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Beyond Orgasm: Dare to be Honest About the Sex You Really Want Paperback – 22 Jul 2002

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) 4 reviews
16 of 16 people found the following review helpful
Secrets Revealed 31 Oct. 2002
By David S. Hall - Published on
Format: Paperback
This latest book is another example of why Marty Klein is one of the most respected sex educators in our country today. Marty takes on the sex negativity of our American culture and names it properly as "The Secrecy Imperative". In nine chapters he outlines how our fear of sexuality, our obsession about Orgasm, and our inability to be honest about what we really want from our sexual encounters has poisoned our ability to truly experience all that a sexual relationship has to offer.
"We live in a world that encourages sexual secrets. These secrets don't protect us or make our lives better the way they are supposed to. On the contrary, these secrets only cripple our true sexual self, which is hidden, ignored, denied, and distorted."
Using examples from his 22 years of clinical practice, he shows how these secrets stop us from being fully ourselves. He describes the very high cost of these secrets, and how they keep us from accepting ourselves as sexually healthy beings, fool us into believing we are not "normal" and trap us in lives that are less than sexually fulfilling. There are a number of wonderful lists of suggestions in each chapter, guidelines for moving toward a more honest view of self, and a more honest communication with our partners. He also admits that honesty is sometimes used to hurt and punish, and give help in understanding how to avoid that trap.
Finally, in Chapter 9, entitled "(Finally) Getting Beyond Orgasm" he describes what is possible in a life lived as honestly as possible. This book is valuable to every person who wants to live a sexually authentic life, reach for what is truly possible in relationships, and understand why we do some of the strange things we do in the name of sex. It is also very valuable for those older adults who worry that the process of aging makes us less worthy as partners, and points out the advantages of maturity over boundless energy. Coupled with his earlier book, "Let Me Count The Ways: Discovering Great Sex Without Intercourse", a world of possibilities opens for every person who takes the time to read them.
A special bonus are the wonderful photos by David Steinberg that grace the pages between chapters. While not particularly explicit (you can show, and give, this book to your kids and your parents) they are very sensual and contribute to the power of the book as a whole.
Buy this book for yourself, and give it as a gift to any one you know that would like an even more fulfilling sexual life.
14 of 14 people found the following review helpful
Sexual self-acceptance and authenticity 28 Feb. 2003
By Ms. VEB - Published on
Format: Paperback
This is a wonderful, very human book about how, why and at what price we hide the truth, especially our sexual truths, from ourselves and each other. Using lots of examples, humor and compassion the author discusses the challenges of self-acceptance, sexual honesty, and genuine intimacy. His writing is so candid and forthright that we, the readers, begin to see how intimate communication is created. This book is good for readers whose loved ones (spouses, kids, siblings, etc.) have trouble with sexual honesty, as well as for readers who are afraid to share their own sexual truths. I recommend this book to everyone who wants to help themselves or others have better sex, love and intimacy through self-acceptance and authenticity.
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
User Friendly Sex Talk 29 Oct. 2002
By Donn King - Published on
Format: Paperback
Dr. Klein has the ability to discuss sex, a subject that most people have learned to shy away from, in the most sensible, straightforward, calm way, as though it is no more remarkable than sports or politics. This is the fourth book of Dr. Klein's that I have read (Ask me Anything, Your Sexual Secrets, Let Me Count the Ways). In each of them, Marty Klein discusses the most intimate sexual topics, with a friendly candor that is reassuring and disarming. Over and over again, throughout Beyond Orgasm and his other books, Dr. Klein offers a down to earth way of looking at sexual situations and problems that simplifies and de-fuses the intimate sexual minefield. Marty Klein's gift is to make the reader feel that sexual problems and impasses in relationships are ordinary and solvable, by using the same common sense approaches that we use to solve any sort of problem.
The title of the book, Beyond Orgasm, refers to the vast realm of sexual experience that lies beyond the rigid adherence to sex as intercourse, and coital orgasm as the goal of sex. Beyond Orgasm also discusses the topic of sexual secrets: the sexual, personal things that we share and often don't share with our partners. Sometimes these secrets are even too scary to admit to ourselves, or if admitted, are too charged with values and emotions to live with comfortably. Dr. Klein writes about when it is useful and not useful to share this information with our partners and how to be self-accepting of our own secrets. Beyond Orgasm is loaded with examples drawn from Dr. Klein's case histories. He uses humor and common sense to describe methods for sharing our intimate, sexual selves, and accepting our own and others' secret intimacies.
Above all, there is a sense of optimism in Beyond Orgasm. The language is fresh and friendly and I came away from the book with a feeling that sex can be fulfilling and liberating. Throughout Beyond Orgasm, I sensed a reassuring, compassionate tone. The language is everyday, caring, and thoughtful. Dr. Klein seems to be saying, "come on now, we can work this out-it's only sex, after all."
9 of 10 people found the following review helpful
Building better sex 11 Feb. 2003
By An appreciative reader - Published on
Format: Paperback
Beyond Orgasm is a very clear and supportive book, addressing directly the many difficulties people experience in being honest about their innermost sexual feelings and desires. Dr. Klein goes a step further in helping give readers a practical means for talking about sex in the larger context of a loving relationship. As a clinical psychologist who knows quite well what harm barriers to effective communication can do in any area of a relationship, I welcome Dr. Klein's ability to encourage a sensible flexibility and openness around some very delicate issues. I highly recommend this book.
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