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The Asperkid's (Secret) Book of Social Rules: The Handbook of Not-So-Obvious Social Guidelines for Tweens and Teens With Asperger Syndrome Paperback – Illustrated, 15 Sep 2012


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This is no doubt a very helpful guide, covering a wide range of issues from Facebook, privacy, power games people play and how to deal with them, and above all it may help to develop a better understanding of how to avoid social traps and become a strong self-confident adult. The book will be of great interest to female and male adolescents and adults with Asperger syndrome. It offers some practice items and examples using comics. -- Debate The insights it gives are very comprehensive, everything from how and when to thank people to how to cope with criticism. -- Autism Support Crawley, Heather Eves A book always has faults. Right? Not in this case! I just can't find a bad thing to say about it. Written as a self-help guide for 'Asperkids' it's chock-full of insightful, practical advice on how to successfully sail the seas of planet NT and succeed... The book is warm, witty and wise and at GBP13.99 it's a bargain. It's written to be read by 'Tweens and Teens' on the spectrum but could easily be used by teachers, parents, and therapy folk as resource material for individual or group teaching and support. Go buy it! -- Positive About Autism Blog O'Toole is uniquely qualified to write this book - she's the proud mother of three "Asperkids," she's married to an "Asperguy," and is herself an "aspie." This crucial guide to social interactions begins with a list of 125 "Need-to-Knows," which run the gamut from platitudes ("The bigg3est mistake you can make is being too afraid to make one.") to simple reminders ("Graciously accept compliments with a simple smile and 'thank you'") and bits of wisdom ("Anger is abnd0aid emotion. It's a real thing - but the wound you have to heal is underneath the anger.")... While aimed to help those with Asperger's navigate the world, O'Toole's approachable guide is also an invaluable resource for friends and family members of Aspies. -- Publishers Weekly Her American sense of fun comes out strongly in her writing, and the black and white comic-style illustrations add to the humorous approach... There is emphasis on not giving up, on starting over when things go wrong and on learning what a special and unique person you are. This will be a really useful tool for both Aspies and their families, and it fills a gap that needed to be filled. -- Healthy Books I completely agree with Jennifer, and think the way she says it is just great; these skills and explanations are absolutely necessary to young people's success. -- Temple Grandin, author of Thinking in Pictures Asperteens rejoice! Finally someone has produced a guide to the mysteries of teenage social etiquette. Jennifer's brilliant writing style serves up huge, life-changing advice in small, bite-sized chunks, making this an invaluable reference point for navigating the difficult path between childhood and adult life. If you're a teenager, buy a copy. If you're older, buy one too - it's never too late to learn those 'secret rules' and apply them in your life. -- Helen Wallace-Iles, Founder and Director, Autism All-Stars UK, and mother of four children on the Autism spectrum The joy of knowing that the mistakes of the past have a good chance of melting away is the real, not-so-secret ingredient that makes this book shine. -- Michael John Carley, Executive Director, GRASP, ASTEP, and author of Asperger's From the Inside-Out Wow! This book is awesome. Jennifer O'Toole's The Asperkid's (Secret) Book of Social Rules is a triumph of words, wisdom and wit. It is a fun yet oh so important set of keys that will help Asperkids of all ages unlock virtually every mystery the NT world holds. I love it! -- Liane Holliday Willey, author of Pretending to be Normal and Safety Skills for Asperger Women Jennifer O'Toole has done it again. Reading this book was like dipping into a bag of wonderful treasures. A very comprehensive guide to social rules for Aspies and a brilliant reminder of just how much NTs take for granted and how hard our Asperkids have to work each day. This book serves as a 'universal translator' and will strengthen relationships between Aspies and NTs everywhere. As a mother, I particularly found Chapter 20 on meltdowns helpful, and need to remember to 'smell the flowers and blow out the candles' just as much as my little Asperkid. Our whole family is adopting the Asperkid positivity vibe. Jennifer is like the favourite Aunt and best friend we all wish we had. If I could choose one book to give to my little boy as he grows up, this would be it.' -- Rebecca Mitchell, UK Psychotherapist (MBACP), author of the blog lovingmartians.wordpress.com, and very proud Mum to one Asperboy superhero and his equally amazing NT supersister Jennifer Cook O'Toole has done it again with The Asperkid's (Secret) Book of Social Rules. Jennifer is the queen of understanding and helping others to understand the ins and out of Asperger syndrome. In this book Jennifer hits on all of the important issues tweens and teens face and provides ways for your Asperkids to thrive during this challenging time. Learn rules like "to be interesting to other people, you first have to be interested in them", "one mistake does not break a friendship", "being right isn't always the most important thing even when it feels that way", and so much more. As the mother of an eight year old with non-verbal learning disorder, ADD, and SPD, this book is the first I grab to help both me and my amazing little gal. An incredible book by an incredible woman. -- Lisa Davis, MPH, creator, host, and producer of It's Your Health Radio and It's Your Health TV Not only is The Asperkid's Secret Book of Social Rules a book for Asperkid teens and tweens, it is also a book for their parents, caregivers and for anyone who grew up Aspie and wants to understand themselves and the world around them better. Being undiagnosed until in my 40s, this is the book I wish I had when I was a teenager. Thank you Jennifer, for not only making these social rules no longer 'secret' but for helping create a social survival guide that helps promote acceptance, enrichment, inspiration and empowerment for Asperkids everywhere! -- Karen Krejcha, Executive Director of Autism Empowerment (www.autismempowerment.org), Aspie, GRASP 2012 DSM Award winner, and loving mom of two sons with autism and Asperger syndrome The Asperkid's (Secret) Book of Social Rules is a must-have resource for tweens and teens with Asperger syndrome. By exposing the 'secret' thinking of NTs and opening each chapter with a list of 'need to knows', O'Toole sensitively and candidly explains the social rules that often confuse teens with Asperger's syndrome. The graphics, humor, and short chapters make the book lively and accessible, while O'Toole's own experiences as an individual with Asperger syndrome helps teens connect personally with her insightful, practical advice. -- Diane M. Kennedy and Rebecca S. Banks, authors of Bright Not Broken: Gifted Kids, ADHD, and Autism 'There are so many reasons to love this book. It is kid-friendly, fun, packed with practical tips, and full of respect for those needing these tips the most. The thing I love best about it, however, is how appropriate the content is for every student, both those on the spectrum and those who are not. In fact, we can all learn something from Jennifer O'Toole's wonderful advice on relationships, organization, learning, communication and self-respect." -- Paula Kluth, PhD, author of You're Going to Love this Kid: Teaching Students with Autism in the Inclusive Classroom reading [O'Toole's] book is making me understand more how his brain is wired and I am learning SO much. -- Elizabeth Conner, mother of a child with Asperger syndrome

About the Author

Jennifer Cook O'Toole has Asperger syndrome and is the mother to three young Aspie children. She graduated from Brown University, and attended Columbia University's Graduate School of Social Work. She has previously worked as a social worker, and a teacher in both special needs and mainstream education. She has also served on the Family Advisory Board for Levine Children's Hospital, North Carolina, and regularly gives presentations at hospitals and local universities on special needs parenting. In 2002 she was nominated for Disney's Teacher of the Year Award. More recently, she has been honored with the GRASP (Global and Regional Asperger Syndrome Partnership) 2012 Distinguished Spectrumite Medal, as well as the 2012 Temple Grandin Award for "outstanding accomplishment and contribution to [her] family and community" She lives near Charlotte, North Carolina.

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22 of 23 people found the following review helpful By Lovely Treez TOP 500 REVIEWERVINE VOICE on 7 Mar. 2013
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As a parent of a child with ASD who is nearing teenage years I have read quite a few Asperger-themed books both non-fiction and fiction. Up until now the supreme bible/support has been Tony Attwood's The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome but if your child is approaching adolescence this is the ideal book for parent and child to share.

Life for my son and other Aspies is like being thrust into a foreign land with no knowledge of the local dialect/customs or culture - something which would freak out most of us NTs (supposedly "normal" neurotypical folk). Things NTs take for granted like when to say thank you, how to greet others, how to control potential melt-downs, how not to verbalise every thought in our head without censorship are explained here in a structured, easy to navigate guide. My son has learned a great deal about hierarchy within his class group (alpha-males, queen-bees etc) by dipping into this and whilst it might still seem nonsensical to him the way his class mates act at least he has a concept of why they're "play-acting" and he too can play along in order to be accepted.

I would highly recommend this guide for those who have Aspergers (from pre-teens to adults) as well as parents, siblings, grandparents, carers, educational professionals - there are so many people out there who would benefit greatly from reading this and hopefully simultaneously gaining insight and empathy.
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18 of 19 people found the following review helpful By Laura on 3 Dec. 2012
Format: Paperback
As an Aspie myself, I have been finding this book really useful so far!!!! There are lots of good tips for pretty much every social situation, from knowing how to stay out of someones personal space to dating. I would definatly recommend this to any other Aspies out there!!!
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By JE Stevens on 12 Feb. 2013
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Working really well to help students I know- I can thoroughly recommend this book to all working with aspergers students in a secondary school
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By A. Hunt on 20 Mar. 2014
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I really needed this book 30years ago, so much heartache could have been saved, however we can't change the past, this is really helping me to understand even more of the social rules that I thought I had figured out myself,it was purchased for my 7yr young daughter and 8 yr young son and I am sure it will help them lots in understanding why N/T's do, say and don't say! Thanks Jennifer for sharing. x0
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16 of 18 people found the following review helpful By Hanford on 27 Nov. 2012
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I haven't finished reading it but I can say that it is and will continue to be a very usefull read for both Aspies and their parents, families and even friends and teachers. An Aspie speaking to Aspies making them face and accept their uniqueness and showing them how to navigate a world of neuro typical (NT) people. This is an insider's vue on how differently Aspies perceive and respond to certain stimuli, their hightened emotivity and strict interpretations. Even as a parent I have to be constantly reminded that we see and feel things differently and that it is for me to understand him and help him understand us. I know that we will come back again and again on the different chapters to illustrate everyday life episodes, misunderstandings and explain frustrations and hurts.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By sue charman on 19 April 2013
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very interesting and thought provoking. Well recommended . very useful for my job and my son with Asperger's syndrome. thanks
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By A.H. on 11 Mar. 2013
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Probably more useful to the young person who is living with Aspergers than to those wanting to learn about the syndrome.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By c p duffy on 9 May 2014
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I would recommend this book to all parents of Asperkids and anyone who suspects their teen may be Aspergers. My daughter seemed fine till she hit teens and is now in her 20s. When I read this book everything fell into place, it explained so much of the last 10 years. It also made me realise she had been much more vulnerable than we knew, and helped us to understand why she does and says what she does.
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