass) make this easy to understand, read and pass on. An extraordinary eye-opener when it comes to (child) psychology and how empathy is indeed essential.
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Good Read 29 Sep 2013
By Jane
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I bought this book for work, but I found it really interesting. It is about more that children and parenting. It helped me clarify my ideas about some of things that are going on now politically, and confirmed my views that our current (conservative) government are on totally the wrong track. Also it is good for understanding children and impacts of trauma and neglect on them, and what parents and others can do to ameliorate that
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars An important book 30 Aug 2013
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
This book should be compulsory reading in all schools,Come to think of it all heads of business and top politicians should read it too. It is a well put together book which clearly shows that compassion and empathy are not just some cosy pleasant righteous way of being. They are essential for the survival of the human race. It's that simple.
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Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Born for Love is an excellent book, recommended, but with some flaws.

Amongst the many I could mention a few of note...

Mention was made of Irish travellers in a manner probably/possibly unlawful in the UK – see..
[...]

Page 98 “Some – but by no means all – Traveler groups are essentially organised crime families “ (Imaging the editor's reaction had it read “..WASP American groups are essentially organised crime families”).

Pp 110-111 “In one criminal Traveler group, for example, a woman devised a scan to rip off Disney....”

Page 262 they contrast Iceland's prison population with America's (much, much bigger) & whilst strictly correct “..less that half a percent”.. should one suspect's have read “.. less than half of one-tenth of a percent...”.

But, overall, an excellent book, recommended.
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Popular Highlights

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&quote;
With empathy, however, you feel the other person’s pain. You’re feeling sorry “with” them, not just “for” them. &quote;
Highlighted by 57 Kindle users
&quote;
When you empathize with someone, you try to see and feel the world from his or her perspective. Your primary feelings are more related to the other person’s situation than your own. But when you sympathize, while you understand what others are going through, you don’t necessarily feel it yourself right now, though you may be moved to help nonetheless. &quote;
Highlighted by 51 Kindle users
&quote;
The essence of empathy is the ability to stand in another’s shoes, to feel what it’s like there and to care about making it better if it hurts. &quote;
Highlighted by 50 Kindle users

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