"The worst film I've ever seen. I saw this after watching a badly-dubbed Dutch porn film on a hotel movie channel, and guess which was better? (Clue: It didn't star Ben Stiller.)"
"Undescribably poor. On behalf of everyone involved, I wholeheartedly apologise to the families of the characters portrayed. Hell, sorry to the rest of the planet too, for this film's very existence."
"The most painfully bad film I've ever had the misfortune of sitting through in the cinema. This achieves the impossible by making 2 hours of watching Sarah Michelle Gellar an unpleasant experience."