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Blessing Our Goodbyes: A Gentle Guide to Being with the Dying and Preparing for Your Own Death [Paperback]

Kathie Quinlan
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
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Product details

  • Paperback: 90 pages
  • Publisher: Resource Publications (CA) (30 April 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1610973135
  • ISBN-13: 978-1610973137
  • Product Dimensions: 0.5 x 12.5 x 19.5 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 1,960,894 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Makes the final goodbye a time of peace 19 Dec 2013
Format:Paperback
A gentle, wonderful guide by a hospice nurse about death and dying and how it affects not only those who are on this final, inevitable road, but the loved ones they leave behind. I only wish I had found this book during the last 18 months of my beloved Dad's life. At times leaning towards the saccharine, BLESSING OUR GOODBYES is mainly a soothing, helpful "chat" about questions we all wonder about but don't know where to seek answers - what do the dying feel? How do we act around those dying? What will our own death be like? Quinlan compassionately explores these and other questions in a conversational tone that does much to remove the fear surrounding the thought and experience of death in today's modern world which tries to ignore this inevitable part of life. Quinlan succeeds in making death as natural as birth and in doing so has brought me much comfort and, indeed, makes the final goodbye possible to be a time of peace and blessings as well as a time of sadness.
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Amazon.com: 5.0 out of 5 stars  5 reviews
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful book! 25 Jun 2011
By amatbooks - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback
At long last! This beautifully written book offers wisdom and hope to anyone who is facing the death of a loved one or for those who would like guidance about preparing for their own deaths someday. Through stories culled from her 20 years as director of Isaiah House, a home for the dying in Rochester, NY, Kathie Quinlan addresses the questions many of us have: How should I talk to a dying person? What are some of the signs that the end is near? Will my loved one (or me) be in pain? How do I go on after the death of someone close to me? How can I make sure my wishes are honored at the end of my life? These and other questions are clearly answered in the book.

As I read the book, I felt as if the author were talking directly to me. I especially liked the story about Rose Marie and Anna. The author's tone is compassionate, nonjudgmental, and so comforting. You get the sense that she is a person who loves life and believes that we can live fully until the very end. My heart and spirit were deeply touched by her message of hope in the midst of death - and life!
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Blessing Our Goodbyes 2 Mar 2012
By Story Circle Book Reviews - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback
Indeed, a gentle guide written by hospice director, Kathie Quinlan, who presided over two-bed Isaiah House dedicated to serving dying patients.

"One thing is quite certain: our death will come. Much anguish would be spared, both for individuals and society, if each of us could come to terms with this anticipated, natural, and momentous event in our lives... We know neither the hour nor the day, but at some point each of us will be in the throes of its mystery and majesty."

With stories of some of her charges, references to resources and her own experiences, Quinlan guides us towards the acceptance of what will certainly come. The subject may be intense, but Quinlan shares smiles, even laughter along the way. She reminisces about her mother dying. "Mom, do you think you might be dying?... And her reply? 'I don't know. I've never done it before.'"

People do not want to feel abandoned as they finish their life work. They want to be remembered, so listening to their stories is part of helping them exit this life. When family become distressed because a loved one is not connecting, they must remember that dying is an inward journey and they do not have the strength to be both inward and outward.

Quinlan's third chapter is about being with those who are dying. Much of it is just being there--even in silence. Quinlan coaches us to listen and feel compassion. Later, she writes of some of the Hospice Movement history. Then, she guides us through the grief process. "The pain we feel is just a reminder that we loved so deeply." She counsels us to consider our pain like a stormy sea which will eventually calm.

The last chapter, different in tone, suggests way for us to prepare for our own death, including the writing of our own legacy or ethical will.

Blessing our Goodbyes is a short, quiet and lovingly written guide.

by Judith Helburn
for Story Circle Book Reviews
reviewing books by, for, and about women
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Makes the final goodbye a time of peace 19 Dec 2013
By Judy Croome - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
A gentle, wonderful guide by a hospice nurse about death and dying and how it affects not only those who are on this final, inevitable road, but the loved ones they leave behind. I only wish I had found this book during the last 18 months of my beloved Dad's life. At times leaning towards the saccharine, BLESSING OUR GOODBYES is mainly a soothing, helpful "chat" about questions we all wonder about but don't know where to seek answers - what do the dying feel? How do we act around those dying? What will our own death be like? Quinlan compassionately explores these and other questions in a conversational tone that does much to remove the fear surrounding the thought and experience of death in today's modern world which tries to ignore this inevitable part of life. Quinlan succeeds in making death as natural as birth and in doing so has brought me much comfort and, indeed, makes the final goodbye possible to be a time of peace and blessings as well as a time of sadness.
5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful, concise, humble wisdom. 1 April 2014
By Jeffrey Polgar - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback
I "cut my teeth" in Hospice care under Kathie's tutelage as a medical resident in 2002/3. I am now a medical director of a county hospice in rural NC. The reflections and the stories in her book resonate with my take on the hospice philosophy. I am grateful to her for the gentle and very realistic approach she takes to care of the dying. It has helped me, over the years, affirm the LIVING that my patients with terminal illness are doing! It has also spurred me on to passionate living in conscious awareness of my own mortality. This is a short book (I read it in about 90 mins) that somehow encompasses the core of a wide array of issues. After reading it, I sighed with rejuvenation and thought, "Exactly!"
5.0 out of 5 stars A gentle story worth reading 12 Sep 2013
By Sarah Noble-Moag - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Kathie does a beautiful job sharing her experiences with Hospice care. It's a tender read. I've encouraged friends and family who are struggling with the harsh realities of a loved one's imminent death to read this book. It's even for others who could be lifted up by the faith conveyed in Kathie's journey.
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