Beatles For Sale [VINYL]

 

 

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[NOTE: I am reissuing my Amazon.com reviews on Amazon.co.uk. This review was originally published on Amazon.com March 17, 1999]

First off, it should be stated that I am more into the late period Beatles than anything (well, actually mid. My favorite Beatles material is anything from Rubber Soul on). I have heard some of their early stuff, but not a lot. Unfortunately, the only record album CD I own of their early material is their worst, Beatles for Sale. All that being said, lets get on with the review.

The Beatles, revered as the most innovative group ever, are nothing save decadent whores on this one, and EMI is the pimp. Beatlemania was at the prime, and they had to produce product. This is all this is, even the title states it. "Beatles For Sale". The Beatles knew this was product. And that is all. Economics wouldn't allow them to create a masterpiece with this one. They make barely a serviceable album with this one, let alone a masterpiece.

They also produce some of their most self-loathing material ever. Almost half the record is dedicated to misery. The opening triad, aka "The Triad of Misery" is indeed one of the most sad and tragic song cycles ever conceived. 10, 12, and 13 are relationships on the rocks. That's almost half the album right there. I think that if The Beatles really wanted to construct an all-out depressing record, it would be a masterpiece. But this isn't it. That's almost half the album right there. The other half is ill-conceived covers and/or originals that are little better than average tunes, making this by far the weakest of all their albums, even weaker than Please Please Me. (Actually, Please Please Me isn't that bad, especially that Twist & Shout). Its rather ironic, the greatest songwriters ever rely on cover material to see their way thru on this one.

Originally this was part of a much longer review, but because of space I as forced to cut it. There was more commentary besides the track review. Anyway, here that is. This is my track by track review of this record.

1-3: These are good serviceable tracks. I call them the Triad of Misery.

1: No Reply: a depressing song about a cheating girlfriend. Its songs like this and Run For Yr Life that make Lennon to be the hypocrite that he is. In his songs he bitches about cheating, and yet he destroys his family with an adulterous affair with Yoko Ono. He obviously knew neither Jesus Christ or cared about his family. In ways, he disgusts me. And yet, this is not the love of God. Adultery is a bitter subject for me, and I cannot be real objective. But I try. And I listen.

2: I'm A Loser: Self confessional. Good song.

3. Baby's In Black: Another sad mistery song. I like it. prime stuff. The triad and Eight Days a Week is easily the best stuff on this record.

4: Rock and Roll Music: Horrible Berry cover. I don't care, I don't like this cover at all. Its interesting to hear them do a cover of Berry, and truthfully it fits in right along with this album. It helps demonstrate just how bad this record truly is.

5. I'll Follow The Sun: Weak track from McC back when he was like 17. They used it as a last minute resort to take up space on this trashy album.

6.Mr. Moonlight: The absolute worst of the worst of the worst of any Beatles tracks (don't you dare say Revolution # 9 is worst, that is one sound collage that actually works). There aren't a lot of bad Beatles songs, but this is definitely one of bad ones. Often regarded by "true" fans as a disgrace. This is the most notorious track of their career they ever recorded (with the possible exception of their sound collage).

7. Medley: Kansas City/Hey Hey Hey Old covers resorted at last resort. More like bootleg material than anything.

8. Eight Days a Week: Only big hit from this album. This is one of the better more serviceable tracks on this record, actually. Its classic early Beatles. Wished I could say the same about the rest of this horrid set.

9. Words of Love: Ill conceived cover, although it is one of the better covers on this record.

10. Honey Don't: Now we get to the Ringo song on this horrendous record. Ringo generally has an interesting song or two on the Beatles records, but unfortunately this one ain't it. Just like the record, this simply doesn't cut it.

11. Every Little Thing: Decent early Beatles song ... nothing classic though.

12. I Don't Want to Spoil the Party: Ditto. A little bit more musical variation, but still the basic formula.

13. What Yr Doing: Basically a lonely sad song, ties in rather nicely with the opening triad of misery. I guess so does 12.

14. Everybody's Trying to Be My Baby: Man, I hate that problem. Such a nuisance. ; ) Definitely no Day in the Life closer here, or even Good Night. Her Majesty is a better closer. Harrison is so buried in echo its pathetic.

Considering who made this, it makes this record even more atrocious. And to think, this is the same band that made Sgt Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band. In contrast to their other great albums, it just magnifies this album's flaws a hundred, a thousand, a million times over. Sgt Pepper=Album of the millennium. It was voted that recently in a British pole. Well, I vote for this to be the worst. But it is also a testament ... in less than three years, they produced Sgt Pepper after this garbage (and this isn't counting the three trend setting ground breaking records they release after this before that watershed record)

Someone said that most people have never heard of this record ... there is a reason for this. This is a blot on the honour of them as musicians. This is by far their worst record. Give me Let It Be or even Yellow Submarine over this damned garbage. LIB had some serviceable tracks, it wasn't a Sgt Pepper, but it was a good record nonetheless. Yellow Submarine is weak because of lack of material. The four new songs that are on it are pretty damn good though (save for All Together, which is just a children-like sing along, but still, its fun. I think it's a good song. Hey Bulldog is the closest to a lost Beatles song that is truly classic as yr gonna get.). On Hard Days night, we come to the only fully written set by Lennon/McCartney. It is revered as a pop classic. Well, old EMI comes along, and at the height of Beatlemania, demand they make another record. They had too, under contract. So they turn in this sorry excuse for an album. They were exhausted. Every right to be. And this set very clearly shows it. Granted, the original material here is decent (with the possible exception of I'll Follow the Sun, which is the weakest of the originals), its pretty average for early Beatles. Actually, it's a little below par. Although the opening triad on this record is one of the most depressing ever pressed on vinyl, the rest sadly sags and lags entirely behind.

In the end, we come to what is without a doubt The Beatles worst LP. There is really atrocious material here, and no real high lights, like on the other records. I honestly believe that had this been any other band, it would have been forgotten (and rightly so). Well ... even at their worst, they outclassed the best. I think if this was another artist the original material would be something of minor classics. Perhaps their best (Herman the Hermits come to mind for some reason).

So in the end, what do I think they should have done? If I were The Beatles (obviously I'm not) and wasn't under contract, I would have scraped this entire album (just like they did with the much more worthy Let It Be/Get Back project). The material just isn't up to their usual par of excellence. The originals off this should have been released as singles, and the covers should have remained unheard until the Anthology series of recent years would then have unearth them. The originals are alright. They might have made a good EP even (the EP would be about as long as 18:47). The covers could be rare obscure tracks (that's all they deserve to be). Then this blunder from the "greatest romance ever" (if you believe all the Anthology Hype ... Oh Daddy, you mean Santa ISN'T real? wah!!!!!) would have been removed.

Anyway ... just my opinion. you might think it's the best thing since Schubert. (Who the hell is he? I keep hearing references to him, especially in the YW submarine liner notes). (not that it matters, but I used to think liner was pronounced just like "linear". Anyway ... like the thing have to do with lines.

Think I'll go listen to MMT or Rubber Soul now.

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