Bang 'em Up (Vanguard) [Paperback]

I can honestly say I have never chuckled to myself whilst reading a book as much as I have reading this one. I too served at the prison in question for the best part of 10 years. Mr Kelly was always someone that would make you smile no matter how bad things seemed. He was always quick with wit and banter whilst always having a knack of annoying the powers that be.
If you have an interest in what it was like to be held at her Majesties Pleasure in the 90's in one of the most modern prisons in the country whilst being entertained, then this book is most definitely for you. This is a fair an accurate portrayal of the way the service used to be, through the eyes of a great officer, it is also the story of how personality and wit can get you through tough and sticky situations.
The book is written in the style of a series of anecdotes, stories, background information and is littered throughout with Jeff's unmistakable sense of humour.
This has to be one of my favourite books ever I recommend it to anyone, especially if you have any connection to HMP High Down.

In writing this review, I need to say first of all that I've had a particularly special relationship with this book. Not only because I happen to be very good friends with the author, but also because I actually find very little time to read. So when Jeff passed a copy on to me and my wife (personally signed natch!) I warned him that it would take me a long time to finish it. And in fact what I did was read a couple of pages every morning while eating my breakfast and eventually finished the 287 pages in roughly 5 months. Which I could have actually been forgiven for... but what's unforgivable is that it's taken me an additional 3 months to get around to writing the review I'd promised him back in the days when I thought I had lots more time on my hands than I actually did.

But the reason I've waited so long to write this review is more complex than simply not finding the time. OK, I knew this would be more than a one-liner cause I know what I'm like and such a monumental event as a friend getting a book published that actually sells a respectable number of copies is gonna get an equally respectable amount of my time when it comes to evaluating it. But Jeff's account of his experiences within the prison service had more of an impact on me than simply providing a smile or two while biting into my buttered toast.

Simply on the face of it, the book is humorous. I've known Jeff for a number of years and as an American I've always been captivated and fascinated by his sense of humor, as much as his immense capacity for story telling. The kind of story telling that as a small child you'd actually LIVE to have the likes of Jeff send you off to sleep with... bedtime tales that even though they'd give you dreams from which you would wake up shivering under the bed with your fingernails embedded in the floorboards, you'd remember those stories for the rest of your life and you'd think back with fondness on how they even had much to do with enriching your very personality.

And on the face of it, Bang `em Up brought me to a place that I knew nothing about other than what I'd seen from a few classic re-runs of Porridge... and so convincingly so that I have vowed FROM NOW ON to keep my nose totally clean and never EVER do anything that could land me in a place like Highdown... and so this combined with Jeff's awesome gift of story telling and intensely engaging sense of humor actually had me looking forward to waking up to breakfast for 5 consecutively enjoyable months.

But under the surface, the reason I haven't reviewed this book until I could give it the time it deserves is because there is more here than simply engaging story telling and humor. There's something in the way that this book drew me in that I couldn't understand until after I'd actually thought about it for a while... until it finally dawned on me that the impact this book has on the reader is largely down to Jeff's personal compassion. He tells his tale through the eyes of the prison officer, yet he takes great care in making us see also the view through the eyes of the prisoners. In this way we can truly interact with all of his characters and better understand the functionality of the system, and raise our own questions as to its effectiveness in upholding law and order in current times. The language is often blunt, and the humor often dry... but the authenticity is always overwhelming as Jeff carries us through the highly strung emotions on both sides of the bars which few of us will ever experience.

Bang `em Up is not simply a collection of prison life anecdotes, but more of a guide to understanding the psychology behind the punishment of anti-social behavior.
Having said that, there's enough wicked anecdotes to make me lose count of the number of times the fruit juice found its way out through my nose. Breakfast will no longer be the same...

Mr Kelly , Clear those landings!!
At last a book that sums up the life of a Prison officer and tells the reader how it really is behind those walls and gates.
From the very start Jeff Kelly's humour spills onto the pages in his accounts of his Prison Officer career and the events that he witnessed and took part in, right up to lights out!
Having served in HMP Prison Service myself and upon reading this book it's the first one that tells the reader how it really is , and for me brought back many memories, I could even smell those wings and cells again.
Read this book and you will not be disappointed and let Jeff Kelly educated you into prison life and the forgotten service.
Help the heroes also.