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Bang 'em Up
 
 

Bang 'em Up [Kindle Edition]

Jeff Kelly
4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (36 customer reviews)

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Product Description

Product Description

What is it like to work in a prison? The best brief description is to liken it to the cult TV series Porridge, as life inside a prison can be both amusing and very sad at times. This book is about my experiences as a prison officer. There have been many books written by prisoners about their time inside. Some are an accurate account of their experience - others are a complete fantasy. Bang Em Up is an accurate view of what prison is really like: how it smells, what is sounds like, the rationale behind some of the many prison rules and regimes, who ends up in prison and just what it is like inside these secret institutions where all life is played out. Bang Em Up will tell it how it really is in prison and will leave it up to the reader to decide on how futile or useful prisons are. It will make you laugh and sometimes shock you. It will give an unprecedented insight into prison life. It will pose challenging questions and reveal the moral dilemmas of the prison regime but, most of all, it will entertain, educate and amuse you.

About the Author

Jeff Kelly has worked as a prison officer for twelve years in a local prison housing some of the country's most dangerous prisoners. He was a hostage negotiator. Jeff's background would never have suggested a career in the prison service and many associates from his past have been on the wrong side of the bars. However it is the life skills learnt on the south London council estates that gave Jeff the skills to perform the role of a prison officer with authority, firmness, fairness and above all with good humour and compassion.

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 329 KB
  • Print Length: 287 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: Jeff Kelly; 1 edition (29 Sep 2009)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B0080HCM2E
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (36 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #76,449 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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More About the Author

Jeff Kelly has worked as a prison officer for twelve years in a local prison housing some of the country's most dangerous prisoners. He was a hostage negotiator. Jeff's background would never have suggested a career in the prison service and many associates from his past have been on the wrong side of the bars. However it is the life skills learnt on the south London council estates that gave Jeff the skills to perform the role of a prison officer with authority, firmness, fairness and above all with good humour and compassion.

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
12 of 14 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars One of the funniest books I have ever read. 14 Oct 2009
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I can honestly say I have never chuckled to myself whilst reading a book as much as I have reading this one. I too served at the prison in question for the best part of 10 years. Mr Kelly was always someone that would make you smile no matter how bad things seemed. He was always quick with wit and banter whilst always having a knack of annoying the powers that be.
If you have an interest in what it was like to be held at her Majesties Pleasure in the 90's in one of the most modern prisons in the country whilst being entertained, then this book is most definitely for you. This is a fair an accurate portrayal of the way the service used to be, through the eyes of a great officer, it is also the story of how personality and wit can get you through tough and sticky situations.
The book is written in the style of a series of anecdotes, stories, background information and is littered throughout with Jeff's unmistakable sense of humour.
This has to be one of my favourite books ever I recommend it to anyone, especially if you have any connection to HMP High Down.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Bang em Up 14 Oct 2009
Format:Paperback
Mr Kelly , Clear those landings!!
At last a book that sums up the life of a Prison officer and tells the reader how it really is behind those walls and gates.
From the very start Jeff Kelly's humour spills onto the pages in his accounts of his Prison Officer career and the events that he witnessed and took part in, right up to lights out!
Having served in HMP Prison Service myself and upon reading this book it's the first one that tells the reader how it really is , and for me brought back many memories, I could even smell those wings and cells again.
Read this book and you will not be disappointed and let Jeff Kelly educated you into prison life and the forgotten service.
Help the heroes also.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Essential reading 25 Oct 2009
Format:Paperback
Bang 'Em Up is a fantastically honest and sometimes hilarious account of the modern life of a prison officer who refuses to be bamboozled by small print or office politics. Author Jeff Kelly confesses frankly that he went into the prison service entirely lured by the steady pay and the certain pension but he stayed to get totally involved with the prisoners and his fellow officers. Anybody remotely involved with prisons - from probation officers to magistrates should read this book.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Captivating, Constructive, and Entertaining! 12 Feb 2010
Format:Paperback
5 stars for this brilliant author Jeff Kelly who wrote a fantastic book about his experiences as a prison officer. It provided an insight to the life in prison and the dangers of being a prison officer. It is a snap of reality geared towards the humble tax payer helping them visualize what really happens behind the prison walls. I highly recommend this book!
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars GET THE GOPPING ANIMALS AWAY!! 21 Aug 2010
Format:Paperback
I had the pleasure of working with, I mean attending with the author Mr Kelly at HMP Highdown for a number of years.
He really has captured the way in which both prison officers and prisoners got through each day in a highly charged and stressful environment that few people will ever experience. The main thing that shone through was the sense of humour that staff and prisoners required to carry you through on a daily basis but sadly that was exactly what the senior 'mis-management team', (govnurs) disliked as Mr Kelly most eloquently highlighted and from my experience has completely destroyed what was a service that you were proud to be part of and indeed be proud of wearing the Queens crowns on your shoulders.
I would thoroughly recommend this book to anyone who wants a real and true insight into how one of the countries toughest jails was run by some of the best staff I have had the privilege to work,(attend) alongside. I certainly hope a copy has been left in the 'Library' for the staff to read in their spare time. Well done Mr Kelly, I hope you are making s--t loads!!
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3.0 out of 5 stars We need prisons, but... 7 Nov 2014
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
As a society we can't expect faint-hearted philosophers to do what is necessary to keep prisoners where they should be and from harming themselves and others around them; we need fit, tough, and resourceful people prepared to go in no matter what the situation, to restore order. This book is about such a man. It is not particularly well-written and I think it leaves a lot unsaid between the lines, but it gives a feel for the aura of frustration, depression and often hopelessness that pervades prison life. Do we, should we, just slam the door on them and forget them? Read this and find out.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Read this! 24 Oct 2009
Format:Paperback
A fascinating insight into a hidden world which is injected with a lot of humour throughout making this a cracking, as well as an informative read. I couldn't put it down!
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Breakfast at Highdown 6 Jun 2010
Format:Paperback
In writing this review, I need to say first of all that I've had a particularly special relationship with this book. Not only because I happen to be very good friends with the author, but also because I actually find very little time to read. So when Jeff passed a copy on to me and my wife (personally signed natch!) I warned him that it would take me a long time to finish it. And in fact what I did was read a couple of pages every morning while eating my breakfast and eventually finished the 287 pages in roughly 5 months. Which I could have actually been forgiven for... but what's unforgivable is that it's taken me an additional 3 months to get around to writing the review I'd promised him back in the days when I thought I had lots more time on my hands than I actually did.

But the reason I've waited so long to write this review is more complex than simply not finding the time. OK, I knew this would be more than a one-liner cause I know what I'm like and such a monumental event as a friend getting a book published that actually sells a respectable number of copies is gonna get an equally respectable amount of my time when it comes to evaluating it. But Jeff's account of his experiences within the prison service had more of an impact on me than simply providing a smile or two while biting into my buttered toast.

Simply on the face of it, the book is humorous. I've known Jeff for a number of years and as an American I've always been captivated and fascinated by his sense of humor, as much as his immense capacity for story telling. The kind of story telling that as a small child you'd actually LIVE to have the likes of Jeff send you off to sleep with...
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars entertaining and informative
A better read than I expected from a free book, now a few years old. I found myself reading at every opportunity. I recommend it.
Published 15 days ago by Sarah Wolfe
5.0 out of 5 stars good read
Really enjoyed this insight into prison life
Published 3 months ago by Amazon Customer
2.0 out of 5 stars I did give it a try but got a bit bored and didnt finish it
Not my kind of book, I did give it a try but got a bit bored and didnt finish it.
Published 5 months ago by Maralyn Smith
1.0 out of 5 stars Unable to read
Ordered this book for my holiday. Started to read it and found only 13 pages had been delivered - one page per chapter!
Published 6 months ago by suzi
5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome
I've read this book a few times now and I still really enjoy it. Jeff is a down to earth bloke who reminds me so much of my father a proper say it like it is man. Read more
Published 6 months ago by Mrs. K. L. Nolan
4.0 out of 5 stars A very good book.
A very open and honest book. It made me laugh in parts and feel sad at others. Very well written, I would recommend it to others.
Published 6 months ago by rona payne
1.0 out of 5 stars disappointing ,and really not funny .
totally disappointing . the author clearly has an attitude and negative view of the prison service.he represents himself as a self righteous,super duper prison officer, well... Read more
Published 6 months ago by mandy
5.0 out of 5 stars book
I really enjoy this book best book to read could put this book down a must read book love it
Published 10 months ago by deeclee
5.0 out of 5 stars the truth
I to was an officer and found this book to be spot on no one knows what goes on inside the feeling of being worthless because of outdated management governors who are fast tracked... Read more
Published 11 months ago by barry
5.0 out of 5 stars Interesting and Funny
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I found the authors style of writing very simplistic and a breath of fresh air. Read more
Published 15 months ago by Guards7616
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