The Bad Beginning (A Series of Unfortunate Events No.1) [Hardcover]

"Written with old-fashioned flair, this fast-paced book is not for the squeamish: the Baudelaire children are truly sympathetic characters who encounter a multitude of distressing situations. Those who enjoy a little poison in their porridge will find it wicked good fun." Kirkus Reviews

--This text refers to the Unknown Binding edition.

There is nothing to be found in the pages of these books but misery and despair. You still have time to choose something else to read. But if you must know what unpleasantries befall the charming and clever Baudelaire children read on...The three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune and cold porridge for breakfast. Then again, why trouble yourself with the unfortunate resolutions? Avoid these books in Lemony Snicket's international bestselling series and you'll never have to know what happens! --This text refers to the Paperback edition.

Dear Customer,
I am sorry to tell you that this CD is extremely unpleasant. It tells an unhappy tale about three unlucky children. Even though they are charming and clever, the Baudelaire siblings lead lives filled with misery and woe. One might say that they are magnets for misfortune.
On this recording alone, the three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune and cold porridge for breakfast.
It is my sad duty to record these unpleasant tales, but there is nothing stopping you from ignoring this tape completely and choosing something happy instead, if you prefer that sort of thing.
With all due respect, Lemony Snicket

--This text refers to the Unknown Binding edition.

Lemony Snicket has spent several eras researching the travails of the Baudelaire orphans. During his spare time, he gathers evidence and is considered something of an expert by leading authorities. Lemony Snicket published his first book in 1999 and has not had a good night's sleep since. To his horror and dismay, he has no wife or children, only enemies, associates, and the occasional loyal manservant. Lemony Snicket's extended family, if they were alive, would describe him as a distinguished scholar, an amateur connoisseur, and an outright gentleman. --This text refers to the Paperback edition.