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BIFF: Quick Responses to High Conflict People, Their Hostile Emails, Personal Attacks and Social Media Meltdowns Paperback – 1 May 2011


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Product details

  • Paperback: 158 pages
  • Publisher: HCI Press (1 May 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1936268353
  • ISBN-13: 978-1936268351
  • Product Dimensions: 15.2 x 0.9 x 22.9 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 835,803 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By bakermouse on 17 Jun. 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I read this recently along with `It's All Your Fault'. Bill Eddy's struck gold: this stuff really works! This is the first book I've come that teaches us how to deal with high conflict people, that is, the MOST difficult people. If you're a great communicator, you're well read on the topics of disagreement and conflict resolution, but you just can't get through, this is the book for you. I also think that dealing with (the most) difficult people is a great life skill. Most disagreement or conflict books seem to cover ground on dealing with people who are reasonable, this one helps you to understand how to resolve conflict when the relationship matters and the person is not, or cannot, be reasonable. I highly recommend this book and Bill Eddy's other book `It's All Your Fault', his website www.highconflictinstitute.com is great too (read it to get more of a feel for what's in BIFF). This is the distilled wisdom of a very bright chap. From this book I've learnt how to deal with a complicated person in a simple, easy to understand way, and we're both benefiting. Prior to reading this I had been getting bogged down with books on paranoia, borderline, dealing with emotional vampires, walking on eggshells etc. they helped me to understand the situation, but it wasn't until I read BIFF that I found to tools to solve the problem.
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By Lyn P on 8 Jun. 2014
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I wish I had read this book years ago, it is for everyone. It should be required reading for everyone.
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By Gary on 5 Oct. 2014
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Very useful and helped me deal with issues more effectively.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)

Amazon.com: 36 reviews
34 of 34 people found the following review helpful
Superb Book, Very Helpful Technique 17 Jun. 2011
By David J. Spellman - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This is an excellent book.
Bill Eddy, an experienced lawyer and LCSW, is an expert on "High Conflict People."
In fact, the chart on Axis II on page 15 is alone worth the price of the book!
Bill advises that we respond to communications from High Conflict People with BIFF...a response that is Brief, Informative, Friendly and Firm.
I see the wisdom in Bill's approach.
But it is a challenge to my lawyerly instincts, because of the old legal maxim that "silence is assent" I tend to be sure to address and refute each allegation, point-by-point. But that just feeds into the dynamic of the High Conflict Person with whom I am communicating!
This is a very wise and helpful book.
16 of 16 people found the following review helpful
Great examples clearly explained 5 May 2012
By Word Crafter - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
When you have to deal with a hostile person, responding with hostility just escalates the conflict. Eddy advises keeping your responses Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm. He presents several real-life examples. Even better, he recognizes that it takes practice to use the BIFF formula. Several of his examples show how to take a first attempt at a BIFF reply and improve it. Eddy is an expert who knows how to explain his knowledge in a clear, practical way.
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
A very useful book to have for anyone 7 Jun. 2013
By Carole Colquehoun - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I have been using the BIFFs in my daily life ever since I read this book. I find it makes my life a lot simpler to be able to say, "Do I really need to respond to that?" Most of the time the answer is "No."
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
All the pieces fall in place 30 May 2013
By Gregory N. River - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
The standard human approach never works with a High Conflict Personlity. In fact, acting like a normal human being with a HCP only makes things worse. This book draws a concise roadmap. And...practice makes perfect.
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
Great for Anyone! 25 Mar. 2013
By Amazon Customer - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
This is a MUST for someone dealing with a High Conflict Person, but great for anyone as well. Eventually, we all come across these people, or possibly recognize these negative (but changeable) traits in ourselves.
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