Barney Thomson and the Face of Death: Bloody Murder, Bad Haircuts and Danish Philosophy (Paperback)

The King Was in His Counting House (Book 4) by Douglas Lindsay 4.4 out of 5 stars (5)  £5.99

The Haunting of Barney Thomson (Book 6) by Douglas Lindsay 4.0 out of 5 stars (1)  £5.99

A Prayer for Barney Thomson (Book 3) by Douglas Lindsay 4.2 out of 5 stars (5)  £5.49

The Last Fish Supper (Book 5) by Douglas Lindsay 2.5 out of 5 stars (2)  £5.99

The Cutting Edge of Barney Thomson (Book 2) by Douglas Lindsay 3.2 out of 5 stars (10)  £5.49

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Product Description
In Scotland, four American students are found with their throats slit, and each has been given a chilling haircut. The FBI arrive, but they are too late to prevent another terrible murder, and into this walks Barney Thomson, looking for a short back and sides and a new hair colour.

Excerpted from Barney Thomson & the Face of Death by Douglas Lindsay. Copyright © 2002. Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
He held open the door and allowed the one who was about to take his life to walk unhindered into his home. Almost as if Death himself had arrived, black cape drawn Obi Wan-style down over his head, and had been invited in for a late night snifter.
They sat down on sofas on opposite sides of the coffee table, the Reverend Wilson wincing slightly at the amount of dust which had accumulated in the three and a half years since Mrs Wilson had departed. (He’d told everyone in the village that she’d died, paid MacDuff the undertaker and McLeod the policeman to schtoom, and had conducted a very moving funeral service.)
‘What seems to be the trouble?’ said Wilson, clasping his hands on his thighs and attempting to convey concern. Really he couldn’t care less if this person – or anyone else on the planet, for that matter – got knocked down by a bus.
‘It’s the murder of the four tourists,’ said the killer. ‘I’m really worried.’
‘But there’s no need,’ said Wilson, leaning forward, curiosity mingling with an almost unfeigned concern. He paused, then continued strangely, ‘The mind of the perfect man is a mirror. It does not lean forward or backward in its response to things. It responds to things but conceals nothing of its own. Therefore it is able to deal with things without injury to its reality.’
The killer stared at the vicar. As a young lad his mother had dragged him incessantly to church, and it had fostered within him a hearty disrespect for all these men of God.
‘Look, Bishop,’ the killer said, waving away Wilson’s protestations about the bishop thing, ‘you might think you impress people by quoting Chuang Tzu, but to be perfectly honest with you, Chinese philosophy gets up my butt, you know what I’m saying?’
‘Very well,’ said Wilson, a little irritated. The quote had been completely inappropriate, but he generally found it useful in awkward conversational moments, when his flock were looking for guidance, to recite any old mince that they’d assume came from the Bible. He’d quote the Bible itself, but he hadn’t read it in over fifty years and couldn’t really remember much about it. There were a couple of bits about Jesus which rang a bell, and he was fairly confident about the story of Moses up to the point where he gets stuck in the basket, but after that he was hopeless. ‘What would you like me to do for you?’
‘No, no,’ said the killer, smiling broadly now. ‘You’ve got me wrong, your worshipfulness. I don’t need your help. I’m here to help you.’
Wilson sat back, straightened his shoulders, and looked witheringly across the table. This was not someone who could help him in any way, and if he was about to be asked the question which he presumed he was, his late night guest could get the Hell out of Sodom and leave him in peace.
‘I can’t begin to imagine what that might be,’ said Wilson.
‘That is because you have so little imagination,’ said the killer, who inched forward, then added, ‘To that high Capital, where kingly Death keeps his pale court in beauty and decay, he came!’ quoting the poet Shelley and getting a little overexcited as the words flowed.
‘What?’ said the bish.
‘You’re about to die, old man!’

6 Reviews 5 star:  (4) 4 star:  (1) 3 star:    (0) 2 star:    (0) 1 star:  (1)           Average Customer Review 4.2 out of 5 stars (6 customer reviews)		Share your thoughts with other customers: Create your own review
Most Helpful Customer Reviews   10 of 10 people found the following review helpful: 5.0 out of 5 stars Short but perfectly formed, 19 Sep 2002 By A Customer I bought this book on holiday in Strathpeffer, Scotland, where the book is set. It added a whole new dimension to my break! It's a refreshingly whacky romp through a small Highland town, blurring outrageous plotline with an actual place, I had great fun finding the places mentioned. There were also plenty of chuckles along the way. It's a short book but perfectly formed. Can't wait to try the others. Comment Comment | Permalink | Was this review helpful to you? Yes No (Report this)   9 of 9 people found the following review helpful: 5.0 out of 5 stars As funny as it is short!, 25 Mar 2003 By A Customer This is the 4th Barney Thomson book I've read and, even though it's much shorter than the other three, it's still extremely funny. I read the last third of it whilst having a cup of coffee and a toasted teacake in a rather 'posh' cafe, but I almost sprayed my teacake all over everyone as I read the absolutely bizarre (but very amusing) conclusion! Douglas Lindsay knows just what buttons to press and the right amount of Scottish accent in order to keep the reader reading and the story flowing. Excellent! Comment Comment | Permalink | Was this review helpful to you? Yes No (Report this)   9 of 9 people found the following review helpful: 4.0 out of 5 stars Another laugh-out-loud Barney Thomson misadventure, 9 Jun 2002 By A Customer This one's REALLY funny and filled with all the loony tonsorial trivia, cerebral silliness and pants that Douglas Lindsay does so well. Barney Thomson-o-philes will find it an excellent quick shot to hold them over until the next installment. Chronologically, the action follows the classic 'The Cutting Edge of Barney Thomson' and is a prequel to 'A Prayer for Barney Thomson' (making it #2-1/2 in the series). Once you discover Barney Thomson mysteries, you become something of a BT evangelist. I've insisted that all my friends read the books because I'm tired of laughing alone. Comment Comment | Permalink | Was this review helpful to you? Yes No (Report this) Share your thoughts with other customers: Create your own review › See all 6 customer reviews...		Ad feedback   Most Recent Customer Reviews 5.0 out of 5 stars Like many Scots, it's a bit on the short side A great wee read. Combines the whimsicality of Colin Wilson with the laugh out loud extreme Scottish cynicism of Christopher Brookmyre. Read more Published on 14 Nov 2006 by H. meiehofer 5.0 out of 5 stars Short, funny, a good read Can't agree with the last guy. Sure it's short, but it's no secret. It's excellent for what it is, loads of laughs, there are plenty of ideas more slender than this which are... Read more Published on 4 Oct 2003 1.0 out of 5 stars I shall never believe another Amazon recommendation [...]The book is slim (physically and figuratively) and unfunny. Nothing interesting or amusing happens in it. Read more Published on 3 Jul 2003 by John Styles Search Customer Reviews Only search this product's reviews › See all 6 customer reviews...

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