Bitch Slap (German Import DVD)

WARNING: This review contains bruised nuts.

What decision do you make if the power suits of Hollywood prevent you from making a feature with unnecessary red tape? You stick up your mid digit, contact a few friends in the industry and make a bitch slapping exploitation movie about big titted lesbian vixens covered in blood and sweat that like to pop pills, shoot guns and kick arse. If your script is loaded with cool dialogue that's guaranteed to make your audience laugh and the story is directed at the right pace with a young, sultry inexperienced cast supported by well-known TV actors then, it's quite possible to show the money grabbing office personnel that you don't need their financial backing and advertising because your movie is good enough to sell on it's own merit.

Bitch Slap succeeds on all accounts and serves up one of the best exploitation b-movies in recent years and comes topped with a large slab of toasted cheese (not literally - of course!). With stunt coordination and fight sequences constructed by Zoë Bell (Kill Bill, Death Proof), and the action scenes handled by the people behind Xena: Princess Warrior and The Legend Of Hercules, and cameo's from the cast of said TV series, you know that this flick not only as ample bosom protecting its heart but it also packs a good solid punch to the nether regions; and, makes no apologies for being exactly what it is... great fun with lots of bounce! So, if you want to sit down, butter a muffin and switch off your brain for a top-notch fun ride then add: a down and out stripper named Trixie; a drug pushing ex-con named Camero and the mysterious Foxy 69 (the cast of Bitch Slap) to your basket; but, you may want to consider the region 1 version that comes with ten extra minutes.

If you like to see attractive women knocking hell out of each other and any man unfortunate enough to meet them, this will please you. The action is so extreme that it resembles the sort of thing Tom and Jerry would get up to. On two separate occasions I thought that people had died in explosions, only for them to turn up shortly afterwards looking a bit singed. So although the acting is mostly deadpan, there is comic intent behind it. If you are prepared to laugh in the face of death, this is very funny.
The film is more about action than plot. There are several McGuffins involved, and flashbacks provide a break from the three leading ladies being violent in the desert, mostly with more violence.
There is a lot of cleavage and leg, but no nudity. I am ambivalent about this. I would have liked to see the three leading actresses's bits, but that would not have suited the mood of the film. In a strange way, the film is very amiable, and somehow manages to treat its stars with respect.
The film was made by some of the people behind "Xena, Warrior Princess" and "Hercules, the Legendary Journeys". Kevin (Hercules) Sorbo has a part, but his sidekick, Michael Hurst, has a much bigger one, unfortunately showing more skin than anyone else. Lucy (Xena) Lawless and her sidekick are hardly recogniseable in cameos as nuns.
There is a documentary included that is almost as long as the film itself, and well worth a look. Michael Hurst is very funny in it.
If you have even the tiniest hint of psychopath in your personality, or if you have a sense of humour, this is well worth viewing.

I will definitely be buying this when it comes out on DVD. Totally entertaining and uses the backstory element in a similar way to Memento (there the similarity ends!). This movie has the best catfight ever! It totally blows away anything I've seen before! Zoe Bell does an amazing job choreographing it. I really hope they do Bitch Slap 2 and Erin Cummings features in it again, she was amazing.

A lot of people are going to write this is a stupid film, but it is written very tongue in cheek and has some great action sequences, and is just pure unadulterated entertainment. It's not for the purists and the thinkers, it's for viewers who just want to sit back and be entertained for an hour and a half.