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Next was break me to harness. First, a stiff heavy collar on my neck. Then there was a bridle with great side-pieces called blinkers against my eyes. Then there was a small saddle strap that went under my tail: that was the crapper. I hated it, it stopped me having a crap. I never felt more like kicking so I kicked him in the goolies and they swelled up like melons. He had to put the harness on me while balancing his balls with one hand and could only move very slowly. In time I got used to everything (and he got used to swollen balls) and I could do my work as well as my mother. I used to wash up after dinner. Yes, I was a very good horse.
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Next was break me to harness. First, a stiff heavy collar on my neck. Then there was a bridle with great side-pieces called blinkers against my eyes. Then there was a small saddle strap that went under my tail: that was the crapper. I hated it, it stopped me having a crap. I never felt more like kicking so I kicked him in the goolies and they swelled up like melons. He had to put the harness on me while balancing his balls with one hand and could only move very slowly. In time I got used to everything (and he got used to swollen balls) and I could do my work as well as my mother. I used to wash up after dinner. Yes, I was a very good horse.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Black Beauty- According to Spike Milligan is a hilarious book that tells the story of Black Beauty- a horse. It is written by the horse and tells of the different owners, stables and names that it has been through. It has some strong language and it is very violent, so it is definetly not a book for children. It has short chapters and that makes it light reading. The poems at the start of each chapter are very amusing, and every chapter is hilarious. But be warned!-This book could be offending. Black Beauty- According to Spike Milligan is definetly a must buy!!
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Black Beauty according to Spike Milligan is an ecclectic book by most standards. I found it to be very funny in parts but slightly lacking in others which is why I've only given it four stars. The problem is that the actual story is all over the place, although that is because of Beauty moving homes a lot it's also because sometimes it gets a bit too farcical for it's own good and the actual story gets slightly lost in translation. As i said earlier though, when Spike does jump onto a good joke it is definetly going to make you laugh out loud and at only around 100 pages long it's a book you will speed through easily and enjoyably.
The basis of the story is obviously Black Beauty and his life with different owners as he moves from home to home and also job to job. Written in Spike's own style with plenty of comedy on route.
On the whole a very good read although I did feel it could have had more to it.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
This book is one of Spike's finest. It is hard to explain but somehow just his wording of things can leave you in fits of laughter. While it does contain strong language it is unlikely to offend people; the violence is so unlikely and incredible that it is not going to affect children.
I made the mistake of reading this book at school: my teacher got quite annoyed at frequent outbursts of laughter, sniggering and me reading bits aloud. If you are knew to Milligan, what kept you? If you are a veteran, this is one of his finest.
I must for anyone who appreciates his unique brand of humour.
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