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5.0 out of 5 stars
BILL-TASTIC!, 14 April 1999
By A Customer
CHINGERS! Seven feet tall, green, scale-covered, violently aggressive. Each of these alien saurian life-forms is equipped with mercilessly cruel talons at the end of each of their four arms and has a mouth of the sharpest alligators teeth. Definitely not a creature you would want your sister to marry. Chingers are the only non-human race that have been discovered in the galaxy that have evolved beyond aboriginal level. Naturally, Humankind must wipe them out before the Chingerkind does likewise to Humans. So began the Human-Chinger war. PHIGERINADON II, a quiet little backwater agricultural planet where interesting events come along no more than twice in every four years. Bill is labouring hard behind his robomule, ploughing a field. Bill has big plans: he's taking a correspondence course in his chosen career as a Technical Fertilizer Operator and all that is on his mind as he ploughs the field is to make sure that his furrows are straight. Well, that and the sight of the lovely young but amply proportioned Inga-Maria Calyphigia bathing in a nearby stream. Bill is then further distracted by a marching military band, and soon abandons his robomule to investigate something which may well fall into the "interesting events" category mentioned earlier. The recruitment sergeant, seeing potential in Bill as a fit, healthy, physically perfect young man, uses all of his powers of persuasion (to say nothing of bribery, drink, drugs, propaganda, hypnosis, etc) and before he realises what he has done Bill has signed on the dotted line and is marched off, along with his fellow recruits in the Empire Space Corps, to Camp Leon Trotsky. THESE are the opening events in Bill, the Galactic Hero by Harry Harrison. The troopers at Camp Leon Trotsky are soon called to arms and Bill and his comrades, Eager Beager, Bowb Brown, Reverend Tembo and Petty Officer Chief Deathwish Drang are soon spacebound and heading for conflict in the Human-Chinger war. For what happens next and to find out how these events lead Bill to become an official Galactic Hero please read the book. It is an excellent Science Fiction story and is also very funny. I don't think it'll spoil anyone's enjoyment of the book if I reveal that by the end of the story Bill ends up with two right arms (useful for shaking hands with yourself!) and the first in a long line of bizarre replacement feet.
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