A practical relationship book that promises to help you find and keep love by understanding the science of adult attachment
Attached
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Review
'A groundbreaking book that redefines what it means to be in a relationship' --John Gray, PhD, bestselling author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus
'Chock-full of tips, questionnaires and case studies, this is a solidly researched and intriguing approach to the perennial trials of "looking for love in all the right places" and improving existing relationships'
--Publishers Weekly
'Amir Levine and Rachel Heller have written a very smart book: It is clear, easy to read and insightful. It's a valuable tool whether you are just entering a relationship with a new partner or -as in my case - even after you've been married 21 years, and had thought you knew everything about your spouse.' --Mariette DiChristina, editor in chief, Scientific American
'Attached is a fascinating and enormously useful guide to one of life's most important ventures -finding and sustaining a secure, satisfying love relationship. Based on twenty-five years of research, laced with vivid and instructive examples, and enriched with interesting and well-designed exercises, the book provides deep insights and invaluable skills that will benefit every reader.' --Phillip R. Shaver, PhD, Distinguished Professor of Psychology, University of California, Davis and Past President, International Association for Relationship Research
'Cinderella's prince passionately turned his kingdom upside down simply to find her perfectly shaped foot, and they lived happily ever after. This book is for the rest of us. Whether already in a relationship or prospecting, Attached is intended to coach the "you" part of "just the two of you". The authors have distilled years of attachment theory research on the nature of human relationships into a practical, highly readable guide, allowing its users to prevent or untangle doomed relationships or predict and enhance those that will wear well and fit for a lifetime.' --John B. Herman, M.D., Associate Chief of Psychiatry and Distinguished Scholar of Medical Psychiatry, Massachusetts General Hospital and Associate Professor of Psychiatry, Harvard Medical School
'This book is both fascinating and fun. Attached will help every reader understand whom they are attracted to as partners, why, and what they can do to reach fulfillment in love. I enjoyed every moment.' --Janet Klosko, PhD., co-author of the US bestseller Reinventing Your Life
'A practical, enjoyable guide to forming rewarding romantic relationships.' --Kirkus Reviews
'Chock-full of tips, questionnaires and case studies, this is a solidly researched and intriguing approach to the perennial trials of "looking for love in all the right places" and improving existing relationships'
--Publishers Weekly
'Amir Levine and Rachel Heller have written a very smart book: It is clear, easy to read and insightful. It's a valuable tool whether you are just entering a relationship with a new partner or -as in my case - even after you've been married 21 years, and had thought you knew everything about your spouse.' --Mariette DiChristina, editor in chief, Scientific American
'Attached is a fascinating and enormously useful guide to one of life's most important ventures -finding and sustaining a secure, satisfying love relationship. Based on twenty-five years of research, laced with vivid and instructive examples, and enriched with interesting and well-designed exercises, the book provides deep insights and invaluable skills that will benefit every reader.' --Phillip R. Shaver, PhD, Distinguished Professor of Psychology, University of California, Davis and Past President, International Association for Relationship Research
'Cinderella's prince passionately turned his kingdom upside down simply to find her perfectly shaped foot, and they lived happily ever after. This book is for the rest of us. Whether already in a relationship or prospecting, Attached is intended to coach the "you" part of "just the two of you". The authors have distilled years of attachment theory research on the nature of human relationships into a practical, highly readable guide, allowing its users to prevent or untangle doomed relationships or predict and enhance those that will wear well and fit for a lifetime.' --John B. Herman, M.D., Associate Chief of Psychiatry and Distinguished Scholar of Medical Psychiatry, Massachusetts General Hospital and Associate Professor of Psychiatry, Harvard Medical School
'This book is both fascinating and fun. Attached will help every reader understand whom they are attracted to as partners, why, and what they can do to reach fulfillment in love. I enjoyed every moment.' --Janet Klosko, PhD., co-author of the US bestseller Reinventing Your Life
'A practical, enjoyable guide to forming rewarding romantic relationships.' --Kirkus Reviews
Book Description
We now know that the desire to become attached to a partner is a natural human drive - not a weak attribute of clingy females, as some would argue! And according to the new science of attachment, every person behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways: - ANXIOUS people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner’s ability to love them back. - AVOIDANT people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimise closeness. - SECURE people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving. Dr Amir Levine and Rachel Heller help you understand the three attachment styles, identify your own and recognise the styles of others so that you can find compatible partners or improve your existing relationship. Packed with fascinating psychology and case studies from successful - and unsuccessful - couples you can discover how to avoid the Anxious-Avoidant trap, why Secures can partner any type and how to love the Secure way. Attached is your road map to the perfect match and lasting love
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
By Louisa
Format:Paperback
Dear all Review Readers....
I recently split up with someone - fairly mutual because it wasn't working...there were subtle and obvious issues however i wanted to work at it & he wanted to run away - fool of a man.
Anyway, I saw this book in a bookshop but didn't buy it incase it was a read that would make me feel more shame than i felt at the time (some self help books do that right?)...however a few days later the book was still on my mind so i bought it on here and read it within a few days! Life changing read and I have recommended to it loads of friends too.
Its been a breath of fresh air and helped me realise the issues in our relationship were not all because of me (thats how i felt) and there is nothing wrong in wanting closeness and intimacy in a relationship - thats totally normal and i wasn't being unreasonable! He just didn't like getting close and kept me at arms length which kept my anxiety on high alert.
'you are only as needy as your unmet needs' this sentence from the book soothed my feelings of blame and helped me see this recent relationship and previous ones in a new light.
Now, I am also starting to see myself and my normal human needs and rights more positively, and am developing a new secure perspective to relationships & dating too.
Please buy this - if it tickles your fancy, there's a reason why and am sure it will help you too x
I recently split up with someone - fairly mutual because it wasn't working...there were subtle and obvious issues however i wanted to work at it & he wanted to run away - fool of a man.
Anyway, I saw this book in a bookshop but didn't buy it incase it was a read that would make me feel more shame than i felt at the time (some self help books do that right?)...however a few days later the book was still on my mind so i bought it on here and read it within a few days! Life changing read and I have recommended to it loads of friends too.
Its been a breath of fresh air and helped me realise the issues in our relationship were not all because of me (thats how i felt) and there is nothing wrong in wanting closeness and intimacy in a relationship - thats totally normal and i wasn't being unreasonable! He just didn't like getting close and kept me at arms length which kept my anxiety on high alert.
'you are only as needy as your unmet needs' this sentence from the book soothed my feelings of blame and helped me see this recent relationship and previous ones in a new light.
Now, I am also starting to see myself and my normal human needs and rights more positively, and am developing a new secure perspective to relationships & dating too.
Please buy this - if it tickles your fancy, there's a reason why and am sure it will help you too x
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
By Charlie
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
This is the first time I have ever reviewed a book on Amazon but this book has helped me so much that I felt compelled to tell others about it. If only I had read it 2 years ago, it could have saved me so much heartache! For the first time ever I understand what was going on in my previous loving but turbulent relationship. The book has also taught me that it wasn't me that had the problem and that I need to move on, because love does not conquer all and me and my ex are, and always will be, emotionally incompatible. The book also teaches you how not to fall into the same trap again - priceless!
12 of 13 people found the following review helpful
By Cathy
Format:Paperback
This book is almost a scientific treatise on attachment theory, originally applied to babies but apparently applicable to adults. It suggests that people have three principal attachment mechanisms: anxious, avoidant and secure. It spells out the kind of behaviour a person engages in depending on their attachment mechanism, and explains why it is so. From my own point of view, I found it extremely helpful in understanding what I believed to be my negative behaviour - having been called 'needy' and 'hard work' up till now. The book empowers you to deal with unhappiness resulting from not understanding your own behaviour and that of your partner. Personally I feel that avoidant and secure attachment types may not read this since they (apparently) are unlikely to examine their own behaviour! But for us anxious types I recommend it as a godsend for alleviating the misery, dissatisfaction and heartache resulting from the anxious/avoidant connection most of us make; for permitting the expression of one's own emotional needs (it almost begs you to consider them as important); and for tips on how to communicate (again, almost begging you not to "act out" for your own happiness). It tells you how to recognise the anxious/avoidant trap, how to be able to recognise, and welcome, the secure attachment types (who are in the majority although not the most common in the dating pool), and how ultimately to work towards a happier and more normal state of mind and relationship. I am so happy I stumbled across this book.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars
Thought provoking!
This book was recommended to me and I found it fascinating how I could discern "types" from the descriptors in the book. Read more
Published 12 days ago by Jane Trevor
5.0 out of 5 stars
Helpful
If you struggle with understanding yourself firstly and then difficulty understanding your partner- this gives you some insight into attachment types
Published 1 month ago by Tina
5.0 out of 5 stars
Life changing!
This book is simply brilliant - for anyone in love or looking for love. It's insight into how we all tick in relationships is invaluable. Read more
Published 4 months ago by clarey
5.0 out of 5 stars
excellent book
i think this is a 'must have' addition to any library if you care a jot about your romantic relationships. Read more
Published 8 months ago by Jane Brown
5.0 out of 5 stars
Perfect - and an antidote to all those relationship books that tell...
This book is, quite simply, wonderful. As I read it, a feeling of relief spread over me: finally, a book that tells me it's okay to feel how I feel, to express those feelings, and... Read more
Published 10 months ago by CJ Savernake
4.0 out of 5 stars
Attached: Identify your attachemnt style and find your perfect match
I am currently reading this book and I am finding it quite an eye opener. Some people on the US Amazon site have criticised it for being too heavily biased towards the Anxious... Read more
Published 13 months ago by A Reader
5.0 out of 5 stars
Attached
One of the best relationship books I have read. After struggling with my relationship with my ex for 5 years, finally realised what I should have noticed at the beginning, that he... Read more
Published 18 months ago by Cooljools
5.0 out of 5 stars
Clarity at last
Great book- makes dating behaviour and relationship behaviour seem very predictable and simple- whether you can change it or not. Read more
Published 20 months ago by Clare
4.0 out of 5 stars
ATTACHED
Great book for those who wish to know their attachment style and who want to act on the information. Read more
Published 21 months ago by Cwip
5.0 out of 5 stars
A revelation!
I read an article quoting from this book and thought this might explain my lack of success in the relationship stakes. I was not disappointed. Read more
Published 21 months ago by Fenella
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