Blind to the Molesting Hands [Paperback]

This book is a chronological account of the author's life with a man who is very psychologically damaged to the point that he has become a danger to other people. Because he was abused and neglected himself as a child, he did not get the help and support that he needed to help him to adapt to society today. As a result of this, he developed a personality disorder which manifested itself in obscene sexual practices, including rape, sexual assault, stalking and harassment.

This is a true story about me. I left a very abusive, dysfunctional family in 1979 when I was 18, and joined the United States Air Force. I was right at home in the military because it tends to recruit in areas of great social and economic deprivation. Arkansas, being the second poorest state in the US, was pretty deprived at that time. That is not to say that everybody in Arkansas grew up in a violent, aggressive, dysfunctional home, but to me, the military was plain sailing compared to what I experienced at home. My technical instructors told me in basic training that they did not think that I would make basic training. What they did not know was that I had survived attempted murder by my own parents, so to me, basic training was pretty much a piece of cake. The problem was that I never had an opportunity to heal, to work through the childhood traumas that brought me to the Air Force in the first place. The story itself centres around a seven year period of my life when I gave up my career in the military to marry a very violent, abusive sex offender. You ask, why would I do such a thing, but violence and abuse was the only kind of love that I had ever known, so selecting a partner who would abuse, degrade and humiliate me was only a natural progression for a person who was physically, emotionally and sexually abused by her carers. I knew no other kind of love. If it were not for the fact that this man was picked up by the police for indecent exposure, I may still be with him, but exposing oneself in public was something that I simply could not reconcile myself with. Believe it or not, I loved him and I probably still do, why else would I have invested so much of my time, energy and money into this project? The problem is that this man is still a danger to society. The police today simply do not take crimes against women seriously, so they let him off with a caution, thereby freeing him to go out and commit more crimes. This man has committed date-rape, marital rape, and all kinds of sexual deviances. He is not a happy man because in addition to his sexual perversions, he mutilates himself and engages in self harm, which indicates that even if he will not admit it to himself, he knows that he needs help. You may ask what ever caused a young, good looking man who could have any woman he wanted to go out and commit such viscious acts against women. The answer is that he was abused too, but his abuse was much more psycholical in nature, as his mother either locked him up in closets, beat him, or just neglected him. So there you have it, two lost souls who were both abused and neglected as children, got together to form an awful relationship. And guess what. I still think about him every single day. I suppose that I still love him. If it had not been for that one little thing, driving around in his car and exposing himself to people, I would probably have forgiven him for all his sins and I would probably be with him today. Now, that is sad, I know. I hope anyone who reads this book can gain a little bit of understanding about what it is like to be abused and then grow up in a world where there is absolutely no support. I think that anybody who has been in an abusive relationship should read this book. Anybody who has been abused as a child should read it. I think that all of the women's charities should keep this book on their bookshelf for battered women to read. I feel that every library should stock this book. I think that men should purchase this book and give it to women who they know are in abusive relationships. My sincerest hope is that people will read my story and not make the same mistakes that I made. If only one person benefits from my sorrow then the tragedy of my life will not have been in vain.
Kind regards,
Krystal Love

Born in Little Rock, Krystal Love joined the United States airforce and served for 15 years. She then moved to England and has been in business since. She has a degree in computer studies from the University of Maryland and has written extensively for magazines, such as Prediction, and newspapers such as the Daily Mail, Daily Mirror and The Tarot Companion.