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An Asperger Marriage (Paperback)

by Gisela Slater-Walker (Author), Chris Slater-Walker (Author) "When I told my mother-in-law the title of the book, An Asperger Marriage, her reaction was immediate and totally unexpected; she was upset and said..." (more)
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
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Product details

  • Paperback: 160 pages
  • Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers (17 Jan 2002)
  • Language English
  • ISBN-10: 1843100177
  • ISBN-13: 978-1843100171
  • Product Dimensions: 22.8 x 15.6 x 1.2 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
  • Amazon.co.uk Sales Rank: 151,602 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

    Popular in this category:

    #100 in  Books > Health, Family & Lifestyle > Psychology & Psychiatry > Applied Psychology > Counselling > Marriage

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Product Description

Product Description

Four years ago, Chris Slater-Walker was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome. For him this was an explanation of why he has always regarded himself as "socially handicapped", but for his wife Gisela it meant coming to terms with a marriage in which there would never be any intuitive understanding, despite Chris's good intentions. This is an account of a long and still unfinished process of learning to live with a disability that some regard as incompatible with marriage. Charting Chris's background, the history of Gisela and Chris's relationship and the subsequentimpact of the diagnosis on their relationship, the first half of the book thoughtfully juxtaposes the two authors' stories and their reactions to Chris's condition. The remainder covers developments within their relationship, and the understanding that has grown between the couple; however, the authors never shirk from describing the difficulties that have arisen.


About the Author

Gisela and Chris Slater-Walker have been partners for eleven years. Both gained BA (Hons) in Russian Studies from Manchester University. Gisela is an English teacher at Aylesbury High School.
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When I told my mother-in-law the title of the book, An Asperger Marriage, her reaction was immediate and totally unexpected; she was upset and said 'Oh, surely there is some affection there'. Read the first page
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51% buy the item featured on this page:
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Customer Reviews

7 Reviews
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Average Customer Review
4.3 out of 5 stars (7 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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23 of 25 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Learning how to give and take, 25 Jul 2002
By A Customer
Life in any relationship can be hard but how much harder it is when one partner has a disability only lately diagnosed. Life and learning how to cope with such disability is described here in a heartfelt way by the co-authors. The two voices in this book are distinct and separate, yet theirs is a united story of learning to manage and give and take.
A warm book which brings helpful, practical strategies and most of all, hope for others in similar relationships - read it - you won't be disappointed.
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13 of 14 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars An amazing insight, 30 Aug 2006
By T. Daws (England) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
I have recently discovered that I have Aspergers Syndrome and have been trying to read as much as possible about it. This book is the best one that I have read as in many ways it was like reading a description of how I feel about certain aspects in my life. I found the book easy to read and in places very moving. In particular the desicription of how the use of email and instant messenger makes it easier for the person with Aspergers Syndrome to communicate made me feel better about using this method of communication myself (my husband and I met this way 12 years ago!) and takes away some of the guilt I feel about prefering this to the phone or face to face. Another section of the book that describes the difficultly with being able to hear what people say in noisy environments was also very moving for me as I did not realise this was even an aspect of Aspergers. I have always had very sensitive hearing and a friend recently described me as having the hearing of a dog, yet in noisy places I don't bother to try to follow a conversation as I just cannot hear what the other person is saying.

It is such a relief to finally know that I (and anyone else with AS) have a reason for the way I act and react and I am not deliberately a rude, unfriendly, awkward and pedantic person. My husband is now reading the book and I sincerely hope that it will also help him to understand me better and help him to cope with the hurt that I unintentionally cause him.

I would recommend this book to any adult who is close to another adult who has or may have AS, or anyone who has AS themselves. I think it would be a helpful book to anyone in this situation, not just for couples where one or both has AS. Once I have formal diagnosis I am considering passing the book to my parents as I feel it would be helpful for them to understand about AS and how I am affected. Therefore if you are the parent or even adult child of someone diagnosed with AS I would recommend this book to you too.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Practical, real-life experiences, 15 Jan 2005
By Keith Appleyard "kapple999" (Brighton, UK) - See all my reviews
(TOP 500 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)      
If you're in an Asperger relationship, whether it be a new relationship or a long-standing one, then this book can be of use to you.

As 2 separate but interwoven tales, the authors take you through the all-too-familiar issues of communication, body-language etc. But they also dwell on how they've learned to cope with socialising as a couple, perceived 'rudeness' when ignoring people, and also how to deal with family life, housework, children, etc. Chris comes over as not that 'high-functioning', when they tell of his trials & tribulations at work, so this is not a rose-tinted story of a 'perfect' couple.

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Most Recent Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 stars You'll never think the same again
This book changed my life some years ago. My mother phoned me after seeing the authors on the TV, saying what they said sounded like my relationship. Read more
Published 20 days ago by N. Rice

2.0 out of 5 stars Asperger's are not Disabled
I have Asperger's Syndrome and am married.

The main problem with this book is it treats us Asperger's as though we have a disability. Read more
Published 15 months ago by Manx Mann

4.0 out of 5 stars One type of experience.
One has to remember that whilst psychologists talk about people with Asperger's syndrome being on the Autism spectrum, that Asperger's itself is a spectrum condition, with many... Read more
Published 23 months ago by Soarhead

5.0 out of 5 stars She is a God
I love this book, and it really helped me with my life. As a pupil of Mrs Slater-Walker I can say she is a really nice gal. Well done to her on such a great read.
Published on 3 Mar 2004 by Jboy

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