Yorkshire born in Leeds on 13th Nov 1934, I was heir to the Chappell family undertaking business that was started by my great grandfather Albert Chappell. The business took a cultural leap forward when my grandfather Albert Chappell altered the sign on the wall of his joinery workshop from Undertaker to Funeral Director. My father Albert Chappell eventually took control of the business and changed the sign yet again to Joiner and Funeral Director. It didn't leave much room for manoeuvre sign-wise should his son Alwyne Albert Chappell ever wish to follow the trend in company Logo modernisation. As it turned out, I never did take control of the family business, for I recognised at a very early age that however one described the core function of funeral directing, it would still involve dead bodies. The aspirations of today's young men differ considerably from those of my era; train driving has lost its appeal and most now recognise the dangers of being a fighter pilot. However in my life to date I have never heard anyone proclaim that what they really wanted to be, was an undertaker.
Well it certainly wasn't my career choice but in those days one did ones father's bidding. The day after I left Leeds Grammar School I became an undertaker's assistant; I really couldn't see it lasting.
Nevertheless it lasted long enough, eight years to be precise and surprisingly there were many humorous moments; I could write a book.
I'm told that if you write a book, you are an author; well my book was published in 2010, so why don't I feel like one? By definition you are an author when you write a letter or even an email. However in my mind an author is a person who writes books for a living; which also in my mind suggests that he or she writes more than one. I admit that anyone who writes just one book which sells a few million copies and is made into a film to boot, could definitely claim to be an author; regrettably I don't fall into either category.
That is not to say that my book won't suddenly become a best seller but as yet, royalties have singularly failed to make any substantial contribution to my pension; actually the word substantial should not be in there but it just seemed to balance the sentence.
My book is a biography covering a thirteen year period of my life, starting when I gave up my job to sail away to the Mediterranean with my wife Jean. I agree that it's not the norm to set off on such a venture at the age of forty-nine but I really don't like norms. Yes I accept that being an undertaker is not the norm either but as my wife always says when she's losing an argument 'that's different.'
My plan was to live on fresh crusty bread, large misshapen tomatoes and red wine but after a year of paying Riviera mooring fees I recognised that changes would have to be made; wine into water for a start.
Happily fortune smiled upon us when we became a skipper and wife team running a motor yacht for a multimillionaire. He generally addressed me as 'dear boy' and regularly plied me with alcoholic beverages; hence my book's title 'Drink,Dear Boy?
Am I an author? Perhaps not yet; I'd better write another book.
