Trust us, we do know what it's like. Although in our case it's mostly excessive consumption of fizzy apple juice that's to blame for our inebriation, we do have a well-honed understanding of the world of beer. And what it can do to a man. There's the beer goggles effect when sizing up members of the opposite sex. The detrimental impact on the speech function. The tendency to... to.... to nod... off. And then there's the loss of brain function such as cognitive reasoning, hand-eye coordination and, let's face it, memory. Now, with beer tracker at hand, loss of memory can be a distant memory. For not only does it perform the role of a beautifully designed bottle opener (despatching its duties with grace and elegance). It also keeps track of the number of bottles you've opened in a session. Think of it as the alcoholic equivalent of a mileometer and it'll see if you can go the distance. And then, the morning after, it'll give you a full and frank account of your drinking prowess in glorious black and white. Assuming you can focus, that is. Of all the many innovative, zany and downright daft bottle openers we've analysed here in the lab, this has to be the one with the clearest functional purpose - other than opening a bottle, that is.