Some quotes from the book...
'... I regretfully had to ask my man to take me home so that I could be alone with my bowels.'
'... She tried to kill me there and then on her veranda.'
'... I became confused when she climbed under the bed sheets - and instead of asking me to join her - asked if I could possibly read her "a bit of Harry Potter".'
'..."If you aren't out of here in ten seconds," she said, "I'll chop your fucking balls off."'
'...I'd been shat on.'
'...it was like kissing a corpse.'
'... It quickly became very clear that I was in my underpants in bed with two unknown Germans; who were slightly bewildered but certainly not hostile.'
Everyone knows the wincing, blushing, cringing horror that is a BAD DATE.