When Ruth Picardie died from complications following the misdiagnosis of breast cancer in September 1997, leaving a young husband and two-year-old twins, thousands mourned who'd never met her. Ruth's column in "The Observer" recorded with scalding honesty the progress of her illness and her feelings about living with terminal cancer. "Before I Say Goodbye" brings together these pieces, Ruth's e-mail correspondence with friends, selected letters from readers, and accounts of Ruth's last days by her sister, Justine, and husband Matt.
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About the Author
Ruth Picardie was a prolific journalist, writing on everything from fashion frivolity to film criticism. Her work appeared in The Guardian, Screen International, Marie-Claire, Elle, Mirabella, etc.
Inside This Book
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First Sentence
You're 32, a stone-and-a-half overweight, depressed by the stains on the sofa and have never come to terms with having piggy eyes but, still, life is pretty great: you've got a husband who can make squid ink pasta and has all his own hair, your one-year-old twins are sleeping through the night and, as for your career - well, you might be interviewing George Clooney next week. Read the first page Browse Sample Pages
Front Cover | Copyright | Excerpt | Back Cover
You're 32, a stone-and-a-half overweight, depressed by the stains on the sofa and have never come to terms with having piggy eyes but, still, life is pretty great: you've got a husband who can make squid ink pasta and has all his own hair, your one-year-old twins are sleeping through the night and, as for your career - well, you might be interviewing George Clooney next week. Read the first page Browse Sample Pages
Front Cover | Copyright | Excerpt | Back Cover
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
26 of 26 people found the following review helpful
By E. Capurro
Format:Paperback
This is one of those books that gets handed around from person to person with a "you must read ...". I admit to having had reservations - too many people I knew have recently died of the dreaded "c". Currently living in Chile I felt horribly isolated and unable to help. This book leaves the reader in no doubt as to the kaleidescope of emotions that friends and family go through - the disbelief, the fear, the anger...it was a generous and moving book and I believe that every person who allowed a part of themselves to be published therein should be thanked..I felt an incredible respect for them.
If there is one part of this amazing piece of literature that friend's have repeatedly commented on - it is the piece by Ruth's husband. He revealed his heart and the terrible toll the illness had on their relationship - his honesty took courage and I for one am grateful for his ability to relate his feelings honestly - the good, the bad and the ugly and not resort to platitudes.
A truly moving read.
19 of 19 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
Having read an article about how Ruth Picardie's husband was coping after her death, I was interested to read her book at the beginning of summer 1998. I read it in all innocence but was immediately struck by the similarities between us, both born in 1964, both with two young children. I cried a great deal but strangely laughed too. Her courage and her determination are a gift which she has left behind to fellow sufferers of this dreadful disease. I say fellow because some three months after first reading the book, I became one of the statistics as a young woman with breast cancer. I am one of the lucky ones. My cancer is gone but it was only after that was confirmed that I felt emotionally strong enough to re-read the book. There is so much truth to what she writes. And I wonder still how often I have said to friends that I am allowed to be bolshie because Ruth Picardie says so.
Having read the book, I now grieve for a woman I never met, and I want to help a family I don't even know. She stays alive through her book and maybe through having read it the first time I will also stay alive because she made me more careful and more aware of my own body.
15 of 15 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
I was recommended this book and at first didn't know the consequences and repercussion it would have in my life. I was positively impressed by the strenght that characterises Ruth's writing and the humour with which she deals with her situation. The book is specially touching because cancer is dealt with so much casualness.It's not a book addressed to readers all over the world and is therefore void of artifice or big judgemental phrases. Unfortunately cancer is like that, it's a sincere, and growingly common, illness.. The book is heartbreaking, then again watching someone die slowly in front of you and not being able to react is horrible. I read extracts of this book again when i discovered someone close to me was dying and it touched me like nothing has before. When reading this only ideas of how unfair the world can be, how unpredictable life can be came to my mind. What can Ruth Picardie teach us with this book? For one she can teach us how to fight. Both she and those who were left behind were increadibly strong and its helpful to have connected everyone in something which is so common although it's so terribly sad. Excellent recopilation of e-mails, letters and statements,an easy read and yet so tragic that it chokes you with tears.
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
A short and quickly read book, and perhaps not one which you could cope with at all stages in your life, this is the brief account (kind of parallels the brief life) of the last year of life of a 32 year old London journalist who discovers she has cancer - and the news rapidly gets worse and worse. A collection of her emails (sent and received), some pieces she wrote for the newspaper, and text from her husband, this really tells it how it is (or was) for them. Few euphemisms, and the heart-breaking fact for any parent reading the book that she left behind her twin children (conceived through IVF), who celebrated their 2nd birthday just a few weeks before her death. Good for gaining a basic understanding of what she went through and some empathy for any friends or family you may want to support at such times in the present or future.
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
This book was short, but moving and eloquent. It was one of the bravest, saddest things I have ever read, and I ached for her and her family. My aunt died of leukaemia last year and I found reading the book terribly poignant. It helped me grieve for her as well as for Ruth. I cried until my eyes ached. It was the bravery with which she came to terms with losing her children that I found so moving. Having a small daughter myself I know it is one of the hardest things that a person could be required to do. An amazing book. It stays with me even now.
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Achingly funny, poignant and utterly heartbreaking. Ruths story should be read by everybody who thinks their lives are stale. Do not read in public, even the most hardened cynic can not help but be moved beyond words - particularly as Ruth describes the mundane aspects of dealing with a death sentence when you have a husband, friends, a career, two young children and the hoovering to do. This is not an in depth analysis, and not a sentimental journey, despite the mawkish title. It will stay with you forever - I wept like never before. Read it
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
3.0 out of 5 stars
Touching, but incomplete
This short book has some thought provoking and touching moments, but ultimately I found the discourse of emails hard to follow, with several replies without reading the original... Read more
Published 5 months ago by Peter Court
4.0 out of 5 stars
facing diagnosis...
This is an excellent and moving book...I read it two years after losing one of my closest friends and I found it so helpful, poignant yet funny too. Darkness and light together. Read more
Published 15 months ago by Jwtaylor
4.0 out of 5 stars
Deeply Moving
I have heard of people giving copies of this book to friends or relatives who are suffering from breast cancer or to the family of such sufferers. Read more
Published 17 months ago by boingboing
5.0 out of 5 stars
A devastating story of a women who lost her life far too early
I bought this book because I know people around me who have had cancer and I wanted to see what Ruth went through and how she coped with the news of having cancer. Read more
Published 17 months ago by Angie
5.0 out of 5 stars
LIFE AFFIRMING
I learned of this small but impactive book by listening to Justine Picardie's superb Audio Book which also deals with her sister Ruth's untimely death from Breast Cancer. Read more
Published on 15 Aug 2009 by avid ravid
5.0 out of 5 stars
An Amazing Woman!
Everyone said I was mad to read this and that I would only upset mysef but I am so glad I did. Feeling under the weather I subesequently scolded myself for feeling so down when... Read more
Published on 7 Aug 2007 by Louise Hollow
5.0 out of 5 stars
A must read for everyone
I would suggest everyone reads this book as it gives the reader an insight of how a diagnosis of cancer can affect the person and also the family unit. Read more
Published on 18 Oct 2006 by Flo Night
1.0 out of 5 stars
Uncomfortable reading
I have finally read this book having heard much about it.
Ruth Picardie's early death was an awful tragedy for her and her family and I would not like this review to be... Read more
Published on 11 Oct 2004
5.0 out of 5 stars
Honest and Realistic
"Before I say Goodbye" does not shy away from the word CANCER. Ruth describes what is happening in a bittersweet way in which there is no doubt that cancer is a truly... Read more
Published on 28 Feb 2002
5.0 out of 5 stars
how can you fail to be moved by this book?
I originally read this book over a year ago, and it is one of few that I have chosen to re-read, over and again. Read more
Published on 16 Jan 2002
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