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Beyond the Veil [Kindle Edition]

Brian Rathbone
1.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)

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  • Length: 15 pages (estimated)
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Book Description

Love knows no boundaries...

In this short story, Vincent Pels struggles to save his daughter in life and death.

Also from this author: The World of Godsland fantasy series
The Dawning of Power trilogy (Omnibus Edition available)
Call of the Herald
Inherited Danger
Dragon Ore

The Balance of Power trilogy (Omnibus Edition available)

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Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 1878 KB
  • Print Length: 15 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: White Wolf Press, LLC (29 Jan. 2011)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • : Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 1.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #676,531 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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More About the Author

Former horse trainer turned writer. Creator of The World of Godsland fantasy series. Active in social networking and media, Rathbone enjoys connecting with his readers online.

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Customer Reviews

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1.3 out of 5 stars
1.3 out of 5 stars
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Beyond the Veil 12 Feb. 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Beyond the Veil.Was a book that I unfortunately just could not get interested in did not finish reading.Was disappointed as had high hopes as was recomended.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars most boring book so far 23 Feb. 2014
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
this book not for me sorry . but l ordered it in error tried it read first chapter then wiped it from my kindle
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15 of 20 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Don't bother 6 July 2011
By Carrie
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This book had a promising start but turned into garbage. Glad it cost me nothing as I wouldn't be happy to pay for it.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) 3.4 out of 5 stars  29 reviews
18 of 18 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Very well written but didn't fully immerse me 1 Jun. 2011
By ĴĴ - Published on
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
After his wife's death, all of Vincent's love and devotion goes to his daughter; he would do anything and fight anyone to keep her safe. As it turns out, he will have to do unimaginable things to protect her life.

"Beyond the Veil" is a short story that discusses two different worlds. The first world is simply the world we all live in where humans go about their daily lives. The second world is where we go when we die, the place where we prepare for our reincarnation (don't worry, it won't push any religion on you). Vincent will have to venture into this second world in order to learn how to save his daughter.

The author's writing style was, for the most part, very good. At the end, it became a bit chaotic and difficult to understand everything that was happening, but otherwise everything is explained well and developed extremely well for a short story.

Despite the development, I still just didn't fully become engrossed in the story; had it been a full length novel, I would have easily become distracted. I'm not entirely sure why this was since the story is very strong in plot and development, but I can only guess that it was because it was a bit predictable. It was a very original story, don't get me wrong, but I just found myself guessing correctly what was ahead; there were no twists or turns, which some people will probably appreciate greatly.

Overall, I just want to say that I highly recommend downloading this short story. It's not perfect, but it's definitely very close! It's quite an excellent short fantasy read that I think most will enjoy.
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Umm... 4 Sept. 2011
By Meori Gaditris - Published on
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This was definitely not a horrible book. Very well written, proper grammar, no typos, etc, however this was a very strange book. This book went from normal life to just plain bizzare. One minute the guy is driving and has an accident and the next minute he's in another realm...literally. It was a bit confusing, since the event takes place almost immediately. Then there are unpronounceable words and demons and fights between the realms and different names for the same people... Again...just plain bizarre. And the weirdness goes all the way to the end of the book. Im all about leaving reality behind when I'm reading a book but this was too much for even me. I have other books by Mr. Rathbone but a little skeptical that the weirdness will continue but still willing to give his other books a shot. If you like being pulled completely BEYOND THE VEIL of reality, then this may be the book for you. But if you're like me and like to keep at least a heel on the ground...move on.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Extremely Substandard 31 Dec. 2012
By Emmy - Published on
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
There is a concept most creative writing classes are taught fairly early on, concerning the believability of characters. This concept is a main facet of character development that discourages the creation of "Mary Sue" characters; ones that are pedantic, unbelievable, and take away from the story.
To begin with, the names Rathborne chose for his characters--Malcifious, Dardra, Kindra, even Kevriel--made me wonder if he wasn't just sitting at a computer with a name generator. I can appreciate a 'fantasy' name here and there, but when they become a main device in character development so early in the story--because god knows there wasn't much else going for those characters--there is definitely something lacking.
But the naming is hardly half of what makes me lean away from this piece of writing.
The opening paragraph was the beginning of the rocky, jumbled journey of this piece. "If only he'd put air in her tires" is the line the author offers to try and explain the circumstances that leave the main character a widower. I seriously doubt that the amount of air in her tires influenced whatever accident the wife was in. I don't mind that Rathborne didn't offer much (or any) explanation concerning the wife's death. But if the husband is seriously blaming himself for her death because it was supposedly his job to put air in her tires (which they teach you to do in driver's ed, and if she couldn't have figured it out for herself the wife really shouldn't have been driving in the first place, ergo she died victim of her own negligence) then the husband's psychological situation should have been better emphasized, rather than touched upon in a single sentence and then left.
And I like to think of myself as a fairly forgiving reader. I didn't mind that, as reviewer Meori Gaditris put it, that the "book went from normal life to just plain bizarre." I didn't even mind that the main character doesn't so much as bat an eyelash at the new situation he's thrown into when he is taken directly from his car to 'beyond the veil,' though it would be a little more relatable if he found the setting he was yanked into as remarkable crappy as this reader did.
It's the narrative that I can't forgive; the description of a river that the main character, Vincent, encounters early in the story is incredibly scientific. The "azure waters streaked with rivers of color ranging from turquoise to violet and obsodian" and the "translucent stones whose colors shifted depending on the angle from which they were viewed." The description is so painfully sterile, you could perform surgery on it. Look at me, I'm writing a review and I'm writing better than this guy.
Anyway, long story short, this short story went on for too long. I'm glad this one was free, because I would have tossed my Kindle out the window if I'd had to pay in anything but time--which I wish I hadn't wasted on reading this story.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Where's the story? 3 Mar. 2014
By Christopher Mentzer - Published on
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Before I got this story, I read some of the other reviews and were surprised at the comment. The reason being, is that I follow Brian on Twitter and he seemed a really decent guy and one who is very creative when it comes to writing.

I read this story putting aside all thoughts of negativity, but I see why the reviews were negative. In Dungeons and Dragons terms, I view this as a "Hack and Slash" adventure. This had all of the action you could ask for but there was no story and no character development. By the time you get to know the characters, the story is already over.

Can't say I would recommend this to anyone, and I'm hesitant to try any of his longer stories.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars 3.5 stars 7 Jan. 2014
By J. Gunnar Grey - Published on
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
3.5 stars for a great concept. The storyline intrigued me but it got kinda chaotic toward the end; a sentence here or there would have clarified the questionable bits nicely. Still a good story and pretty well written. Thanks for the read.
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