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Blonde Bombshell [Kindle Edition]

Tom Holt
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (28 customer reviews)

Print List Price: £9.99
Kindle Price: £6.99 includes VAT* & free wireless delivery via Amazon Whispernet
You Save: £3.00 (30%)
Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
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Book Description

A heart-warming tale of Armageddon from one of the funniest, most original voices in comic fiction today . . .

The third planet out from the star was blue, with green splodges. Dirt.

Oh, the bomb thought. And then its courage, determination and nobility-of-spirit subroutines cut in, overriding everything else, adrenalizing its command functions and bypassing its cyberphrenetic nodes. Here goes, said the bomb to itself. Calibrate navigational pod. Engage primary thrusters. Ready auxiliary drive. It knew, in that moment, that its own doom was near; because it was giving itself orders, and it wasn't putting in any 'the's. That was what you did, apparently, when the moment came. You could also turn on a flashing red beacon and a siren, but mercifully these were optional.

Oh #/$+! thought the bomb, and surged on towards Dirt like an avenging angel.

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Product Description


BLONDE BOMBSHELL is a clever, funny, tirelessly inventive, apocalyptic leg-hump of a book. Tom Holt may be the most imaginative satirist to land on our shores since Douglas Adams (Christopher Moore)

A fast-paced, silly romp from a very clever author, with some genuinely laugh-out-loud moments (News of the World)

One of the most ludicrously funny intergalactic shaggy dog stories ever told (Daily Express)

A nifty comic read, fizzing with one-liners... enjoyably deranged (SFX)


BLONDE BOMBSHELL is a clever, funny, tirelessly inventive, apocalyptic leg-hump of a book. Tom Holt may be the most imaginative satirist to land on our shores since Douglas Adams Christopher Moore

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 874 KB
  • Print Length: 369 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1841497789
  • Publisher: Orbit (18 April 2010)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1841497789
  • ISBN-13: 978-1841497785
  • ASIN: B003HV0TS2
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (28 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #50,095 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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More About the Author

Tom Holt's first book was published when he was just thirteen and, to his horror, he was hailed as an infant prodigy. While studying at Oxford, however, he discovered bar billiards and turned from poetry to comic fiction.

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
22 of 22 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Barking mad, but great fun 4 May 2010
By Ripple TOP 500 REVIEWER
A very funny, science fiction tale set in 2017 when the Earth is under threat from a distant planet whose peace is being disturbed by Earth's music - but maybe the smart bombs are a bit smarter than those who designed them after all. Great fun.

The blonde bombshell in question in Tom Holt's latest book of that name is Lucy Pavlov. If you are reading this review in 2017 of course you will know who Lucy Pavlov is. She's the beautiful, talented, wealthy, CEO of PaySoft Industries - the revolutionary operating system that is running on every computer in the world. Of course, if that is indeed the case, then we've got a problem. A very big problem. Because what Lucy doesn't know is that she is literally a blonde bombshell - well she knows she's blonde, just not that her body is a shell for a bomb. A very big and a very smart bomb, but nevertheless a bomb. And she's been sent to destroy the planet. It kind of makes Bill Gates seem OK for the time being.

Yes, it's Sci Fi time - but not the fantasy sci fi type. This is very much in the comic sci fi genre. Tom Holt has something of a cult following although I've never read any of the vast list of previous books he's written. On this evidence, I can certainly understand why he is so popular.

Things started off pretty well with Blonde Bombshell - on the third page I was chuckling away at the line "George spent so much time in no fit state that he was entitled to claim it as his domicile for tax purposes".

So, Lucy, basically a computer probe, has been sent by the Ostar (where the canines live and have pet humans including an adolescent human called `Spot') to blow up the Earth in revenge. What could we have done that has so upset the hounds at the other end of the galaxy?
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Another Holt winner! 16 Jan. 2011
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I love Tom Holt books, although I do find some over-complicated. The Blonde Bombshell is not one of these, being funny, clever, with of course a touch (well, bombshell really) of the unexpected. His characters are likeable and three dimensional, or possibly four dimensional! I couldn't put it down, and would love it to be a series like the immensely enjoyable Portable Door books.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Tom Holt at his usual level! 6 Mar. 2011
By VickiWa
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Tom Holt has moved away from his traditional subject matter and turned his hand to sci-fi. It may be his maiden voyage but he has done a cracking job; this book is most definately up to his usual standard. A couple of Tom Holt's books have perplexed me (for a short time!) but this one didn't.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Amusing, but falls in to lazy sci-fi traps 6 Oct. 2011
By Tom
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
It's 2017, and a distant planet populated by dogs has sent a superweapon to destroy earth - as the incredibly loud music emanating from our millions of televisions, radios and iPods is offending their sensitive canine ears and making life unbearable.

The resulting novel is a strange mixture of some excellent jokes about dogs and octopuses, plus some second-rate jokes about computers and science fiction. It's the bad sci-fi that really ruins it for me, there are too many points where I was left thinking 'if you knew what that word meant, the joke would seem stupid rather than amusing'. The computer jokes are often lazy and seem forced; naming an operating system with a keyboard-mash of 'X's and 'P's makes for a jarring distraction rather than a subtle reference.

However, the pacy plot and clever writing make the book very readable, and there is the usual glut of brilliant Holt one-liners. Worth a try.
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4.0 out of 5 stars Blonde Bombshell 15 Oct. 2013
Tom Holt is truly a master at subverting the normal and with Blonde Bombshell he has unleashed yet another deliciously twisted comic incendiary on the science fiction loving population. On the canine dominated planet of Ostar the peace and quiet so enjoyed by the citizenry is being shattered by the appalling attempts at music being belched out by the primitive human inhabitants of the nearby planet affectionately known as Earth. As much as the citizens of Ostar love their own humans - they buy them shiny collars and little jackets and could almost swear that their lovable pets can read their minds - something most be done to quieten to dim, country cousin style humans that have been left to run wild on Earth.

Being a technologically advanced bunch, the Ostar canines created a smart bomb that could be fitted snugly into a missile and launched towards their noisy neighbours, the intention of course being to blow the Earth into billions upon billions of tiny, soundless particles. The bomb is perfect, as well as being immensely powerful it features the most highly developed artificial intelligence system ever created. As the missile is sent speeding off towards its apocalyptic destiny, it seems that the Earth doesn't stand a chance. Two years pass.

Something is clearly amiss. Much to the chagrin of those on Ostar, on Earth everything is business as usual. It seems that absolutely zero damage has been caused by interstellar weaponry. The smart bomb was unfortunately [or fortunately, depending on which planet you are commenting from] not as smart as it first appeared. Rather than detonating upon impact with Earth, the bomb is in fact living among the humans and having a whale of a time whilst doing so.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars brilliant
Published 1 month ago by alin
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Every dog owner should read this, just in case !
Published 3 months ago by Ian Kirkup
5.0 out of 5 stars Great
Different to his usual style, but very funny. Loved it.
Published 3 months ago by LG
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
enjoyed it
Published 4 months ago by andrew
5.0 out of 5 stars Entertained
Always enjoy the whackyness of a Tom Holt book, this one kept me entertained all the way through
Published 4 months ago by Book devourer
4.0 out of 5 stars Amusing but...
good plot,start well and continues well but the end isn't very funny and is about 20 pages to long!
I've read better by Tom Holt.
Published 13 months ago by The Mighty Zoot!
3.0 out of 5 stars OK
It's OK but like a lot of the later Tom Holt books it gets a bit tedious and repetitive by the end. For me, by far the best Tom Holt books are the early ones, like "Expecting... Read more
Published 15 months ago by ChrisDB
5.0 out of 5 stars A good read.
Very entertaining book in typical Tom Holt style. Not as humorous as some of his other novels but a good plot that makes you want to read on. Read more
Published 22 months ago by oliversmum
5.0 out of 5 stars Tom Holt at his best
This book is definitely one of Tom Holt's best sci fi fantasies. He is funny and also makes you think - I have been giving my own dog some heavy looks since reading this book. Read more
Published 23 months ago by hayherbalist
5.0 out of 5 stars one to read
Super book life turned on its head , fun and easy to read. Tom holt us a master of comedy writing.
Published 23 months ago by Re Lee Annoyed
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