Having unwrapped my new Bic pen from the two foot wide box Amazon sent it in, I happily started to write some memoirs in the A4 note pad I'd stolen from a small child earlier that day. With a bottle of Blue Nun and some sugar coated monkey nuts at my side, I set about penning my latest ode to existence, entitled 'If I Stick My Hand Up Here, Will My Dreams Come True?'.
For a blissful three hours the pen was wonderful. However as I wended my merry way into the fourth hour of composition, I noticed that the pen was no longer writing what I wanted it to! Instead of recounting the delightful time I went punting on the river with Reverend Chumley on that clear August day when the mescaline was really kicking in, it instead began to write out such odd epithets as: 'Bow to your lord and master Shaberoth, he of the tentacles and oddly shaped genitalia' & 'The sky will rain blood as Shaberoth comes down among you...and waves his oddly shaped genitalia'.
Imagine my surprise!
I was further amazed when said demon lord Shaberoth appeared from the end of the pen in a cloud of sulfur...and waved his oddly shaped genitalia at me. This didn't faze me, having played rugby in my younger days, and I subdued the hellspawn with large Blue Nun and all the monkey nuts he could eat.
So, while the pen did turn out to be possessed, a lovely evening was had by all - until Shaberoth ate my pet guinea pig Winklehoven. I had to kindly ask him to leave at that point.
Other than this slight problem, the pen was very reliable and I still have it.